Page 10

10

SAWYER

It was hard to believe that the boy who was sitting at the table with his feet tapping under the chair like a bongo had survived childhood, much less to a legal drinking age.

The waiter materialized like magic with glasses of water and then took our orders. I’d been finding the right time to bring up…everything. But that boy kept throwing me off my game, and it was hard to keep track of which “very important matter” we needed to discuss first. Fortunately, Johnny had a plan for where he wanted to take the conversation.

Johnny took a drink of his water and held my gaze. “I seem to recall you mentioned something about a conversation at dinner.”

“Yes, but I’m not sure where to start. You keep blindsiding me.” I waved my hand toward his helmet resting on the chair perpendicular to us.

“Is Daddy mad about a silly motorcycle?” Johnny grinned. “I was very careful on my way here.”

That seemed like an understatement, but I managed a shrug. “More curious than anything else.” Truth was, I didn’t know if I had any right to be mad about anything Johnny did. Not yet, and maybe not ever. That was all dependent on how this first conversation went.

Johnny tossed a chunk of bread into his mouth and chewed it with gusto. He must have been hungry. “So, you’re not ready to commit.” He brushed some crumbs off his shirt and nodded. “I get it. I’m open to keeping things…open.”

I’m not. “I’m ready to commit, but there are a few things we need to discuss before we take things any further.” I hated sounding like this was a business transaction, but Johnny had needs beyond the scope of what I’d dealt with before, and I wanted to fully understand them.

Johnny smirked. “So, not open?”

“No, never.” Even if I thought I could handle seeing him with another man—which I was fairly certain I couldn’t—I definitely couldn’t compromise our physical health, and promiscuity was a hard no for me.

He leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head like he was lounging on the beach. “So what are these things?”

“Motorcycles, for one.” I closed my eyes and took a calming breath to not come off as angry. “Anything on wheels that could kill you is going to give me ulcers.”

Johnny chuckled. “That’s what this is about? My bike?”

“Not just your bike.” I hadn’t meant to come off so anxious, but there it was. And it wasn’t news to him, so I just ran with it. “The skydiving and skateboarding and leaving your door unlocked when you sleep. I already care about you, Johnny. If we’re together, I don’t want to be in a constant state of dread.”

He nodded and was about to speak when I held up a finger to stop him.

“But I also don’t want to stop you from doing what you love. If you truly love your motorcycle, you should be allowed to ride it. I’m just not sure my blood pressure could handle it.”

“Sounds like this is about you caring too much.”

I just held his gaze, neither confirming or denying his statement, but we both knew it was true.

“If I die, you can take comfort in knowing I went out doing what I love. But…” He exhaled dramatically and shrugged. “I’m willing to make some compromises when it comes to taking risks. I don’t want your head to explode or anything, Daddy.”

He continued to push me, and I wanted to latch on to the title and never let go. But we weren’t there yet. “In order to be a good Daddy to you, I need to understand what you need from me.”

“Need is a strong word.” Johnny sounded defensive. “I just think you’re hot and want you. I understand if you don’t want me.”

“I do want you, Johnny. Badly.” He wasn’t making this easy, but I wasn’t about to give up. “But why do you want me of all people? I’m the most risk-averse person on the planet. Would following rules and staying safe be fun for you?” I was being sarcastic, but he answered with a straight face.

“Maybe.” Johnny pushed his chair back from the table and stood up long enough to stretch before he dropped back down with another grin. “I mean, I wouldn’t hate if you cared enough to lecture me about safety and put limits on what I can and can’t do.”

I chuckled, and a heavy weight lifted from my shoulders. “Well, lectures and limits are where I shine, sweetheart.”

He bit his lip and looked up at me from under his long lashes. “I’m counting on it. I’d love to know that if I do something stupid, you’ll have a consequence waiting for me.”

“If we were together…” I paused as I considered my next words. “You’d have all my attention, Johnny. You already do. You wouldn’t have to do dangerous things like ride a motorcycle or jump off cliffs to get it.”

Johnny’s breath hitched as he stared at me. “How exactly do you define dangerous?”

“Dangerous or dumb.” I cocked an eyebrow and smiled. “For me, dangerous and dumb means falling asleep without having my coffee maker on a timer or letting my gas tank get below half full. But for you, I think anything that would require a waiver of liability to be signed by someone over the age of eighteen fits in the ‘let’s have a discussion first’ category.” I held my breath as I waited to hear how he’d respond to that.

Part of me expected him to laugh at me and storm off, but a bigger part of me knew he wouldn’t.

Our food was placed in front of us, and the server quickly disappeared.

As he picked up his fork, Johnny nodded, jumping right back into our conversation. “Okay, that’s reasonable.”

That was easier than I expected. Maybe too easy. “It is?”

“Yeah, but…what happens when I do something without a discussion or that you told me not to?” That glint of mischief I was beginning to see as endearing was back in his eyes.

Now it was my turn to smirk. “I seem to remember you begging for something last night…”

“I wasn’t begging.” He feigned a pout, but I could see the excitement in his eyes. “But I wouldn’t hate a spanking.”

Fuck, he was perfect. “I wouldn’t either.”

He thought about everything for a minute, while we both tasted our food and had a few bites, then took a breath. “Okay, so I don’t die on your watch. What do I get if I’m good?”

“Good?” I finished chewing my fish and leaned back, letting him sit with that word for a moment. “That’s when I play with you.”

“What kind of playing?” Johnny’s voice was ragged, and he was clearly thinking with his Little head as well as his Big head.

“Buy you toys. Take care of you when you’re Little.” I held his gaze and waited for him to interrupt, but he didn’t. He was being such a polite boy. “Sleep over.”

It was easy to see what it would mean for him to have that kind of caring attention in his life. His eyes shone like a kid getting his first puppy. “Yes, I’ll do it. I promise I can be good.” The smile he gave me was everything I wanted to see from him.

“I know you can, sweetheart. You’re already being good.”