Page 102 of Loving Bad

"I never thought I'd ever want more, but I do with you."

"It scares me," I admitted. I loved him so much and I couldn't help but feel nervous about starting something more with him.

He'd never dated a girl before. I believed it was why he went through girls like he had, because he struggled to form emotional attachments with them. He'd never done more than one-night stands and I wasn't sure if he would be able to do the whole monogamy thing with me. I was scared to love someone who had no idea how to love me back.

"Don't be scared," he soothed. "The way I feel about you is nothing like I've ever felt before."

As nervous as I was, I felt my heart inflate at his beautiful words.

"When I heard that you'd been taken, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest," he admitted and I felt the pain in his words. "I've never been so scared in my life."

That really meant something to me. He hadn't had an easy road and I'm sure he had plenty of really scary moments in his life, but the thought of losing me had been his worst.

"I never want to feel that again," he added as he pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "I felt so guilty that I'd left you and then you went missing."

"There was nothing you could’ve done to stop Eric."

I knew telling him that wouldn't erase the guilt he felt, but I still needed him to know.

"Maybe...maybe not."

He wasn't convinced by my words.

At that moment I felt so much happiness. He'd hurt me more than once, but I was willing to put my heart on the line for him again because I knew it would be so worth it if everything worked out.

"I won't lie—I have no idea how to do this, but I promise to try to do everything I can to make you happy," he promised me as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close.

"When I first saw you, I never imagined we would end up where we are now," I said, looking back at our journey to get to where we were.

He pulled away and looked at me.

"From the first time I saw you, I knew there was something different about you," he revealed as he held my face on either side.

"Really?" I asked. I thought he hadn't even really known I'd existed at that point.

"Yes," he assured me. "And then you came to see me, wanting me to 'take advantage' of you."

He smirked at me and I blushed. I still couldn't believe I'd had the courage to do what I'd done.

"But why did you turn me down?" I asked, still feeling the sting of his initial rejection.

"You were so innocent," he explained as he trailed his knuckles down my face. "And I wasn't. You deserved so much better than me."

I shook my head at him.

"I'm so glad you were my first," I said to him.

"I tried to do the right thing—I really did—but I couldn't stop thinking about you," he revealed. "And then I saw you drinking with Slater and I couldn't handle seeing you with someone else."

"You were jealous?" He smiled and nodded his head.

"I think I was and then I knew that, even though you deserved better, I couldn't let you go," he said softly. "I couldn't stand the thought of you being with someone else. I knew I would have to step up and give you what you wanted or I would lose you."

I was so happy listening to him talk about how much I'd affected him when I'd thought we were nothing more than a one-night stand. Listening to him reveal his feelings made me understand some of his actions.

"And then after our night together?" I prompted.

"One night with you was never going to be enough," he stated. "I was always going to want more."