Page 21 of Loss and Damages

He holds the wineglass but doesn’t lift it to his lips.

He rests it on his thigh, his large hand wrapped around the delicate glass.

For lack of anything else, I sit next to him and sip the buttery wine to calm my nerves.

Dominic still scares me. The raw power he exudes threatens to stifle me.

That he’s injured is worse, like a wounded lion prepared to strike out in self-defense.

“Later, perhaps. I’m sorry. I didn’t have anywhere else to stay. If you don’t want me here, you should say so and after the pain pill kicks in, I’ll go.”

“You can’t drive like this. You’re welcome to spend as much time here as you need, but I have to open the gallery tomorrow at noon. The only company you’ll have is Netflix.”

He scoffs. “I’ll make do.” Meeting my eyes, he says, “Thank you.”

“Will you tell me what happened?”

“You can watch every second in gory detail online. I thought I’d answer some questions, and that’s how I’m treated.”

“Why do you want to purchase the 1100 block anyway? You already own half of St. Charlotte. Why is the 1100 block so special?”

“Besides the fact I’m working like hell to get it?” Dominic sips his wine, a gulp, really, and melts further into my couch, pain oozing out of him as the pill starts to work.

“Is that it? The challenge? Leo never understood your ambition.”

His eyes drift shut. “Are you being polite, Jemma? You don’t have to be. You can call me an asshole just like everyone else.”

“I’m not going to call you that because I don’t think you are.”

He cracks an eye open. “Then you’re the only one.”

“Leo loved you, but he wanted you to do business differently.”

“We all want things we can’t have. Were you in love with my brother, Jemma? But he didn’t return your feelings and you spent time with him taking what you could?” He glares, daring me to tell him the truth.

He wants to start a fight but I won’t let him.

I lean into the couch, positioning my legs between us, my toes brushing his knee. “I wasn’t in love with Leo. What about you? You’ve never fallen in love? You’ve never given your heart to someone?”

He finishes his wine and holds out the glass. “Will you pour me more? I’m afraid if I try to stand I’ll fall over.”

“Answer the question and I’ll pour you a bit more. Then you should rest. The couch won’t be comfortable with your arm like that. You can sleep in my bed.”

“With you?”

He’s too hurt to try anything, and last night he proved he could be a gentleman. “If you’d like.”

“Your trust in me is stupid.”

“You trust me, or you wouldn’t have come out here hurt. You wouldn’t have been able to drive back to the city, not with how you’re feeling.”

His jaw tightens.

“You’re tired. Another half a glass, then you should rest.”

“What about your question?”

“Dominic, if you’ve had your heart broken, maybe it’s best I don’t know.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not the one who will fix it. Be right back.”

I pour wine into his glass but he’s barely awake enough to drink it and I leave it on the counter. Nudging the shoulder of his arm that’s not injured, I say, “Come on, it’s time to get you to bed.”

He staggers to his feet, leaning on me, and I need all my strength to keep him upright. What with the pain pill, the booze, and how tired he is, it’s a miracle he can stumble down the hallway to the bedroom without falling flat on his face. He drops onto my bed.

“Do you need help getting undressed?”

“No. I have movement in my arm. The sling eases the pressure, that’s all.”

“Okay. The bathroom’s through there, and, ah, you can use my toothbrush if you want to brush your teeth. I don’t ever have visitors that spend the night and Leo, never, well, you know. If you need anything else, I’ll be in the kitchen. I have a few things I have to do before I go to bed.”

Instead of scurrying away like the coward I am, I kneel at his feet and pull off his shoes.

He settles on the bed wearing his clothes and he’s snoring by the time I reach the bedroom door.

I fill his empty water glass and set another pain pill on the nightstand in case he wakes in the middle of the night in pain.

I thought I’d feel insulted that he came to me, freely admitting he had nowhere else to go, but I’m strangely proud that despite his confession, he chose me.

There’s no doubt in my mind that Dominic Milano has a little black book that’s not so little and any woman on any page would have sold her soul to have him pass out in her bed.

He has plenty of places to go, but he wasn’t lying when he told me he didn’t.

What he meant was he didn’t have anyone he could ask for help who cared.

And the fact that he could see I did is very, very troubling.

I try to do what I normally do on a Saturday evening. I put in a load of clothes and towels hoping Dominic will sleep through the spin cycle, and I carry a glass of wine out to the porch and watch the sun dip below the horizon as the lake ripples in the light breeze.

Gloria hasn’t been by for the past couple of days, and I’m grateful for the peace and quiet but a little worried, too.

I haven’t visited her shop in some time and I should one of these days to see if she’s made any changes.

It’s difficult to find a few minutes when our stores are open the same hours and up until Leo’s death, he’d taken all my spare time.

It’s a little disconcerting that the second Leo passed away Dominic stepped into his place, but it won’t last. He’s dealing with the loss the only way he knows how.

..by spending time with someone who also cared about Leo.

I can’t let myself get too comfortable. He’ll disappear into the pages of his business deals and little black book, and I’ll be left facing another loss all over again.

I have a lot of sympathy for Dominic but that’s all it can be.

To distance myself, I spend the rest of the night in my workshop finishing a decorative serving platter and listening to the music Leo preferred when he painted.

I can’t let his death distract me from my work.

I had a good sales day today and if I don’t start putting in serious time, I’m going to run low. That’s never a good thing.

Because I can sleep in, I spend more time than usual in my workshop, and I don’t stop until after one in the morning. The cottage is quiet when I let myself in, and Dominic is right where I left him, dressed and lightly snoring, his lips parted, the side of his face pressed into the pillow.

If we were together, I could ease onto the bed, kiss along his jaw, his stubble scratching my skin.

Maybe I’d rouse him enough he would cover my mouth with his, roll me onto my back, and press one long leg between my thighs.

Even hurt, I bet he could knock a woman senseless, his fingers alone skilled at bringing her to orgasm in record time.

It’s been a long while since I’ve been with someone, and my nipples harden, but intimacy between Dominic and me would be meaningless and I’m getting old enough that I want more.

Sex is lovely, but have you ever fell heart-shatteringly, irrevocably in love?

I can’t say that I have, but I’d like to. Some day.

I change out of the sundress I wore all day into a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top. While I brush my teeth, I straighten the living room and get the coffeemaker ready to brew in the morning.

The couch calls to me and it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve fallen asleep in the living room rather than stumbling half-awake to my bed, but if Dominic caught me sleeping out here, he’d accuse me of lying. I don’t mind sharing my bed and I wouldn’t have offered if I did.

I turn the lights off and crawl into bed. We fit easily on my queen mattress, but one wrong (or right) move on my part will put us closer than we need to be. Dominic’s stuck on his back. Because of his injured arm, I doubt he could tolerate rolling over, even if he wanted to cuddle.

Get a hold of yourself and fall asleep , I tell myself, lying on my side and keeping as much space between us as possible.

It’ll be fine. He’s out cold. I have other things to worry about.

Like what Gloria will do if she stops by in the morning.

She always does on Sundays, and if she tells my mom that Dominic was here, my brother will find out before lunchtime.

Jeremy can’t fault me for being nice. What was I going to do? Tell him to go home? I couldn’t do that, no matter who it was.

I turn over to my other side. The moonlight streaming through the window highlights his face and I give in, lightly skimming my fingers over his jaw.

He’s gorgeous, and his features that are so like Leo’s tug at my heart.

I’d like to talk to Athena again. I want to know why she loved Leo and not his brother.

She told me only half the story and I want to know all of it.

Something happened that made her love Leo more.

Something that Dominic shouldn’t have to pay for.

But he did, with his childhood, with his trust in people.

He’s had his heart broken, that much is true, but it wasn’t broken by a lover, his mother had broken it the second he realized she would never love him.

I rub my thumb over his bottom lip.

This is exactly why I shouldn’t sleep with him.

I roll off the edge of the bed and pad into the living room.

It doesn’t matter what Dominic thinks of me or my decisions.

It’s not a good idea to share parts of my life, no matter how small, the way I did with Leo.

In the year we were friends, Leo didn’t introduce me to his family.

There was a reason for that. A reason I don’t know, but he didn’t do anything without a good explanation and I should respect that.

Lying on the couch, I try to get comfortable, wiggling a pillow under my head, but I feel too guilty to fall asleep.

I don’t owe Dominic anything. I don’t owe him a place to recuperate, or a glass of wine, even if he bought it.

Hell, I don’t even owe him breakfast in the morning or a cup of coffee.

I don’t owe him a single thing, and I hold firm with that belief until he looks at me with those dark, wounded eyes and I give in like I would if I saw a starving dog sitting on the side of the road.

I can’t get comfortable on the couch, and I toss the throw blanket off and crawl back into my bed. Dominic hasn’t moved, but this time I refrain from caressing his face. I turn away and too tired to be angry, about what, I don’t even know, let his gentle snores lull me to sleep.