Page 23

Kiki

He walked away from me. I didn’t think that would happen. I didn’t see that coming. I wanted to apologize for my part in this. I wanted to say sorry and hear the same from him, but he walked away instead.

I walk out of his room, dazed and confused, when I run into Remy. His hands come to rest on my shoulders as I look up at him.

“You okay? You talk?”

“He walked away, Remy. I don’t think he wants me anymore,” I admit to him. Remy pulls me into a hug and holds me there.

“He’s just dealin’ with a lot of shit, Kiki. He loves you. I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“He doesn’t love me.”

“Yeah, I think he does. He’s a mess without you, sweetheart. He can’t think straight.”

“He walked away from me,” I remind him.

“I know. Give him time, though, Kiki. He’s gonna come around.”

“You think so?”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t want the drugs, I know that much, but I want him, Remy. Does that make me fucked up?”

“No. It makes you human. You know what you feel and you know deep down this isn’t him. He just needs to get better.”

“You’re back,” I hear Hodge behind us. Remy presses a kiss to the top of my head before shoving me toward my brother. I walk over, wrap my arms around his waist, and hug him tightly.

“I can’t stay away. This is home,” I tell him.

“And Locke?”

“You didn’t have to hurt him that badly.”

“He’s not bad.”

“He is too, Hodge. He can barely move,” I protest. Hodge pulls back to look at me and smiles.

“Good. He got what he deserved then.”

“Seriously? You think he deserved that?”

“Puttin’ his hands on you? Yeah, he did. And he knows that.”

“Have you talked to him?” Hodge shakes his head.

“No. I will, though. We’ll fix this.”

“Where’s Dad?”

“In his office. Go on up.” He gives me a little shove in that direction. I’m hesitant at first and shuffle my feet, not wanting to go up there. I’m nervous as fuck, and I don’t know why. Maybe because I came back already and didn’t stay away? I don’t know, but I am.

I walk to this office and knock on the door. He calls out to me to come in.

“You’re back,” he says as he stands from his seat and comes toward me, arms wide open. I rush into his waiting arms and hug the man who’s been there for me my whole life.

“I’m sorry,” I cry into his shirt.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

“But I should have talked to you and not just run off,” I tell him.

“That’s true. I was scared shitless until I found out where you were.” He holds me a little tighter.

“What happened to Locke wasn’t needed.” He pulls away now and I see my mom sitting in the chair near his desk.

“Yeah, it was. We handle shit around here just like that, and you know it. Always have, sweetheart.”

“He’s been through so much,” I remind him.

“I know he has. Maybe he’s learned his lesson now. Did you talk to him?”

“A little.”

“And?”

“And he said he was sorry and walked away from me.” My dad nods his head like he understands.

“Take a seat with your mom,” he says, nodding toward the other chair. I walk over and sit down as I listen to him call for Locke to come up here. My heart hammers in my chest when my mom reaches over and grabs my hand in hers. We’ve never been that type, never had that kind of relationship before but I’m thankful for her right now.

Locke walks in the air thickens.

“You fucked up, Locke. You fucked up big time,” my dad states. He won’t even look at me, and that hurts.

“I know I did, Prez. I’ll be outta here soon,” he responds.

“No, you won’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re not goin’ anywhere, Locke.” I let out a breath of relief. Dad isn’t making him leave the club over this.

“I did what I did, Prez. I should be out,” Locke tells him.

“I know what you did. We handled it. What I need is for you to get your head on straight and stop usin’, Locke. I need you a hundred percent,” he says. Locke nods his head. “The thing with you and Kiki,” Dad begins, but Locke finishes.

“Is over. I won’t touch her again, Prez. You have my word,” Locke promises him. My heart drops in my chest at his words.

“You liar!” I scream at him. Locke doesn’t even look my way. He keeps staring straight at my dad. “You told me things, Locke. You told me you cared about me!”

“I do goddamn it! I do fuckin’ care about you, Kiki, that’s why I’m doin’ this!”

“You can’t do this!” I cry now. My mom holds onto me as I sob and look to my dad for help.

“Listen,” Dad begins, but Locke cuts him off.

“I get it, brother.”

“Brother. That’s a strong word. It used to symbolize somethin’ to us. It meant a lot, too. That word can be broken, yeah?”

“I did what I did, Gunner. Am I ashamed of it? Fuck, yeah, I am. Can I take it back? No, I can’t. I fucked up.”

“I knew from the way she looked at you, and you looked at her that shit was headin’ somewhere. I could see it. I should have stopped it then.”

“This isn’t on you, Prez. It’s on me. and I can promise you this, there will be nothin’ else between me and Kiki.” That’s when I lose it.