Page 118 of Marley

“Where’s Sean, Marls? Is he okay?”

I can’t lie to her. She’s my little sister, it’s been my job for most of my life to protect her, but I can’t save her from this, I can’t even soften the blow.

I can’t get my words out and when she noticed me struggle, she knew.

“Marls... no, Marls, no, no. Don’t make it bad. Please don’t make it bad. Daddy!” She looked over my shoulder to where my dad was standing. “Tell him, Daddy, tell him please.”

“He hit his head, George. He hit his head really bad. He’s never gonna recover from it. They’ve got a machine breathing for him, but he’s never gonna wake up.”

I expected crying and sobbing. What I didn’t expect was silence and the vice-like grip she had on my hand. The door to the room opened and the nurse walked in, carrying Beau. My mum collapsed, my dad holding her up the best he could.

My nephew, my best mate’s baby boy was wrapped in a blanket, but I could see his dark hair on the top of his head.

“Can you all leave please? I want to be alone with my son.” George asked.

I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Go, now. Please everyone.”

The room emptied.

“Marls?” I heard Ash say my name from behind me. I shook my head no.

“I’m not leaving her,” I tell Ash. “I’m not leaving, George,” I tell my sister.

Ashley left the room.

Georgia laid her son on the bed in front of her and unwrapped the blanket. He was perfect, and he looked like Maca.

“Oh Marley, why, why? He’s just a little baby. Why him, why not take me?”

“I don’t know, George. I don’t have the answers tonight, I’m sorry.”

I poured water in the bowl that the nurse brought in. I made sure it was warm—not hot, not cold, but warm—the way that babies like it. I grabbed some of the cotton wool that was sitting next to it and took it to my sister. I stood and watched as Georgia washed her son. She asked me to pass her the bag that was sitting on the shelf in her room. Milo had dropped it off earlier, once he’d finished giving his statement to the police.

From bag, George pulled a nappy, a vest, a baby grow, and a blanket that had guitars over it. She dressed Beau, then wrapped him in the blanket.

I sat on the bed next to her and held her son. I told him all about his Dad and what a great musician he was. I told him, much like I did my own son, how much his Dad and all of us loved him. I tried to think of everything that Maca would say. I tried to make him feel safe and loved.

Sometime later, the nurse that was in earlier, brought a wheelchair in and told us that it was time to take Beau to meet his Dad.

When we got to his room, the rest of our family was there, along with Maca’s parents and half-brother and sister. That pissed me off. He’d seen a bit of his Dad over the years, but not his Mum, and he’d only ever met his brother and sister a few times.

Bailey and Len lift George onto Maca’s bed. It’s the most heartbreaking sight I’d ever witnessed.

George moved Maca’s arm so that it was around her and she undid the blanket a little and introduced Beau to his Daddy.

“Look what we made, Sean. Just look at how perfect he is. He looks so much like you. Just look at all that hair, all curly, just like yours used to be.”

She wiped the tears from under her eyes. “They’re not letting me keep him though, Sean. They’re taking both of you away from me. He has to go to heaven and they’ve decided that you need to go to heaven with him so that he doesn’t get scared and lonely.”

She kisses Beau, then she puts him to Maca’s lips so that they press against his son’s head. Then she kisses Maca.

“I love you both, my beautiful boys. I love you both so much and I’ll see you very soon.”

She closed her eyes with her husband’s arm around her, their son held in her arms.

Maca’s life support was switched off and he passed away quietly at 11.43pm.