Page 57 of Lights Out (Love in the Paddock #1)

My heart is pounding with each second Caleb doesn’t respond. He might be knocked out. He has to be unconscious. That’s why he’s not responding. It makes sense. It’s the only thing that makes sense because I won’t allow myself to think anything otherwise.

Then it happens. Caleb swears in frustration and clears his throat before speaking again. “Yeah, mate, I’m fine. Sorry. Oversteer. My fault.”

Thank God, thank God, thank God!

Catherine grabs my arm, and I turn and hug her. No words are said, because nothing needs to be said. Caleb is talking, and that’s all we need at this point.

“Are you okay, Caleb?” JP presses.

“I’m banged up,” he says. “But I’m okay.”

We both turn our attention to the screen, and Caleb is climbing out of the car. He actually hops down from the wreckage, and I can’t even believe what I’m seeing.

He’s truly fine.

My body nearly goes limp with sheer relief. Caleb is okay. Whatever injuries he might have right now, he’s going to be fine.

I’ve never been so grateful for anything in my entire life.

The red flag is out now, as is the safety car. Marshalls on the track quickly reach Caleb, and cars slow down as they pass the wreckage and make their way back to pit lane. The medical car pulls up, and Caleb is immediately ushered inside so he can be taken to the on-site medical facility.

Catherine takes off her headphones. “I’m going to the medical center to see him. You can wait in his room, and I’ll bring him back after he’s been treated and spoken with the media.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head firmly.

“No?” she asks, wrinkling her delicate nose in confusion.

Adrenaline begins to pump through me again. I know that Catherine is suggesting is what Caleb would prefer I do. Keep the media guessing. Don’t add to the speculation, don’t be anywhere around him in a medical emergency.

It’s all because of his past, which he now realizes.

I assured him I could withstand this. I promised him I was stronger than his mum. This is not the same kind of situation.

Caleb is not the same boy who went through that media nightmare all those years ago, either.

The man I love was in a terrifying accident. And I’m not only going to be there for him, but I’ll tell him how I feel.

Life can change in a second. I don’t want to spend my time hiding my feelings from Caleb.

I want to be with him whenever I can. Walking in the paddock.

Getting dinner. Brushing my fingers through his hair or getting a quick peck on the lips before we part to do our jobs.

I know he might not be in love with me. I swallow hard.

It would be hard to hear, but I also believe he can get there.

I am willing to wait for his feelings to reach mine, because this is the kind of love I’ve dreamed of.

This man is more than worth the wait.

I take off my headset. “I’m going with you,” I tell Catherine firmly.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. Even Caleb.

I know he’s worried about what the media and keyboard trolls will do to me, but at this point?

I don’t freaking care. Screw it . I’m strong.

I’ve got this. And Caleb will see that, too. ”

A smile passes over Catherine’s face. “I knew there was a reason he picked you. Come on, let’s go.”

* * *

Catherine and I are escorted to the medical facility by Bethany Rossi, the chief communications officer for Collings Motors.

She expressed surprise when she first saw me—after all, the last time we met was in Italy, when I was interviewing Caleb.

I introduced myself as his girlfriend, and I definitely saw disapproval flicker in her eyes, but I really didn’t care.

At all.

Next to the facility, I see an emergency helicopter and a CT scan unit. Bile rises in my throat. I mean, I’m so grateful there are facilities like this on racetracks, but it reminds all of us how differently this accident could have ended.

When we step inside the facility, we’re greeted by personnel and take seats as we wait for the doctor to come out and update us. I look around and swallow hard. This situation could have been … I don’t even want to think about what it could have been.

Nobody talks. Bethany works on her phone, no doubt compiling the information that will be given to the media about Caleb’s accident and his health.

Catherine takes a phone call from her mum, and she reassures her over and over that Caleb is okay, and as soon as he’s released from the medical center, she’ll call back.

My phone is going off like mad—and I turn it off.

I have no doubt there are a million messages from Hadleigh, Mom, and Dad, but I can’t talk to anybody until I talk to Caleb.

We’re offered water or coffee, but we all decline.

Finally, a door opens and out walks a doctor. He’s in his forties, I’d say, and he gives us a reassuring smile that causes a second wave of relief to wash through me.

“I’m Dr. Bauer,” he says in Austrian-accented English.

“I’m Catherine Collings, Caleb’s sister.” She extends her hand. “But you may speak freely in front of all of us.”

“All right. First, I can assure you that Caleb is fine. Nothing is broken. Not even a concussion.”

“Thank God,” Catherine says, putting her arm around my shoulders and hugging me to her.

“The technology of the car helped him. He’s sore—and he’ll be very sore for the next few days. But if this were a qualifying day, I’d clear him to drive tomorrow.”

When I think of how his car looked—how it was destroyed by that accident—I can’t believe Caleb is walking away from it unscathed.

I’ve never been more relieved and thankful for anything in my life.

“Would you like to see him?” Dr. Bauer asks. “He’s getting dressed now.”

Catherine turns to me. “You go first. You’re the one he needs to see right now.”

I nod. I know I’m doing the right thing by being here, but I hope Caleb feels the same way. I don’t want to have an argument with him or upset him after he’s just been in an accident, but I am willing to plant my flag on this hill and fight for it if I need to.

I follow the doctor until he stops right outside of an exam room. “He’s in there.”

“Thank you,” I say. “And thank you for treating him.”

“My pleasure,” he says before walking away.

I open the door to the exam room, and there’s Caleb. His back is to me as he pulls up his racing suit so it’s hanging off his hips. As soon as he hears the door, he turns around, but when he sees me, his eyes widen in shock. “Isla!” he gasps. “What are you doing here?”

I hurry toward him, throwing my arms around his neck. And then I burst into tears.

I don’t think I realized how scared I was until this moment. I hold on to him, feeling his soaking-wet racing clothing against mine, my cheek pressing against his cold, damp skin, knowing he’s truly okay and in my arms.

“Hey, hey, I’m okay,” Caleb says, his voice soft and reassuring as one hand cradles the back of my head. “I promise you, I’m fine.”

I continue to cry. “When I saw that car … when I thought …when you didn’t say anything …”

I left unsaid the awful thing that could have happened. I can’t speak the words. I can’t.

Caleb moves back from me and begins to wipe the tears off my face with his fingers. They’re clammy and cold, and I immediately wrap my hands over his, wanting to warm them.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I scared you like this,” he says softly. “I was in shock at first. Then I was mad. I shouldn’t have lost the car like that.”

“Are you freaking kidding me?” I nearly shout. “That race should have been red-flagged! You were right! I’m furious about it!”

One corner of his mouth lifts in an amused smile.

“I’m serious!” I say angrily.

“I know you are. And I love that you’re furious on my behalf.” Then his expression grows serious. “But you shouldn’t be here. Cameras will be circling this place. I know we have been seen together this weekend, but you being here is a big deal.”

I bite my lip. The time has come to be completely honest with him about how I feel about our situation and my feelings for him.

“Caleb, I don’t care.”

“Isla. You know how I feel about this,” he says firmly. “This is something you should be eased into, and this is not the tim—”

“No! It’s the exact right time,” I cry out. “Because I love you. I love you, and I really don’t care who knows it or talks about it or judges me for it.”

Caleb stares at me, a stunned look passing over his face. My chest begins to rise and fall at a rapid rate. His eyes desperately search mine, and his lips are parted in surprise.

Suddenly, cold fear rushes through me. I’ve never seen him look so shocked.

Did I just ruin everything? Does he think I’m saying this because I’m upset?

I have to tell him. I need to tell him everything.

“I’m not just saying that because of the accident,” I say, my words coming out in a rush. “I’ve been in love with you, Caleb. I just didn’t want to tell you so soon. I know you might not be there with your feelings yet, so I don’t expect you to return them and that is oka—”

Caleb’s mouth is on mine, cutting off my sentence with an urgent kiss. “I love you,” he murmurs against my mouth. “I love you so damn much, Isla.”

I move back from him, my heart hammering in my chest. Did he actually say it? Does Caleb really love me back?

“I love you,” he says again, putting both his hands on my face. “And I’ve been in love with you, too.”

“You have?” I ask, feeling almost giddy inside.

A gentle smile lights up his face. “I have. I started falling in love with you the first day I met you, and I never stopped.”

I can’t stop smiling. I can’t.

“Then there’s no need for this slow-launch crap,” I say firmly. Caleb’s body stiffens, but I reach up and stroke one hand through his hair to soothe him. “I have something I want to say, and I want you to listen, okay?”

He nods.

“When you didn’t respond to JP, when I was staring at what was left of your car, all I wanted was for you to be okay.

I vowed that as soon as I could see you, as soon as I could talk to you, you would know that I love you.

I didn’t care if you couldn’t love me back yet.

I had to say those words to you because life is short.

We don’t know how many days we get. All I know,” I say, my voice breaking, “is that I want to spend them with you. I want to hold your hand in the paddock. I want to get coffee at a café with you. I want to cheer you on from the garage every race week. I want to fully be yours. Not in the shadows. But in the light.”

Caleb’s blue eyes begin to grow rimmed with red. He swallows hard, but I keep speaking.

“I’m not your mum. You are not a teen. Our situation is different.

After what just happened out there on that track?

I don’t care WHAT people say about me. They can say I’ve slept my way into my job.

That I wanted to work in motorsports to snare a driver.

I don’t care. I know the truth. And I’ll tell my truth.

I’ll do my job. I’ll help lift up other women working in the sport.

And I will love you in a way I’ve never loved anyone because I already do.

That’s how I want to live. And I hope you want to live that way, too. ”

Caleb is quiet for a moment. Then he clears his throat. “You’re right,” he says, his voice rough. “I need to let go of the past. I need to trust you. I always knew you were tough—hell, it’s one of the main reasons I fell for you—and I know now more than ever that you can handle it.”

“What makes you say that?” I ask, confused.

“Because of the way you reacted to this. You didn’t come in here and demand I give up racing. A lot of girlfriends would have.”

My eyes fill with tears again. “How could I ever ask you to give up what you were born to do? You love racing. It’s your passion . You have to be the one to want to walk away. It doesn’t mean I’ll never be anxious or nervous for you, but I can handle it. That’s a promise.”

“I love you so damn much,” he whispers.

He blurs in my vision. “I love you, too.”

“So we take this on together. No more hiding. You’re mine, and I want everyone to know it.”

I smile up at him. “Yes.”

He kisses me again, but this time, it’s sweet and gentle, and I treasure every second of it. After we part, I remember that Catherine is out there waiting. “Catherine is here,” I say. “She wants to see you. I should let her in.”

“No, I’m ready to go,” Caleb says. Then he links his fingers with mine, and I smile up at him.

“So we walk out of this building hand in hand and start our lives the way we want?”

He grins. “Yep. It’s lights out and away we go.”

My heart is full.

Lights out indeed, I think, smiling happily. And away we go.

But this time, we go together. And I can’t wait to see where we go from here.