Page 100 of Marley

‘Desperate to be anywhere but here’ Dan said nothing. He pretty much stood with his back to us as he tried to get served at the bar.

I wasn’t doing that there. It was Jimmie and Len’s wedding. I wouldn’t do what everyone expected and cause a scene.

“Nothing, Ash, nothing. You look beautiful, that’s all. I just thought you should know.”

I watched as a tear rolled down her perfect cheek, then I did what I did best; I turned and walked away to the sound of Georgia calling out my name.

I spent the next couple of hours chatting with family members and drinking far too much. Maca found me sitting at the bar at the opposite end of the room to where I left him.

“I had no idea she was bringing him, else I would’ve warned you. What the fuck is going on with you two anyway? I had no clue things had gotten serious.”

“Well, if you’d have been the fuck around, you might know a bit more.” I said without looking at him.

He sat down on the bar stool next to me. “Fair enough, but I’ve had some bridges to build with your sister. We needed some time on our own to get back on track.”

I felt like an arsehole. What had gone on with Ashley was in no way Maca’s fault. I was just pissed off at the world.

“How are things with my sister?” I asked, whilst destroying a cardboard beer coaster. “You get to the bottom of the Cameron King thing?”

“We’re okay. I’m not sure that she’s all in yet. There’s gonna be trust issues for a while, I’ve gotta expect that, and he’s messed with her head, big time. Told her that he loves her and went on a drink and drug binge.”

“Fuck. Seems hard to imagine, a big hard bloke like that falling apart over my little sister.”

“Yeah, she’s good at getting blokes to do that.” He said with a shake of his head.

“She’s feeling guilty over what she’s done to him and still struggling to totally trust me. I think she’s already worrying about next year’s world tour.”

I nodded my head, knowing a little of how he felt and being only too aware that I’d fucked up any chance of Ashley ever trusting me.

“So, you two gonna get married?” It seemed like the logical move to me. He surprised me by shaking his head no.

“We’re not gonna rush into anything. We’ve got four years of catching up to do. If we get married, people are gonna expect babies, and we just want some time for us right now. We’ve both grown up and changed a lot in the time we’ve been apart. We need to get to know each other again. We’ll get around to it when it suites us, not everyone else.”

He gestured to the barman for more drinks. Someone came up and made small talk, a cousin of Jim’s, he said. When he left, Maca asked, “So come on then. What’s the go with Ash? She’s really pissed off with you, dude. She was almost in tears when you walked away.”

“We had something good.” I turned and looked him in the eye. I wanted him to know that for once, I was serious. For the first time ever, I, me, this bloke right here, had feelings for a girl that went beyond sex—way, way beyond. “We had something good and then I did what I do and fucked it all up.”

“How?”

“I had her move in with me because she was sick and I wanted to look after her. She was with me for over a week and I never touched her.” I admitted.

His bushy eyebrows raised up into his hairline. “All this time, and you haven’t slept with her?”

“I slept with her plenty of times, but we didn’t have sex, not until the night before I left.”

“You fucked and ran.” He stated.

“I panicked. She’s perfect ... too fucking perfect and I’m...” I shrugged my shoulders at him. “I’m just me, and I knew that eventually I’d balls it all up and let her down somehow, so I thought it’d be better to get out sooner rather than later.” I admitted. It felt good getting it off my chest, even if it didn’t change anything.

“So you jogged off and banged the Russian?”

“I didn’t bang anyone. I made sure I had my picture taken with plenty of birds so that she would hate me and move on, but I didn’t bang a single one of them. I couldn’t. I could only ... all I can think of is her. I want her back, Mac, but she won’t listen to a word I say.”

“Have you tried talking to her in private? Like, not at a bar at a celebrity wedding?”

Oh, I tried, and ended up traumatised for life and probably unable to father children. “I went to her flat.”

“And?”