Page 17 of Mending Hearts at the Cornish Country Hospital (The Cornish Country Hospital #6)
As it turned out, Drew had been able to open her eyes to a whole lot more.
He’d told her about his experience of working with children who had autism during his medical training, and the benefits he’d seen of parents and carers who used Makaton to help communicate with their children.
Makaton was a combination of signs, symbols and speech, and it was something Eden had been considering, but part of her had wondered whether it meant she was accepting that Teddie would never communicate the way other children did, and that by doing so she’d be giving up on him.
‘Don’t you think it would be better to have a way to communicate with him now, whether or not he eventually learns to speak?
’ There’d been no edge to Drew’s voice when he’d said it.
It wasn’t accusatory, just a completely honest question that forced her to consider her motives and it was just one of many things that Drew had helped her look at differently.
When they’d reached the pirate ship, Eden had repeatedly lifted Teddie on to the platform at the top of the slide, so that he could come down.
It was something experience had taught her he wouldn’t bore of, even if they did it a thousand times, but it only took around ten or twelve lifts before she needed a break.
When Teddie had tugged at her hand to let her know he was ready to go again she’d sighed.
‘I’m sorry Ted, Mummy needs a rest, but I’ll take you up again in a bit.’
‘Do you want me to do it?’ Drew’s question had caught her by surprise – she hadn’t wanted him to feel obliged and she wasn’t sure how Teddie would react to someone he’d only just met.
‘Do you really want to? He’s surprisingly heavy to lift and he doesn’t do much to help himself get up there. He can be a bit funny with people he doesn’t know well too, so don’t take it personally if he pushes you away.’
‘Don’t worry, I won’t and I wouldn’t have offered to take him on the slide if I didn’t mean it.
’ It had been another reassuringly straightforward response and, when Drew had held out his hand, Teddie had taken it without hesitation.
She should have been shocked, given how unusual that was for him, but somehow she wasn’t.
Teddie had recognised the same connection to Drew that she’d felt and her little boy was trying to tell her, in his own way, that she’d been right.
After that, it had been Drew’s hand Teddie had yanked on, to let him know that it was time to be lifted to the top of the slide again and, unlike Eden, Drew didn’t show any signs of tiring.
Eventually she’d suggested that they go to the café and almost as soon as Teddie was back in his buggy, he’d dropped off to sleep.
Drew had insisted on paying for the coffee and cake, despite Eden telling him that it should be her treat, considering he’d given up his time and lifted Teddie to the top of the slide at least twenty-five times.
It was something else that marked him out as being completely different from Jesse.
Her ex had been secretive about money as well as everything else.
The lies he’d weaved had been so tangled that even now she wasn’t sure she knew the whole story.
Now, as Drew walked back towards her, she found herself wondering how different her life might have been if she hadn’t met Jesse.
She would still be able to trust her instincts without overthinking and second-guessing everything, after years of gaslighting had made her doubt even the things she saw with her own eyes.
She’d still have had the self-confidence that experience had robbed her of, which might have changed so many things, including how far she’d progressed in her career.
Maybe she’d even have the happy little family she’d always envisaged, one that wasn’t burdened with any of the issues she’d experienced in her own childhood.
Eden would never regret meeting Jesse though, because she wouldn’t have Teddie otherwise.
‘There you go.’ Drew set down the tray and put Eden’s carrot cake and latte in front of her. The picnic table she’d chosen was furthest away from the others outside the café, and she hoped it would be quiet enough for Teddie to stay asleep.
‘Thank you.’ She looked up at him. ‘Not just for this, but for everything today.’
‘It’s no problem.’ It was the same thing he’d said when they first met up, but he wasn’t finished. ‘I enjoyed it, especially taking Teddie on the slide.’
‘I think you’re his new favourite person.
’ She really liked Drew and knowing how much her son liked him just intensified that feeling.
It had been on the tip of her tongue to say that he was her new favourite person too, after how much he’d helped her to think things through, but she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
She hadn’t really known what to expect from their meet up, and she’d had no idea that he’d worked with children with autism during his medical training.
Or that he still did some volunteering in that area.
It had meant they’d been able to talk about far wider issues than just his own experiences of autism, which were very different to Teddie’s.
She wasn’t sure if there were additional insights he might still be able to share, but she knew she didn’t want this to be the last time they met up.
‘It’ll be nice to be someone’s favourite person.
’ Drew’s comment wasn’t self-pitying, just another example of the kind of total honesty she was finding so appealing.
Although she wasn’t sure what to say in response.
She didn’t want to say she was sure he was someone else’s favourite person, because she had no way of knowing if that was true.
Instead she decided to mirror his honesty and ask him the question she’d been wanting to ask for the last couple of hours.
‘You haven’t got someone waiting for you at home then?’
‘Only my cat. Does that tick any ASD boxes do you think, living alone with a cat?’
‘Far better than living with a total dickhead like I did for nearly seven years.’ Eden hadn’t meant to blurt that out and it took her by surprise again just how easy it was to be honest with Drew and tell him things she’d only usually share with the people closest to her.
He probably didn’t have the slightest interest in her personal life, but there was a hint of a smile playing around his mouth at her blunt choice of words, before his expression grew more serious again.
‘Was he Teddie’s father?’ When Eden nodded, Drew was quiet for a moment and she found herself wanting to fill the silence and explain how she’d ended up with someone like Jesse.
They were far enough away from everyone else for their conversation not to be overheard and suddenly the story was just pouring out of her.
Every detail of it. She hardly paused for breath and she couldn’t look at Drew, but she couldn’t stop either.
‘I met Jesse when I was working at a hospital in London, after university. He’d been in a car accident and was badly injured.
The team caring for him weren’t sure if he was going to walk again.
I looked after him when he first came into the emergency department and he told me there was only one person in the world who’d care if he wasn’t here any more, but it would be better even for his sister if he died.
I couldn’t believe he didn’t have lots of people who cared about him, but when I went up to see him on the ward a few days later, one of the nurses told me I was his first visitor.
After that I kept going to see him. I found out he’d been in care after his parents died, and that he’d gone to live in a bedsit at nineteen.
He told me he’d faced cancer treatment alone that same year, because he hadn’t wanted to burden his little sister with knowing just how ill he was.
It was the same reason he hadn’t told her about the accident.
Or at least that’s what he told me. I think now that it was all part of his plan to make me feel sorry for him and like he needed me, but all I could see at the time was someone vulnerable and alone.
Jesse told me how hard he’d worked to move on from the start he’d had in life and that he was earning a good wage, but it wasn’t enough.
Eventually he confessed that he’d crashed his car deliberately because he didn’t want to live.
And despite what I know about him now, I think all of that was true.
Somehow, over the weeks of going to visit Jesse, I found myself feeling responsible for him, and he told me I was the only reason he wanted to get better.
He didn’t want me to speak to his sister, because he said she’d had a lifetime of being burdened with his problems. I should probably have realised even then what I was setting myself up for, but somehow I couldn’t see it. ’
Eden paused, searching Drew’s face and looking for signs of judgement or something that told her how stupid he thought she’d been, but there was no indication of that, and it made it easy for her to continue.