Page 40 of Malice: The Mate Games (Apocalypse #3)

Chapter

Thirty

MERRI

E verything stopped, the room tilting on its axis as my heart fell on the floor at Grim’s feet, only for him to crush it under his fancy Italian leather shoe. At least, that was how it felt.

Eyes darting from Grim to Chaos, then Malice, and finally Sin, I waited for one or all of them to protest. To tell Grim how wrong he was. None of them said anything.

I’d been so confident. So sure they would accept the truth for what it was. Not once had I doubted the connection between us after Dahlia had brought it to my attention and given it a name. Everything I’d noted but hadn’t had an explanation for suddenly made perfect sense.

I was such a fool.

How could I ever think for a single second that these men would have been as happy about the news as I’d been?

I was an unwelcome parasite in their lives; lust and love were only symptoms of my presence.

None of this was part of some mystical plot.

The bonds I’d been feeling were probably one-sided.

A symptom of all the dreamwalks and my own silly need to be loved.

If I needed any proof of that, the others’ silence was more than enough. Grim had never made me any promises, but Sin and Chaos both told me they loved me. Malice had merely promised me we weren’t a casual fling. But that was a far cry from a declaration of love.

I never should have believed a single word out of their stupid, kissable lips. They were born liars. Masters of deceit and warfare. Skilled in manipulating people to accomplish their own end goals.

From the beginning, I had never been more than a means to an end.

“I see,” I whispered, the words so rough they almost didn’t make it past my lips. “Th-thank you for clearing that up for m-me.”

Then I turned on my heel and bolted for the door. No one called out for me to stop. No one came after me.

It took all of three seconds for me to decide where I was headed.

I couldn’t stay here. Not while I was fully aware they’d lied and manipulated my heart in order to get what they wanted.

I didn’t care that the world was ending or that the devil was after me for his own nefarious purposes.

At this point, I’d welcome his interference.

At least then, I would have someone else to blame for my misfortune instead of my own foolish heart.

Bursting through the door to Christian’s cottage without so much as a knock, I found the man himself standing at his kitchen counter brewing coffee.

“Merri?” he asked, concern etched through every kind feature. “Why are you crying?”

I reached up and touched my cheeks, surprised when they came away wet. “I... I didn’t realize...”

He rushed over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, ushering me to the sofa. “Here. Sit down. I’ll make you a coffee.”

“I don’t need a coffee. I need...” The words died on my tongue as I processed through what I was about to say.

If I did this, I was putting everything on the line.

I would risk being captured by Lucifer. I’d ruin the plans between the horsemen and Auntie Lilith.

But I knew how to use my power to my benefit now.

I could yank the souls out of bodies and feed on them at will, sort of.

If I did this, I would have to fight for my survival on my own.

But I wasn’t the same girl I’d been when they’d taken me. In just a handful of weeks, I’d learned so much about myself and my abilities. I didn’t need protectors anymore. If I did need protection, it was from them.

I could do this.

I would do this.

For once in my life, the person making decisions about my future was going to be me.

“Merri?”

Christian’s question pulled me back into the moment. My gaze snapped up to meet his concerned one.

“Does that offer to get me out of here still stand?”

“ Oui. Of course.”

“You understand that when they realize you helped me run, you’ll be in danger? They’re more powerful than you know.”

“Let me worry about that.”

“But—”

“ Non, Merri. I will be fine. You’ve taken care of me and worried about me enough. You focus on yourself now. I will deal with whatever fallout comes my way. I’m not completely helpless, you know.”

I attempted to smile, but I don’t think it was very effective because Christian’s eyes swam with concern. Shit. I think I was crying again.

“Do you have a safe place to go?” he prompted.

Lilith and Iniquity flitted to my mind first, but I wasn’t even sure it was still standing.

Besides, that was the first place people would look for me.

I couldn’t go to Blackwood. It was decimated.

I had no idea where Andi was, and now I wished I’d been more receptive to her offer of shelter.

But Cole had given me everything I needed.

He wouldn’t turn me away, and no one would think to look for me with him because hardly anyone knew about him.

They certainly didn’t know the depth of our friendship.

It may not be a long-term solution, but it was a place for me to get my bearings and figure out my next step. That’s all I needed to worry about right now.

What was that saying? How did you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

I didn’t need to have everything figured out; I just needed to focus on my first bite.

“Yeah. I have a place in mind.”

“ Parfait. ”

He turned back to the kitchen and rummaged in a cupboard, muttering to himself the whole time as he searched for what he needed. After a few minutes, he turned around with a bright green orb in his hand. It looked a lot like a bath bomb, if I was being honest.

“What am I supposed to do with that? Drop it in the tub?”

He grinned. “ Non. Take this, and when you are ready, think of where you wish to go. Throw it on the ground and step through the portal, which will open immediately. Et voilà !”

“That sounds surprisingly easy.”

“The best magic always is. Complicated does not mean better. It just means more things can go wrong with far greater cost.”

I accepted the little ball from him, the weight of it on my palm making all of this feel far more real. I looked back at Christian, my lower lip quivering when I realized it might be the last time I’d ever see him.

“One more thing before you leave. The magic will only work outside of the wards on the property. You will have to cross the property line before you can activate the spell.”

“They’ll know.”

“ Oui, but they’re going to figure it out soon enough anyway.”

I released a breath before nodding. “You’re right. So I guess it doesn’t matter. This means so much to me.” Rushing forward, I enveloped him in an embrace. “Thank you, Christian.” The words didn’t feel like enough, but they were all I had.

He let out a little huff of surprise, but his arms wrapped around me momentarily. “Go. Be safe, petite fille. ”

The sentiment was laughable. If only because safe was probably the very last thing I’d ever be again. Especially once they came for me. And they would. I had no doubt.

But it wouldn’t be for love. No, all my silly notions about them loving me were barely more than smoking embers. If I could see my heart, hold it in my hands, all it would be now was a pile of ash waiting to blow away.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were nothing if not dedicated to their calling. I had become that very thing. This time when they came for me, it would be to finish the job they started.