Page 24

24

Liam

L enny hadn’t put her shorts back on, but she had covered her lower body while she ate her almost-cold breakfast.

The only sound in the room was that of cutlery scraping on plates and the occasional moans of contentment from her when she ate a particularly delicious mouthful. It was a surprisingly comfortable environment considering that we had just crossed a line in our friendship that we could never uncross.

Not that I wanted to go back. I wanted more. More of watching her fall apart against my tongue. More of the moans that she had to muffle with her hand to make sure she wasn’t being too loud. I wanted everything.

“Why did you feel the need to tell me that you had pubes?” I asked when I saw that she had mostly finished her breakfast. I had a feeling I knew why, but I hadn’t wanted to dive into it earlier lest it piss me off and ruin the mood.

“I dunno, not everyone likes to deal with that.” She shrugged then took a sip of her coffee, now the perfect temperature.

I waited.

“My last two boyfriends said it got in the way of good oral sex,” she said when the silence between us got a bit too heavy.

“But not penetrative?” I scoffed.

“They never had any issue with that,” she muttered. Almost bitterly.

“What standards, exactly, did they expect?”

“Are we really having this conversation?” I nodded and she rolled her eyes. “I guess the ideal was nothing, a landing strip was acceptable, at a push.”

“And they had no leeway with that?” This conversation was pissing me off exactly as I thought it would, but it was bringing with it an unexpected annoyance. Lenny had more important things to think about than having to remember to have hair removed on a regular basis just so her boyfriend would service all her sexual needs.

“Not a lot, no.”

“You know that’s crazy, right?”

“Yeah, and I also know that you are the first person to go down on me in over two years because of it.”

Dual feelings of pride and anger passed through me at that.

“Do I dare ask if he held himself to that same standard?”

“No, and as such, I also have not given a blowjob in two years. You know I’m petty, and frankly, they call it a job for a reason.”

“You didn’t say yes because you didn’t want a life without getting eaten out, isn’t it?” I teased. Lenny took another long sip from her coffee, and I worried that I’d crossed a line, but she let out a soft laugh when she swallowed her coffee.

“It didn’t even cross my mind that I would be signing myself for a lifetime without it. I was used to it not happening. The lack of oral seemed like a really small thing in what was otherwise a good relationship. Or maybe I just wanted it to be good because the thought of being single in my thirties terrified me. I had a good enough man right there, even if sexually, we weren’t the most compatible. The bigger issue was that he was obsessed with you.” The corners of her mouth tipped up into a hint of a smile.

“Now why did you have to tell me he was obsessed with me? I was so determined to trash-talk him for all eternity,” I groaned. Lenny laughed, bright and free.

“I obviously can’t say for certain because I wasn’t there for the aftermath of the second huge event of his year, but something tells me that he was more heartbroken over your retirement than his failed proposal. At least that’s what I’m telling myself so that I feel like less of an asshole for leaving him hanging in a lunge with a ring in a box, held proudly in front of him.”

I shifted so I was close enough to wrap my arm around her shoulders.

“I’m sure I’m not the first person to say this, but if it’s not a resounding yes, then it’s not for you.” I kissed her temple.

“Are you still hard?” The change of subject almost caught me off guard, but this was Lenny, and she didn’t do feelings all that well. At least she didn’t talk about them well; her love language was probably acts of service.

“Not completely, but not far off,” I answered, and she nodded slowly before groaning in frustration.

“Fuck, I don’t have any condoms, do you?”

“I didn’t come home to my parents’ house with the intention of having sex with anyone, so didn’t think to bring any with me. Also, it felt presumptuous to think we would end up here, so I haven’t bought any either…” I trailed off. “But my last screening came back all negative and I haven’t been with anyone since I had it done,” I added.

She sighed. “Yeah, I’m good too, but I’m not on birth control.” She must have caught a look on my face because she continued, “It’s not because we were trying or anything. I am still very much not having children. It’s just that birth control made me feel like shit and I got bored of trying them all. Funnily enough, the thing that catches the sperm before it can do any damage does work. So, condoms are my form of birth control, as well as a very good understanding of my cycle, but mostly condoms.”

I paused.

“So, let me get this straight. Kai didn’t try to find some bullshit reason why he couldn’t use condoms, but he found pubes offensive?”

“Like I said, Muller, he was kind, safe, and good.”

“I know this is kind of my fault, but all this talk of your ex-boyfriend is making me less hard.”

“Well, that’s not what I want. Wait, I can bring this back. So, my initial plan was to sink down on said dick, but that’s out of the question now. I was then going to suggest a mutual masturbation situation, but can I be honest and say that I don’t remember the last time I came more than once—”

I cut in, “Surely at some point with your ex?” Her silence spoke volumes. “Did you have a satisfying sex life?”

“Orgasms are not the be-all and end-all of sex. I usually got one, but it felt greedy to ask for more, especially when the second one usually takes a lot of work.”

“Yes, there is more to sex than orgasms, but you should at least have someone who wants to help you have as many as possible whenever you want and takes the time, when necessary. I mean did he forget vibrators exist?”

“No, he knew they existed. He found them a little emasculating during partnered sex, so…”

It was my turn to groan in frustration. “You’ve faked a lot of orgasms in your time, huh?” She nodded. “Just promise me that you’ll never try and fake one with me. I can take it if you need an assist, and I understand that it might not happen every time or more than once in any given encounter, but please don’t fake it.”

She nodded again. “Alright, pick a place on the body.”

“I’ve got a better idea. Let’s have separate showers and go into the city because something tells me that, despite bringing the vibrator, you did not bring the charger, which means we need a new one. Plus, condoms.”

“Are you sure?” She ran a finger along my covered length. I shuddered underneath the touch.

“Did we not just establish that not all sexual encounters need to end in orgasms?” I said, despite everything in me screaming to beg her to continue touching me with more pressure.

“Fair point.” She removed her hand and then handed me her now empty plate before shimmying her shorts back on underneath the duvet. “I will go have a shower. You take all this back down to the kitchen. Are we gonna get the train or drive to the city? I should warn you, I haven’t driven a car since that road trip we went on between junior and senior year, so you will be the one driving.”

Suddenly, I remembered that Lenny hated driving more than anyone I had ever met. She only learned so she could say she knew how, and sometimes she drove me to and from the arena on days when she knew I was too tired to function. On the road trip she was talking about, I did most of the driving because despite her telling me that she was fine to drive, I knew she would spend the whole time with her knuckles clenched around the wheel, forgetting to breathe.

“I’ll drive. I’ll just get the car keys from Mom.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said and then she leant forward and pressed a kiss to my cheek. It wasn’t the first time she had ever done that, by any means, but something felt different about it this time. My cheek felt warm from it, and it felt that way long after she disappeared from the bedroom and I went to the kitchen to wash our dishes in the sink.