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Liam

A dult men didn’t pout when their mom didn’t drive them to the airport.

That’s what I had to tell myself when I walked into my house and found Dad waiting for me instead of Mom. I ran through the whole conversation I’d had with her the day before and in hindsight, she never said that she would drive me to the airport, just that one of them would and I had hoped that it would be her.

But of course, this was being used as an opportunity.

And so, I didn’t pout when Dad waved the keys in front of him with a half-smile and a clap on my right shoulder, but it was a close call.

I did, however, send Lenny a message as I pushed the seat back and settled in the car.

Dad’s driving me to the airport…

I’ll remind you once more, you made the right call. Imagine how annoying I would be about your shoulder if you were still getting slammed into boards ;)

No bookcases :(

Actually you might get off lucky, I would feel like I would have to do all the work to avoid undue stress on it, can you imagine how tired I would be?

I do like you on top ;)

I need to remind you that are in the car with your dad, please do not be thinking such things, you’re easily excitable

What does it say about me that I think I would rather you do your utmost to excite me while I’m in a car with him than talk to him?

It says that your dad has been less than supportive of your choices now that you’re off the ice and maybe you need to let him know that and then fly away from the aftermath

I hate it when you’ re right

You must hate me often…

Never as much as I love you

There was a pause before she replied, and I smiled to myself at the image of her debating just how to respond.

I’d say that I love you more but I think you might be more interested to hear that I stole your shirt from that suit you wore the other day and wore it to work…

I’m also hoping that your brain has short circuited with the image so much that you don’t call me out on the fact that I’m working this morning. Good luck! See you later XX

“That Alana?” Dad’s voice cut through my bubble, and I locked my phone, trying not to think about anything that Lenny had just sent me, even if she had said she loved me more.

“Yeah, she’s just letting me know that she is at work now,” I replied.

“High demand for baked goods at this time of year?”

“Well, yeah, it’s the holiday season. There is a lot more demand for baked goods at this time of year,” I replied, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice and failing miserably.

“And yet she took the time off?”

“Is she not entitled to take a vacation? She runs a successful business; they can run things without her there. So yes, she took time off for the first time in years. I imagine she’s only working now because everyone she hangs out with loves her bakery and she didn’t want to just sit around when she could be helping out.”

Teddy and the team were back in Detroit and there was no way he wasn’t getting a trip to Sweet Nothing in the moment he could. He was probably also desperate for a debrief from Lenny’s perspective.

“She’s got a good work ethic,” he said. It sounded…pointed.

“She does, but she might not have a good balance,” I said, calmly.

“You qualified to comment on that?” He scoffed.

I shifted my body to face him. “Meaning?”

“You went from one extreme to the next, are you sure that you can comment on balance?”

“I didn’t say that I could. But I notice you had no issue with one extreme but seem to take issue with the other.”

His hands tightened around the steering wheel. I took a deep breath and braced for impact.

“You worked so hard for your career and then you gave it all up for a nothing injury. How can you be so okay with that?” He sounded almost pained, like the injury and the retirement, my entire career, had been his to lose.

“It wasn’t a nothing injury though, Dad. It was a direct hit on an injury that has been with me for half my life. It was weeks of rehab on a body that was already tired after giving a physical sport so much of me. It was having to, once again, modify the way I handle a stick to try and protect my shoulder. It was knowing deep down that I was lucky to not have had worse happen to me and realising that by that point, I was tempting fate to take me out in a worse way, which would have ended my career anyway. It was the chance to leave the sport that I love and that has given me so much on my terms. Why is that so hard for you to accept?”

There was a pause. A silence that seemed to go on for minutes rather than seconds.

“Because it doesn’t seem like you. This time last year, you were talking about all the things that you had left to achieve with your career. You were so excited, and then five months later, you just gave it up? That doesn’t make any sense.”

I nodded my head once and pressed my lips together knowing that I was probably going to regret my next question, but Lenny had been right about one thing. I needed to let him know how his attitude since April had been making me feel and this was the way into it.

“Why don’t you just ask the question that you actually want to ask?”

“Fine. Did Alana ask you to retire? She was never overly happy about you playing hockey and she left because of it. Was it a condition of this out-of-the-blue relationship of yours?”

It was my turn to scoff now. I didn’t quite know what to think about the fact that my dad thought Lenny had that much power over me, and that I was incapable of retiring simply because it was best for me, but that wasn’t the real issue here. Had he always disliked Alana that much? He had seemed happy that she wasn’t my prom date and wasn’t the most sympathetic to how I felt in the days after she left. In fact, more than once, he told me it was probably for the best. It didn’t feel like it was at the time, but I’d meant what I said to Lenny. We had lived the lives we were supposed to live, and we were better off for it.

“Firstly, we hadn’t even reconnected by April, so she had no input on my decision. Secondly, Alana was fine with me playing hockey, what she wasn’t happy with was me putting all my eggs in that basket. But she did ice time with me, she came to the games that she could, she sat in that ice rink and waited for me on days she didn’t have after-school clubs. So, she was supportive of my potential career path and if she hadn’t left, I am certain she would have continued to be supportive. Thirdly, you’ve got a lot of nerve telling me that this relationship is out of the blue when she was pretty much the only thing I made time for outside of hockey and school when we were teenagers.”

“You became more focused when she left.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Because she left! It was because of her that I even still had hockey. She was the one who supported me through the bulk of the emotional turmoil of rehab when I tore my rotator cuff. She was the one who consistently reminded me that I was still a person if I wasn’t a hockey player. She was the reason I took my time with the whole thing and got back on that ice stronger than ever. So when she left, I became more focused on it because I had two things in high school and they were my hockey team and her.

“And let’s not pretend that even if I was the most focused person in the world, luck played a big part in everything as well. I was lucky that I managed to transfer my college ability to the big leagues. I was lucky that I got to play for the teams I played for. I was lucky to make the Olympic team. I was even lucky enough to win the Stanley Cup. I gave it everything I had for eight years, and I ran out of steam. And here’s something I don’t think you want to hear, even though it has no bearing on your life, Alana would never have asked me to quit while I still loved it, but if she came back into my life while I was still playing, I probably would have given it all up anyway. Because if I had her, after all this time, I wouldn’t have wanted to spend weeks on the road when I could have been with her.”

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down.

“You were managing to make it work with Mel,” he started quietly, a tremor of anger still present in his voice. “Why would Alana have been any different? Why would you have given it all up for that girl?”

My jaw clenched at the way he referred to Lenny, but I took a deep breath and let it go.

“I think deep down I always knew that Mel loved me because I was a hockey player. She loved what came with that. The galas, the money, the travel. She loved the glam and the status of it all. The moment she caught onto the fact that I was going to give that all up, she wanted out. I don’t blame her for it. I just wish maybe I’d been stronger and ended it before it got to that point. And retiring isn’t giving up Dad, it’s ending a career on my terms. Now I have Alana to support me while I continue to figure out what the hell I want to do next.”

“Which is what? Wait on her hand and foot,” he scoffed.

“Dad, you can be mean and try to belittle my career choices all you want. You hold that grudge against me for all that it’s worth, I don’t care anymore. But what you will not do is disrespect Alana. If she needs someone to sometimes take care of her and the life admin parts of her day because she is busy running a very successful business, for which she is the head baker, then I am happy to do that for her. You can also stop making sly remarks about the fact that she left because you know what? Eighteen-year-olds make all kinds of decisions that are sometimes bad and are sometimes great. Neither of us would be the people that we are if she hadn’t left, and I think we both like the people that we are now. So even though it sucked and took me the better part of my freshman year to get over, I think she made the right decision. I forgive her and we now get to venture down a road not taken. If that road means I have to support her by making her fucking dinner, then I will because you know who supported me when it looked like my hockey career might have been over before it began? Alana.”

He turned into the drop-off area of the airport and brought the car to a stop.

“Your mother and I supported you then as well.”

“Yeah, Mom did. But you pushed for me to get back on the ice then as well. You made me feel like I was going crazy for choosing to respect the rehab process in its entirety. It has always felt like you wanted to live vicariously through me, which I’ve never really understood because you didn’t even play sports.”

“I never had the talent for it. The moment you stepped on the ice, it was clear that you were made for it. I just wanted you to reach your full potential.”

“I did, and I’m done now. If you can’t accept that, then we have nothing left to say to each other because my professional career is over and I’m moving on. Thanks for the lift.”

I unlocked my car door and got out, walking around to the trunk and getting my bag out. I didn’t turn around once as I walked into the airport.

I did, however, look at my phone, and waiting for me was a photo of Lenny who, sure enough, was wearing my shirt, which looked crisper against her brown skin. It was tucked into a pair of jeans as she leant against a counter, the Sweet Nothing logo a neon purple blaze behind her.

T-minus four hours until I saw her again.