Page 30 of Malice: The Mate Games (Apocalypse #3)

Chapter

Twenty-Three

CHAOS

M y fist connected with the heavy sandbag I’d suspended from a beam in the converted carriage house.

Plumes of dust exploded from the back and sides as the seams threatened to split.

I’d already destroyed three others, their carcasses sitting abandoned on the now sand-covered floor.

Malice wouldn’t be thrilled with the mess, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

A growl ripped from my throat as I let loose another punch that sent the bag flying across the room.

Make that four carcasses.

The whole point of coming down here early was to get Malice off my mind. Namely, who he was with and what they were doing.

Grabbing a fresh bag, I hung it up and got back in place.

There’s no reason to be jealous. It was his turn. She wasn’t choosing him over you.

But what if that’s exactly what happened?

My chest gave a sharp pang, stopping me mid-swing.

I’d never known jealousy like this before.

The only time in my existence I’d been in competition with anyone, it had been battle related.

And that was easily remedied. Didn’t have the skills to get the attention I wanted?

Train harder. So long as I was willing to put in the work, it would eventually pay off.

But Merri wasn’t a commanding officer. She was a woman. If she made up her mind that Malice... or Sin... was who she wanted, there was nothing I could do to sway her. I was at a complete loss, my need for control spinning me into a frenzy I couldn’t rein in.

I was so far up my own ass, I didn’t hear the approaching footsteps.

“Wow, did they insult your mother or something?” Merri asked, inspecting the mess I’d made of the space.

Landing a powerful blow to the center of the sandbag, I heaved a sigh as it split.

That was five.

“You’re late. As usual,” I snapped, turning to face her.

“Ooookay, then. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

It hurt to look at her. She was fresh as a fucking daisy, clearly bursting with power, and its effect on her nearly sent me to my knees. Was it too much to hope for one of her gentle touches? Everyone else seemed to get one.

Another growl escaped me as I scrubbed a hand down my face. I swear to God, I was ready to crawl across this mess of a floor just to kiss the top of her damn shoe.

I fucking hated this. I was not this person. I was a proud Spartan warrior who faced legions without fear. I was the horseman War who could decimate armies with the sweep of my sword. Who knew Merri would be my kryptonite?

Ever since Sin made his declaration yesterday, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. She fucking loved him. How did I stand a chance with her now? I’d lost her just when I realized how much I wanted her.

I was my very own Greek tragedy.

“Helloooo, earth to Chaos. An apocalyptic one, but you know, still earth.” Her smile was so charming, goddamn blue birds might as well flutter around her head like a crown. I half expected music to play with every step she took, or sunshine to burst out of her perfect ass.

“We should start with sparring. You’re out of practice.” Adjusting my stance, I readied the makeshift pad we used for her safety, pulling the modified straps over my forearm and holding it in front of my torso. “Remember the rotation I taught you?”

Merri nodded, tightening her ponytail as she repeated it back to me, “Right, left, right, left hook, and front kick. Then switch.”

I smacked the pad and braced. “Let’s go then. We’re wasting time.”

Her jabs were powerful enough they’d do damage to a human, but nowhere near so strong as to drop a demon.

I worried, as I always did, that if she found herself up against a supernatural creature without us around to help, she’d be a sitting duck.

She needed us with her, and even if she chose Sin or Malice over me, I’d always be there for her.

I’d protect her for the rest of her days while one of them claimed her nights.

Fuck.

Just the thought of not getting to have her in my arms again after her choice was made sent agony ripping through me.

I was so caught up in the thought, I didn’t realize my grip had relaxed and the shield positioning had slipped.

Merri was still focused on herself, like I’d taught her, so it wasn’t until the exploding pain in both my cock and balls that either of us understood what happened.

I crashed to my knees with a garbled, “Motherfucker.”

“Ohmigod! I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

Nausea rolled my stomach as the shield fell and I clutched my throbbing crotch. Everything hurt and I was dying.

“No,” I wheezed, tears blurring my eyes.

“Chaos, I... shit. I didn’t know you dropped your shield. I was just focused on the?—”

“Stop. Talking.” Every word was a chore, but I needed her to stop apologizing for my mistake. She was kneeling next to me at this point, but being upright was more than I could bear, so I curled in on myself and rolled to the side.

“Can I get you something?” she whispered, as if her volume was the issue. “An ice pack, maybe?”

“Just leave me here to die.”

She plopped down on her ass next to me. “Well, that’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

“No.”

Merri laughed. “Aw, come on. I’m sure that isn’t the first time you’ve gotten clocked in the nuts.”

“It’s not any less terrible with repetition, Red. It’s always bad. The worst.”

She ran her fingers through my hair, brushing a lock away from my face. “What can I do?”

“Nothing. I just have to wait it out.”

“Are you sure? I could kiss him better. You know, since I was so mean to him.”

There was a definite twitch of interest, but it only sent another wave of agony through me. “For the love of God, please stop. I can’t?—”

Picking up on my distress, she smothered her laugh. “I really am sorry. I feel terrible. I should have realized you were distracted and pulled the kick.” She bit her lip and studied me, her hand sort of hovering over my head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“My mangled dick?”

She stuck her tongue out at me as I gingerly got to my feet. “Whatever is on your mind?”

“I’m fine.” Holding a hand out, I helped her up before I began walking with slow steps to the end of the room. The best way to get over this kind of injury was to walk it off. Even if it hurt like a sonofabitch.

“You’re clearly not. You’ll barely look at me.”

I gave her a look filled with meaning. “Looking at you hurts.”

A wounded expression crossed her face before her eyes dropped to the hand at my crotch and her eyes widened. “ Oh. Gotcha. Guess I should have gone for the baggy sweats and loose shirt combo instead of this lycra number.”

“Wouldn’t make a difference. You could be wearing a flour sack and I’d still want you.”

Her cheeks went pink, gaze now trained on the floor. How could this beautiful, powerful creature still be shy around any of us? She certainly wasn’t shy around Sin.

“Do you really love him?” I found myself blurting like an absolute idiot.

Her head snapped up. “What?”

Ignoring the dulling pain between my legs, it was nothing compared to what was happening in my chest anyway, I closed the distance between us. “Do. You. Love. Him?”

Confusion sent her brows veeing low over her eyes. “ That’s what this is about?”

“Yes. Because I don’t understand any of it. If you were going to choose him all along, why give me hope? Why teach me what love looks like and show me I am capable of it if you had no intention of choosing me?”

“What are you?—”

“No. I’m not done. Until you, I’d never had any interest in love.

It wasn’t something I considered possible.

Or even important. I was loyal to nothing but my cause.

But then you tumbled into my life and told me about it.

Showed me what loving someone could mean.

Gave me hope for a life I never imagined.

Now it’s the only thing I want for myself.

So I need you to choose me, Merri. If you are going to love anyone, love me .

Don’t abandon what we have for Sin. Let me prove to you we should be together. ”

My heart felt like it was ready to burst out of my chest by the time the words finished falling from my lips.

“Are you done now?” Merri asked, head tilted to the side and expression strangely hard to read.

I ran a hand over the back of my neck. “Um, yeah.”

She moved until she was standing directly in front of me, her hands cupping either side of my face and tugging me down until we were mostly eye level. “Silly warrior. I already have chosen you. I chose all of you when I agreed to stay here and save the world with you.”

Shock ran over my skin like someone had touched me with a live wire. “But... Sin.”

“Yes. I love him.”

“I see,” I rasped, understanding now that she’d never love me the way she did him, but she would still choose us all. I didn’t like it, but if that was all I could have, I’d take it.

“I love Sin. But, Chaos,” she whispered. “Look at me, please?”

I couldn’t deny her, even though my heart ached at the look in her eyes.

There was so much sincerity ringing in her voice when she added, “I love you too.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Generally speaking, I considered myself a fairly intelligent being, but love and all the emotions that came with it were as foreign to me as another planet. Which was why the best I could manage was a strangled “How?”

“What do you mean, how?”

“You said that when you love someone, they become the center of your world. So how can you love more than one person? That’s too many centers. By definition, they’d be in conflict with one another.”

Her lips quirked in a slight smile, but she schooled her expression. “My axis can be whatever I want it to be. Love isn’t finite. There is always room for more of it.”

“So I have to share your heart.” It was a statement because I knew the truth of it.

“Yes.”

“But only with the other three.” I shared everything else with the horsemen, so in a way, it made perfect sense we’d all be in this together. Not just to spite Lucifer, but because we’d chosen each other.

Her lips twitched again. “Well, maybe another one or two.”

“What?” That flame of jealousy sparked again.

“You are trying to get me pregnant, aren’t you? I’ll have to make room in my heart if you’re successful.”

Oh.

An embarrassed flush crept up my cheeks. I couldn’t believe I was jealous of my future child. The gods were laughing at me for my hubris.

“Of course,” I muttered, sliding my palm down until it rested over her lower belly. “Do you think we were successful?”

Glancing down her body, she took a long breath before looking at me again. “It’s too soon to know. I’m sure Daddy Death will tell us as soon as he can.”

“I guess in the meantime, we just keep trying, then.”

She smirked. “Why am I not surprised that’s your suggestion?”

“Because I’m a man who appreciates a good strategy?”

“Uh-huh.”

Merri playfully walked her fingers down my chest, not stopping until she reached my waistband.

“What are you doing, little succubus?”

“Seducing you?”

Humming in approval, I leaned down, even though my cock still ached. I’d push through. I’d fought battles with broken bones and nearly cleaved in two. I could deal with a bruise.

Hooking a finger under her chin, I tipped her head up. “Say it again.”

It only took her a second to catch my meaning. Throwing her arms around my neck, she pressed her body close to mine. “I love you, Chaos.”

Warmth filled my chest, expanding until I was enveloped in its glow. There was no stopping the smile that stretched across my face.

“I love you too, Red.”

She giggled. “You know, you could have just started with that.”

Huffing out my own laugh, I said, “Words are hard.”

“I know. We got there in the end.”

Brushing my lips over hers, I whispered, “Yeah. We did.”