Page 46 of Meeting Me, Loving You (Hearts of Maple Lake #1)

Thankfully, Tyler seems to not notice our exchange and continues on with a grin. “I’m ready for that hike if you guys are.” He points his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of our campsite.

“Uh, yeah,” I agree. “Let’s do it.”

Tyler doesn’t wait for us as he begins wading toward the riverbank.

Turning back to Jules, I wait for her as she paddles slowly through the water and against the current.

I reach out my hand to help and she takes it, wrapping her fingers in mine.

I pull her in until she’s able to stand, and she tips her head back to meet my eyes.

Relief, fear, and desire mingle together as her eyes dip down to my lips.

But there’s one more emotion—one that stands out to me the most. Uncertainty .

My hands burn as they press against her soft skin, the water doing nothing to cool me.

Small goosebumps form over the curves of her shoulders as she moves her gaze away from my lips and down to my chest. We’re standing close, our bodies only inches apart.

I could pull her in with one motion to have her lips on mine and have my arms wrapped firmly around her body.

“Thank you,” she says to my chest.

Our hands hang limply together, loose and hesitant. “C’mon,” I say. “I think Tyler is pretty excited for this hike.”

With my heart in my throat, I take a chance and thread my fingers confidently through hers.

She doesn’t pull away, and our eyes meet for a second.

She questions me with a look before I guide her through the water and to the edge of the river, her hand wrapped firmly in mine.

And when I look back at her over my shoulder, she’s looking down at her feet, and I see a tiny smile fighting to break across her face.

After drying off and hiking for two hours, we made dinner and watched as the sun finally began to set behind the trees.

We roasted hot dogs over the campfire and enjoyed the sound of country music playing over the Bluetooth speaker that Tyler brought along.

Laying on my sleeping bag beside the fire pit, I’m completely relaxed.

My stomach is full and my face is sunburned from the day outdoors.

Our campsite is surrounded by the darkness that crowds the forest, save for the light of our large campfire.

Our tents are arranged in a wide circle several feet back from the fire, with the pit being in the center.

Jules is sitting on her own sleeping bag across from me, and I can’t help but be mesmerized by the magic that surrounds her.

The glow of the flames flickers across her cheekbones and dances in her eyes as she pokes at the fire with a stick.

Her legs are tucked up to her chest, and her free hand wraps around her knees.

She’s wearing black leggings and a large grey hoodie.

After swimming and hiking, she pulled her hair into a thick, messy bun on top of her head, and even like this, in the middle of nature, warmed only by a fire and sweats, she’s gorgeous.

Seeing her in this environment is just confirmation of how perfect she is.

Jules is comfortable out here, spending the night in the woods with no running water and no electricity.

She hasn’t complained about a single thing.

Not about the fact that she had to pee behind a tree, or that she’s had to ration her water.

She hasn’t even said one negative thing about collecting firewood or that she’s cold without the sunshine.

A girl like her is hard to come by, especially for a man like me who practically lives outdoors half the year.

Another reason why I shouldn’t have run from her. She’s the perfect other half to this nature-loving outdoorsman.

Now, if only I could be a repairman and fix what I’ve broken between us.

Tyler stands up from the log he was sitting on to my right. “I’m gonna get some more firewood.”

Jules looks up at her brother. “Okay.” She smiles. “Don’t get eaten by a bear.”

A laugh escapes me, sounding like a snort. Tyler eyes me. “If I get attacked by a bear, you better save Jules. Otherwise, I’m leading it right back here to take care of you next.”

“Tyler!” Jules laughs. “That’s so dark!”

I keep my eyes on Jules as Tyler turns his back to us. “Don’t worry, man. I wouldn’t let anything happen to Jules. ”

Her cheeks turn a light shade of red, as she smiles and looks away, following Tyler with her eyes as he disappears into the trees, a flashlight leading his way.

Once he’s out of sight, I stand and drag my sleeping bag around the fire pit until it’s right beside hers. Then I sit. She watches me but doesn’t say anything, continuing to poke at the embers in the fire with her blackened stick.

We sit for several moments, neither one of us breaking the silence. Everything in me screams to just fix the damage that I’ve caused between us, but I struggle with knowing where to start.

Everything I’d done to help her see life’s potential had been undone in my one moment of fear on that dang rowboat.

I was so desperate to save myself from the possibility of future rejection that I had ripped off the wings of an angel after teaching her to fly in the first place.

How could she ever forgive me? And why should she?

One minute, I encouraged her to touch the sun, and the next, I was ripping her from the sky.

I wish I could say I was doing it for her, to keep her safe from my flaws.

But it’s not true. I was selfish and I freaked out.

I needed to control the situation before someone else had control over me and I’d once again be kept in a bubble of imperfection.

My parents’ voices continue to echo in my ears, telling me I’m not enough, but Juliet’s voice fights against theirs as I remember her telling me I’m all she’s ever wanted.

My memory flashes to all the times she’s proven to be on my side since I came back to Maple Lake.

She told me the truth about how Tyler felt when I moved away so many years ago, but she also encouraged me to move forward and not blame myself for the loss of our childhood friendship.

Even though I set out to be the light in her darkness, she really became the light in mine.

“I’m sorry,” I say. I expected to come up with something eloquent and worthy of her forgiveness, but all my words have escaped me at her nearness.

“What?” She turns her head toward me, and her gaze is steady as it lands on mine.

The flames brighten one side of her face, while the other is masked in darkness.

Frizzy curls stand out from her hairline, and one small curl that’s shorter than the rest falls from her messy bun to land across her eye.

Without any thought at all, I reach a hand toward her and gently move the hair from her face, tucking it beside her cheek. I let my hand glide down her face, and her breath catches as her eyes close.

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Jules.”

Her eyes fly open, and they lock onto mine.

I continue because, if I don’t, I know I’ll lose my nerve and say the wrong thing.

So I focus, and proceed slowly, lowering my hand from her face and threading my hands together to drape them over my knees that are tucked up against my chest, mimicking hers.

All I want to do is hold her, to feel her near me, but for me to get these words out, I need to have complete control of my body.

And, more importantly, she deserves to hear it all.

Staring at the flames, I beg them to steady me.

“When I came back to Maple Lake, I finally got the chance to live my life just the way I wanted, without my parents hounding me about my life choices. It’s been amazing—I’ve had no one to control my actions or thoughts, and I’ve been free to just live with no repercussions from outside forces.

As a kid, my parents essentially made me their puppet.

Every choice I made wasn’t mine, it was theirs.

And even as an adult, they did everything they could to cause me to doubt my choices that didn’t follow their plans.

I remember when I told them I wanted to be a teacher, they completely belittled me and said I had to pursue something more prestigious .

” Hearing my dad’s voice in my head makes the word taste bad in my mouth.

I take a deep breath to steady my nerves but push on.

“I thought that tethering my heart to someone would be the ultimate prison. I’d be choosing to live up to someone’s expectations again, to put myself under extreme pressure in order to feel loved in return. ”

“Cam,” she whispers, but I shake my head, hoping she’ll understand that I need to finish what I have to say in order to make this right between us.

“But I was wrong, Jules.” I stare at the fire in fear of finding pity on her face.

Or worse, disgust at how weak and juvenile I sound.

“I shouldn’t have put you in the same category as people like my parents.

They never showed me an ounce of genuine love or self-sacrifice.

But you,” in a moment of weakness I turn my eyes to her and see a loose tear dripping from her eye, gleaming in the firelight.

“You have been the only constant source of positivity in my life these past few months. I hadn’t even realized it before, but you’re the same as you were all those years ago—the brightest light in the room.

” I smile, and she takes my hand, twisting her fingers between mine until they’re interlocked.

“You should have told me all of this before, Cam. I would never have judged you for feeling this way. I understand you’ve had an upbringing that was never supportive, but we both know I have my share of insecurities to work on too.

I’m not anywhere close to being perfect.

” She shakes her head, frantically searching my eyes with hers.