Page 54 of Loving Bad

"I'm going to lie down," I said, wanting some space so I could wallow in my hurt without having to pretend I was fine. Her eyes narrowed at me for a moment before she said, "Okay."

There was no pretending with her. I'd told her what happened with Sin and me. She'd been sympathetic and supportive. I was glad she hadn't told me 'I told you so.' Let's face it, everything that had happened with him she'd warned me about and I hadn't listened. But as crappy as I felt emotionally, I still couldn't bring myself to wish I'd ever met him or experienced the few moments he'd given me.

It was early evening and tomorrow would be my first day back at school since the attack. I was nervous, but having Matthew around would make me feel safer. It had taken my brother two days to get the best bodyguard who was young enough to pass for a college student. My brother had insisted that the bodyguard blend in with students so it wasn't too obvious who he was. He thought it would help the bodyguard protect me better if he was in all the same classes as me, which made sense. Connor had organized it with the college. The police had no leads on who my attacker was. The college had tightened up security and everyone—especially the girls—was told to be careful.

The fact that the bodyguard was going to be around me so much, my brother said it would be easier to tell people he was a friend of the family's then to try to explain who he really was. Jordan had also agreed not to reveal who Matthew really was. I'd agreed to it. I wasn't going to fight my brother on any of it. After our initial heated argument, he'd agreed to stop fighting with me about staying as long as I agreed to the measures he put into place to keep me safe. One was the new flat, two was the bodyguard and three was the daily phone calls that he would be making to make sure I was okay.

I went into my room. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Sin's face the last time I saw him. He'd been so indifferent that it had hurt. It was like the connection we'd made by being physically closer was gone. I didn't feel anger toward him. He'd been clear when we'd started the arrangement that when we were finished we walked away without any feelings and carried on.

The problem was I'd developed feelings. I still felt badly that he'd opened up to me and I hadn't been able to do the same. Even now, given a second chance, I still wouldn't tell him anything.

My headache got worse so I got up and went looking for headache tablets in the kitchen. The aroma that hit me when I stepped out of my room made my stomach grumble. I hadn't been eating much, but at that moment I was ravenous.

Jordan was talking to Matthew while he cooked.

"Was that part of the requirement?" I asked as I joined them. Matthew turned to flash that deadly smile at me as he switched off the stove.

"No, it's a perk," he quipped then he turned to place the steaks on three plates.

"Good, because the two of us are pretty useless in the kitchen," Jordan said as she began to dish up a salad onto the plates.

"Then I'll be the one cooking," he stated. Some people would say it was relaxing and that they enjoyed it, but I hated it so it wasn't surprising I couldn't cook much.

"It smells good," I said as I reached in the cupboard for the headache tablets.

"I promise it will taste better," he assured me.

I'd had my reservations about the bodyguard staying in the apartment with us, but Matthew seemed to fit in well.

The next morning my mouth dropped open when I bumped into Matthew in the kitchen. Gone was the formal suit and in its place were faded jeans and some heavy metal band brand on a black shirt. The transformation in Matthew was astounding. He looked like a laid-back surfer guy and all that was missing was the surfboard. His long hair and deep tan added to the look.

"So what do you think?" he asked with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

"You undercover?" I asked as a grin spread across my face. He was just so easy to be around and most of the time he was funny. He was so different from Sin.

Sin. I still felt that pain in my chest and got short of breath when I thought of him. It felt like someone had sucker-punched me and I hated the physical effect he had on me. It had been four days since the last time I'd seen him.

"Yes," he replied indignantly. "So, do you think I'll blend in?"

"Yes," I said, still smiling.

"Good," he said. "The last thing I want to do is stand out."

He would still stick out because he was going to turn heads wherever he went. I was going to have to put up with a lot of jealous looks.

"Come on, surfer dude," I told him as I picked up my bag and walked to the front door.

I'd always imagined that having a bodyguard entailed a bulky guy who looked something like the secret service following closely behind me. I'd never imagined a hot, laid-back guy who looked like he couldn't tackle a tree. I was apprehensive by the time we made it to college. It had been just a ten-minute walk from the flat. Connor had made sure the apartment was close to college.

I was feeling fearful and apprehensive at the same time. My eyes scanned the features of every male student who walked past me. I couldn't help studying them briefly, trying to figure out if I recognized anything.

A hand briefly touched my lower back.

"I won't let anything happen to you," Matthew whispered to me. I glanced at him and he gave me a reassuring smile. There was no hiding the fear that I felt and he'd seen it.