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41

Alana

D etroit felt cold.

It wasn’t necessarily colder than New York, but it felt that way. The whole journey back had felt different. It wasn’t the first time I’d landed in this airport alone. It wouldn’t be the first time I walked into an empty apartment. It definitely wasn’t the first time I had been in this city on my own, yet while I sat on the plane and waited for the seatbelt sign to go off, I felt off. Unsettled.

It wasn’t until I was waiting for my suitcase to arrive that I realised what I was feeling.

Homesick. Which made no sense because I was home.

Except I wasn’t. As I waited for my suitcase to come, I pulled out my phone and opened my messages to Liam.

Landed! X

His reply was immediate.

Yay! Quick q do you think your parents would let me sleep in your bed if you’re not here?

Aw, you worried you won’t be able to sleep in your own bed? ;)

Yes. Plus your mattress has already moulded to my body. You want me to sleep on a lumpy mattress and sleep poorly? Spoiler alert, I am no better on minimal sleep than I was as a teenager. You want me to fly home to you grumpy?

The ache in my chest was already easing as I pulled my case off the carousel and started heading to the taxi bay.

I always liked it when you were grumpy. You have a great pout. It’s cute.

Don’t think you’ve ever called me cute before.

I probably hadn’t. Not to his face, anyway. He’d been ‘this cute boy’ in many a story I told about him back in college. ‘Cute’ lets you get away with a lot of things. People were fine with ‘cute’. But you were playing with fire the moment you called a guy ‘hot’ in a conversation. People then wanted details on the hot guy, and I didn’t want to give people details about Liam. The details were mine.

Well you are. And my parents will be fine with it. At least one of us should have a good night’s sleep tonight.

Aw, you worried you won’t be able to sleep in your bed now you’ve gotten used to the one you grew up with? ;)

I wanted to say that I missed him, but only a few hours had passed since he dropped me off at the airport and saying that I missed him already sounded ridiculous. Then I realised ridiculous didn’t exist with Liam. He wanted it all. He loved it all.

Not quite. My bed is fine, it’s more the lack of you and your radiator tendencies. I am worried that I won’t fall asleep at all without it. You could almost say that I’m worried I might miss you…

Oh I forgot we were texting and so you would be more prone to being sweet. In that case, I’m not worried about my lumpy mattress, I slept in that bed a couple of months ago, it was fine. Your bed smells like you and I don’t know how I’m supposed to sleep without being surrounded by the smell of vanilla and silk brushing my cheek.

I just about managed to stop myself from ‘awwing’ out loud as another message came in.

Yes, you left your pillowcase here. Yes, I will bring it with me.

Thanks

“You’re making a face at your phone that can only be described as sickening,” I heard a familiar voice say as soon as I got outside. It was one that I wasn’t expecting to hear this soon, but welcomed, nonetheless.

“Hello to you too, Maxine,” I said, turning to look at Maxxy as she came to stand next to me. I sent a final text to Liam, letting him know I was with Maxxy and would probably be quiet for the rest of the day, before putting my phone in my coat pocket.

“Hello, Len?” Her eyebrows drew together as she tried the name out.

“Don’t,” I said, although I knew she was going to ask for an explanation. She tried for so long to give me a nickname and I vetoed every single one.

“I just find it interesting that in all our years of friendship, you never once mentioned that you had one of the most attractive men I have ever seen tucked away in your brain as a former best friend who had his own little nickname for you.”

“If you remember correctly, when we met, I was trying to get over someone. Why would I give you that much detail? You would have used it against me or worse, used logic as to why I should give it a go. Especially when said man moved to our city.”

“And I may never forgive you for not telling me the person you were trying to get over was Liam. Mulligan. Even at a college level, he was touted as one of the best in the sport. It’s not like I would have told anyone. I also probably wouldn’t have told you to give it a go back in college. Athletes don’t have the best of reputations, and I wouldn’t have wanted you to be heartbroken by him twice. But you’re right. The moment he moved to Detroit, I would have made it my mission to get you two together.”

I shook my head. “Which would have been a disaster.”

“I’m not mad at you. I understand why you did it. But I now know, so come on, give me something . How come he gets to give you a nickname and no one else does?”

“Aaron calls me Ally,” I pointed out. He did it because he knew I hated nicknames and wanted to be annoying. It was a source of great annoyance for him when it stopped bugging me but by that point, he was out of the habit of using my full name and still hasn’t managed to give it up.

“Doesn’t count, he’s your brother. Siblings get away with murder.”

A fair point.

“So do people who have known you since you were four. I don’t know how it started; I think he misheard my name when we met. I didn’t hate it, so he has always gotten away with it. I need to stress it is only him who gets away with it. Don’t think you’ve got a fun new name to call me. My name is still Alana.”

“Fine, I won’t. But please explain what the hell has happened in the last two weeks that means you’ve got an old nickname back?” she asked as she started leading us out of the airport.

“Honestly? He bumped into me at the airport and made a wild suggestion that we pretend we had started dating so that my parents wouldn’t ask me any questions about Kai. And his parents, mostly his dad, wouldn’t keep asking him about his career or lack thereof or his relationship ending.”

“If it was pretend, then what happened? Seems like you’re in it now.”

“What happened, Maxine, is that we dated. He took me on dates and bought me hot chocolate. He kept taking my hand and not letting go. He made sure I slept and fuck, I slept so well in his arms. Then there was the sex.” I could hear that I sounded wistful. Over sex, of all things. The thing that up until recently, I didn’t think could be better than a warm chocolate chip cookie.

“Oh, are we talking about your sex life now?” Maxxy teased. I had always been tight-lipped about my sex life, mostly because there wasn’t ever anything to write home about.

“Not really. But it is more satisfying than it was. Enough about me, though. How was your Christmas?”

Maxxy fell quiet. The kind of quiet that was very out of character for her.

“Max?” I asked as she unlocked her car.

“I was in Boston.”

“Did you travel with the team?” That was unusual for Maxxy; she didn’t need to be with the team during away games. Especially not an away game that fell over the holidays where her advice was basically ‘have fun’.

“Kind of?”

“I thought you were going to your sister’s. How did you end up in Boston?”

“Jo got a stomach bug on the twenty-third, so I didn’t go. So, I went to Sweet Nothing to drown myself in panettone, you nailed that recipe this year, by the way, and Teddy came in. He overheard me complaining about the fact that I was going to have to spend Christmas alone and he—”

“Invited you to spend Christmas with him. In Boston?”

“Yeah, kind of.” She shrugged.

“It’s either yes or no.”

“Then yes, I spent Christmas with Teddy. And his family.”

Now it was my turn to be speechless.

“And…how was that?” I eventually said.

“Really nice, actually. His family is cool. Super welcoming and they are all so proud of him, which was nice to be around.”

“Yeah, the Carters are great. They can be a bit overwhelming at times, especially because Teddy in isolation really doesn’t give you an idea of what the whole family is like.” I laughed. I knew the Carters well and spending even an hour with them taught me everything I needed to know about where Teddy got his patience from. And his ruthlessness on the ice. He needed to get it out somehow.

“Of course, this is why you have always been buddy buddy with Teddy. If you knew Liam, then you also knew Teddy because they played together in high school. I could never figure that one out and I didn’t want to ask in case you said something wild like you used to hook up.” I noticed that there was a tone to her voice, it sounded like jealousy.

“Funny how that worked for them though,” she continued. “Besties who dominated together in their youth finishing it out together.”

“Not quite together. Teddy still plays.” I pointed out. Maxxy was quiet again. Only this time, she was acting shifty.

“What do you know?” I asked. Liam hadn’t mentioned anything about Teddy retiring.

“It started when those pictures of you and Liam walking around the city ended up in some articles. Have I said to your face that you two make a cute couple? And when I say cute, I mean very attractive and very tall and it’s cute that you share clothes.” She flicked her gaze to me briefly.

I smiled.

“It’s his sweater,” I said. I could see the confusion flicker across her face.

“But you’ve had it for years?”

“Yeah, I stole it from him. It wasn’t intentional. Or maybe it was, I don’t know. But it was his first.”

“And he took it back?”

He hadn’t. It was in my suitcase. Liam had made a huge show of putting it in there, talking about how he was doing me a massive favour by giving up his favourite sweater once again. Like I wasn’t very aware that it made him quietly feral seeing me in his clothes.

“Not exactly,” I said. I smiled again.

“Oh no. I’ve seen you in love before, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in love like this,” Maxxy said.

I laughed. “What are you talking about?”

“Just the way you love Liam is very different to the way you loved Kai. You seem lighter. Happier. The kind of happy that has you smiling at your phone and basking in memories that make you look like you’re glowing. It’s nice. I’m happy for you.”

“You were saying something about Teddy?” I prompted, keen to stop talking about myself.

“Oh yeah, he saw those photos of you two and it got him thinking. Liam sounded really happy when Teddy talked to him, and he looked it too. And if he hadn’t had the time to go home for Christmas this year, then he wouldn’t have bumped into you and you two wouldn’t be together, being all happy and shit. And he only had the time to do that because he retired. I couldn’t help but think when I saw the photos that if he hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have left your parents’ house for nearly a fortnight.”

“I would have gone outside. Why does everyone think I never want to leave the house?” I asked incredulously.

“You wouldn’t have gone ice skating. Or gone to see the lights in the city. Or held hands while you walked around. You wouldn’t have passively engaged with Christmas in New York, which is such a New Yorker way of doing things, but I guess that sums you up. I think Liam made you engage . So, you may have gone outside but you wouldn’t have gone outside .”

I hated that she had a point.

“What does this have to do with Teddy?”

“I think it made him a bit sad. This is the first season he’s played knowing Liam isn’t ever coming back. Even when they were on different teams, they still had that shared thing that meant they were both still on the ice and doing what they did best. When Liam joined Detroit, it was like no time had passed and they fell straight back in with each other, it was impressive. But Liam’s gone now and getting to fuck around and fall in love over Christmas like he’s in some kind of Hallmark movie—” Maxxy cut herself off by bursting into laughter. I let her cackle herself back to normality.

“Sorry, I just tried to imagine you in a Hallmark movie, full of pep and cheer trying to get your small-town lover to fall in love with the magic of Christmas or some shit and couldn’t do it. It really should work because you’re a baker; they love bakers in those things, but you are just not the pep and cheer kind of girl. How you managed to fake it as a cheerleader for so long might remain one of life’s great mysteries.”

“Liam would be the one full of pep and cheer, trying to get the grumpy baker to believe in the magic she sells in the form of candy cane shaped cookies and gingerbread houses,” I said, which prompted more laughter from Maxxy.

“Have you been thinking about this a lot? That came way too easily for you. And highlighted that you have clearly seen a side to Liam Mulligan that no one else has because pep and cheer are not words I would associate with him either.”

“I haven’t thought about it at all until this very moment, but some things just make sense when you think about them. And if we’re talking Hallmark pep and cheer then no, that doesn’t exist within him, but he is the more likely of the two of us to find it within himself. My already limited reserves of the stuff were poured into being a cheerleader, that’s how I did it for so long. Now, back to Teddy.”

“There isn’t much else to say about him. I think he misses his friend out on the ice and it’s hitting him that he is closer to the end of his career than the beginning of it.”

“And is that all that happened while you were in Boston?” It still felt like there was something that she wasn’t telling me.

“Yeah, it is. Ate a lot of food and now I’m back here with you to pull together the best end-of-year sendoff we can.”

“Alright, let’s go to mine and hash out a proper plan of action.”

Maxxy cheered as she continued the drive back home.