Page 53 of Loss and Damages

Jemma

When we make love, he wears a condom, saying he wants the first year or two of our marriage to belong only to us. He whispered plans of a long honeymoon and house hunting, and simply spending time together before we add to our family.

The sky’s dark by the time we’re settled in bed, a bottle of wine and two glasses sitting on the nightstand next to his side. My head is resting on his chest, and his fingers lazily trace my spine, up and down, up and down.

“I’m sorry about your dad,” I say, pressing my lips to his hot skin.

“He made his choice, but I don’t think what I did came as that big of a surprise. When he signed the company over to me, he already had the papers drawn up. He’d been planning to go, I don’t know for how long, but he had. I just gave him the excuse he needed to leave.”

I tip my head to meet his eyes. “It still has to hurt.”

“No more than knowing he used his affection to further the company. The biggest loss is the relationship I could have had with Leo all because my mother was in love with another man.” He pauses. “I went through his work computer, and I found something.”

I sit up and cover myself with the sheet. He passes my glass of wine to me and I sip. “What?”

“He wanted us to be together.”

Dominic goes on to explain what he found in Leo’s email.

“But he didn’t send it to you.”

“No. I don’t know why. Maybe he knew I wasn’t ready, just like you knew. If he would have introduced me to you when he’d written that email, or if he would have taken you to the fundraiser—”

My eyes widen. “That’s why he asked me to go. I was so confused. It didn’t seem like something he would attend, and then to invite me when he knew that was beyond what our friendship was...”

“I didn’t think of it until I was reading his email, but even if he would have introduced us then, I didn’t care about anything but money and Dad’s approval and I would have thrown this away.

I like to think there would have been a day when I’d have changed on my own, but Jemma, I know there wouldn’t have been.

Nothing could have changed me but Leo’s death and meeting you. ” Tears fill his eyes.

It will be a long while before Leo’s memory turns more sweet than bitter.

So much has tainted his death, and for Dominic, guilt and regret still follow.

All I can do is be there, support him, and listen.

I don’t blame him for Leo’s death and I’ll tell him, in some way, every day, until he believes it too.

I lean forward and gently kiss him, his scruff rough against my skin. “Then he’ll be happy, wherever he is, that we found each other after all.”

Dominic dozes, emotionally exhausted, and I pull the comforter up, kiss his cheek, and brush my fingers through his hair.

My time in Grandma Darcie’s cottage is ending. In some ways I’m sad, but the next few months will be full of exciting changes and I’m filled with a nervous anticipation. I look forward to it all, secure in Dominic’s love.

So many amazing things await because Leo wanted to sell his paintings in a gallery, and he chose mine.