Page 99 of Marley

“Fuck,” I said under my breath. I instantly felt my mother’s eyes burning into me. She was twenty fucking feet away. The woman had bionic hearing when it came to swear words.

“Sorry,” I mouthed to her. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head like I was four-years-old.

The service was lovely and romantic and blah, blah blah bullshit. Jim gagged at even the whiff of shit or puke, so there went the in sickness bit, and there was no way she’d ever obey Len, so that was out the window too. I seriously didn’t see the point of all that bollocks, except I did, and she was sitting four rows from the back with a Desperate Dan lookalike. He was four foot wide and nine foot tall. I just knew that he’d eaten a whole cow in a pie for breakfast that morning. In fact, I swear he had part of the tail caught in the designer stubble on his chin and a hoof stuck between his front teeth.

I looked at her a total of seventeen times in the church and desperately tried to get near her as the photos were being taken.

“Will you get the fuck over here and stop wandering off.” Bailey growled through gritted teeth. He was taking the best man bullshit far too seriously if you asked me.

“You’re behaving like a fucking bored toddler the way you keep wandering off.” I dug my hands in my pockets and kicked at the gravel, probably looking a lot like a bored toddler.

When the photos were finally done, Ash was nowhere in sight. When we got to the function hall, she was sitting nowhere near me.

I spent the next few hours eating, drinking, and smiling my way through the speeches. Kissing aunties and cousins and being chatted up by no fewer than nine women, most of whom I was related to.

Finally, when the tables began to be cleared, I stood and made my way past where she was sitting and out to the bar.

It didn’t take long for her to follow. She had her arm looped through Georgia’s and she totally ignored me as they both headed towards the ladies toilets.

A minute later, Maca appears next to me with the Neanderthal in tow. He cleared his throat and looked a little uncomfortable. “All right, mate? This is Ashley’s fella, Dan.” I spat my bourbon. I kid you not, the fuckhead’s name was Dan.

I nod my head in his direction.

“All right. Ashley’s boyfriend, eh? She moves fast, that girl.”

I shouldn’t have, I really shouldn’t have.

“We’ve only just broken up. I can’t believe she’s moved on so quickly. We only decided a few days ago that we were gonna try and work through our problems.”

But I did.

His mouth opened and closed a few times before he said, “I’m not ... I’m not her boyfriend. I’m just her date for the night. We don’t really know each other that well. This is our first date, really.”

And your last.

Ash and Georgia came back from their bathroom break and there were a few seconds of awkward silence.

“Ashley, you look absolutely beautiful. Stunning in fact.” I told her.

She narrowed her eyes on me then opened, looked inside, and then closed the bag she had with her. We all watched, mystified as she patted herself down, as if checking her pockets. She then looked all around her.

“What are you looking for?” I asked.

“The fuck I’m supposed to give about what you think of how I look.”

Oh, she’s such a comedienne.

“Nup, can’t find it. I reckon that means it don’t exist.” She turned her attentions to Dan The Cow Killer.

I should just say fuck this for a game of soldiers and walk away, but I’m not done yet.

“Ash, can we go somewhere and talk for a minute please?” I reached out and put my hand on her arm. She looked down at where I was touching her before meeting my gaze, her eyes filled with tears.

“No, now take your fucking hands off me.” She spoke to me through gritted teeth and I didn’t hesitate to remove my hand.

“I’m sorry. I just wanna—”

“Just wanna what, Rock Star? You just wanna what? Fuck with my head some more? Fuckmesome more? Or just fuckoffand leave me,again? What, tell me?”