Page 17

17

SAWYER

The drive back to Johnny’s apartment was quiet. We had a lot to discuss, but until I knew he was fully coherent, it wasn’t the right time. I also wanted to let him stew for a little while longer. He intentionally overdrank after telling me he wanted consequences for not following rules, so this was a test I was mentally preparing myself for.

I parked at the curb and then went around the car to help him out.

Johnny was quiet and kept his eyes down, sinking deeper within himself with every passing moment. When we got to the front door, he put the key in the lock and turned it without pushing it open. “Will you come in or do you need to leave?”

“I'm not leaving you like this.”

He swallowed hard and pushed the door open. We were barely inside before he covered his mouth with his hand and ran to the bathroom to empty his stomach.

I slowly followed him in, giving him a moment to compose himself before I ran a washcloth under the warm water and helped clean off his face. “Do you feel better?”

He nodded but kept his eyes down then reached for his toothbrush. “A little bit.”

“Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

He huffed and walked past me to the living room, then he dropped into the corner of the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest. “I did exactly what I said I wasn’t gonna do. Do you hate me now?”

I cocked my head but didn’t let him off the hook quite yet. “Of course not, sweetheart. I don’t think I could ever hate you. And you didn’t do anything you promised not to. You did something that we discussed would have consequences.”

His eyes finally locked onto mine, and he stared at me.

“Which was your plan, right?”

He didn’t say anything, but I knew his game. He’d made it very clear on multiple occasions what he was itching for.

I was sitting in the center of his couch, so I patted my thigh. “Pants down, ass up.”

He gasped, and I could see the new level of fear and excitement in his eyes. “Right now?”

“Right now. It’s the only way you’ll learn.”

He hesitated, and I realized the rookie mistake I’d made.

“We haven’t talked about safe words yet, but now is the time. If you’re uncomfortable with anything we’re doing or about to do, you can say yellow to take a break and I’ll stop. Then we can talk about it. Or you can say red, and I’ll stop immediately. I won’t be mad, and I certainly won’t hate you. Do you understand?”

The corner of his mouth tugged up for just a second and then he nodded. “Yes, Daddy. I know about safe words.”

“So what color are you right now?”

He bit his lips, trying to hold back a smile. “Green.”

I patted my thigh again. “Pants off, ass up.”

This time, he didn’t hesitate at all. Johnny stood up and dropped his jeans to the ground. Then he positioned himself so he was lying over my lap with his dick tucked between my thighs.

My palm gently rested on his soft skin for a moment before I pulled back and gave a quick smack to his left cheek.

Johnny took a stuttering breath and gasped before slowly exhaling. “Still green.”

Okay, then. Let’s do this.

I tested different pressures on different points across his ass and upper thighs, measuring the reaction he gave against the sting on my hand and the color of the mark.

After ten hits, he was thrusting against my thighs, pressing his hard dick across my skin.

I was afraid he was gonna come on his couch despite the tears streaming down his cheeks whenever he looked back at me.

“That’s ten. I think that’s fair.” I slipped my arm under his chest and carefully rolled him so he was sitting over my lap with his cheek against my shoulder. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”

“Good. What about you?”

“My hand hurts a little bit, but otherwise, I feel…confused.”

Johnny pulled back and looked at me with fear in his eyes. “You didn’t like it? You don’t have to do that again. I don’t need that kind of validation. If it makes you uncomfortable, we won’t do it.”

“Whoa, whoa.” I grabbed the back of his head and centered him. “Let’s unpack a few things there. Number one, I didn’t say I was uncomfortable. Truthfully, I’m feeling a little confused because I’m feeling kinda emotional. Part of me wants to cry because you’re in pain, but a much bigger part of me loves that you trust me enough to fill this need for you. None of it’s bad.”

“Oh.” He swallowed hard, and his shoulders relaxed a bit.

“But what do you mean by validation?” That wasn’t a word I expected to hear from him.

“Well, I guess, validation that you care. That you want me to be good and safe and smart. That I…matter to you.”

“Fuck, sweetheart.” I held him tight against my chest and nuzzled his neck. “I fucking care. That’s also the confusing part. Is it normal to feel so much love for someone after just a few days of knowing them? Because I do. I can’t stop thinking about you when you’re not with me, and I just want every moment that you are with me to be as perfect as the last.”

Johnny was sobbing now, finally able to release all the sensations and emotions from the past hour. “I think it’s possible to love somebody, because I already love you. And I love that you want to keep me safe and protect me.” He leaned up and kissed my jaw. “And that was so fucking hot. I almost came against your leg like a damn dog.”

I chuckled and placed my hand in his lap, reaching for his softened, but not completely soft cock. “I noticed. That’s why I stopped. I didn’t want you to make a mess on your couch.”

“You didn’t have to stop. I was so close.” He kissed me hard, pouring all his need and love and relief into me through his needy tongue. “But I know how you can make it up to me.”