Page 36 of Lights Out (Love in the Paddock #1)

I sit still in the passenger seat, the blood pounding in my ears as I stare out the window. I’m angry. Very, very angry that Dad has inserted himself into a relationship he knows nothing about.

But I also feel something else.

Fear.

Fear I’m disappointing him. Disappointing Mom.

Fear he could be right, and I could lose the career I’ve worked so hard for whether things work out with Caleb or not.

“I can see I’ve upset you,” Dad says softly.

I turn my head to face him. “Yes. You have.”

“But you don’t deny it. Your situation with Caleb.”

I draw a breath of air to calm myself before answering. “What I decide to do with Caleb is my business,” I say slowly. “You’re my dad. I love you. I respect you. I’ve always valued your opinion. But I didn’t ask for it.”

Now it’s Dad’s turn to be quiet before speaking again.

“I know you didn’t,” he concedes. “Isla, I love you. I’m giving you advice you might not want to hear because of that.

It’s up to you what you do with it. But I see the career you’ve worked so hard for.

I know the hours you put in at the high school TV station, covering sports.

The internships you’ve done. The hours you’ve covered events I know you have no interest in.

The endless work you did at Georgia, and then you get that opportunity at the Miami Grand Pr—”

“An opportunity,” I interrupt, “that came to me because Caleb thought I was different. He gave me that tour bec—”

I abruptly stop short. Nobody except for Hadleigh and my assignment editor knows about the crap Arthur said about me.

“Because he had an interest in you?” Dad says knowingly.

“I hate this,” I say, growing frustrated. “Yes, Caleb helped me because he was interested. But he also liked how I handled myself. The way I interviewed. Two things can be true at once.”

“Can they?”

Okay, I’m back to pissed off again. “Yes, they can,” I say, my voice taking on an irritated edge.

“Caleb expressed an interest in me when we met. He was upfront and honest about that. But he did not even ask me to have a cup of coffee with him until after he did that one-on-one interview. He went into that without attaching any strings to it. By the way, that was our first date. A cup of coffee in a hotel conference room he booked so he could provide me with complete privacy. So if you’re worried about him playing me, don’t.

Because no F1 driver has to rent an entire hotel conference room and have a cup of coffee to get a hookup. ”

Dad grimaces. I can tell he doesn’t like that image, and if I weren’t so mad, I’d laugh. “Dad, Caleb is not like any man I’ve ever met.”

“Isla, of course he isn’t! He’s a British Formula 1 driver! It’s a very seductive combination.”

“Did you hear what I just said? He had COFFEE with me to get to know me. We talked for hours on Connectivity Video Connect and through messages, getting to know each other. He’s sent me flowers and—”

“Those were from him?” Dad interjects.

Oh right. Those flowers were delivered when I was at home. I forgot that part. But it doesn’t matter, I’m going to tell him everything now anyway.

“Yeah. Because he was proud of me for getting the contract from The Downforce Network.”

Dad furrows his brow. “Isla, I know this is a fantasy. It’s hard not to be swept away by a man making millions upon millions of dollars driving a Formula 1 car. It’s a sexy sport. It’s dangerous. And Caleb is good-looking.”

“Dad, you don’t think I know all of that? Are you forgetting that I’ve worked around high-profile athletes in college and at Total Access Total Sports? I didn’t go after any of them, did I? Oh, and I’d like to remind you, I didn’t go after Caleb, either.”

“But Formula 1 is your kryptonite,” he says. “That’s your passion. So the fact that you have one of the hottest drivers in the world paying attention to you is pretty hard to resist.”

“That’s not it.”

“Okay. Fair enough. Let’s say it’s genuine on both your parts.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence,” I say, bitterness creeping into my voice.

“If this comes out, it could destroy your career,” Dad continues, deftly ignoring my comment. “The social media response will be swift and harsh. If I have questions about his motives and your opportunities, the public will, too. And they will be scathing.”

My stomach begins to churn up acid.

“The Downforce Network could sever ties. It’s not like you’re a full-time staff employee.”

“I know,” I say simply.

“You just have to ask yourself if the shitstorm will be worth it. You might never get another chance in motorsport again.”

“What about what Caleb would face?” I challenge.

My dad blinks. “He’ll be unscathed. It’s not fair, but it’s reality.”

“Wrong.”

“What do you mean, wrong? He’ll go on driving, and that will be that.”

“No. He will have to face the media intruding into his personal life once again,” I challenge.

“They nearly destroyed his family before, and he’s got scars from what they did.

Caleb knows he’s opening that Pandora’s box by seeing me.

If we get serious, we’ll eventually have to go public.

The press will be digging into his life on a whole new level, bringing up past trauma.

And he’s willing to rip those wounds open again. For me .”

A crease forms in Dad’s brow. I can tell he wasn’t expecting this.

“Dad,” I say calmly, “believe me, nobody knows the risks more than I do. Because I’m the one who is not only taking them, but will have the most to lose once we go public. Which won’t be for a while, by the way. But I hope we do, because that means we’re happy together.”

“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “you’re so young. He’s not the only man in the world you could ever be happy with. You could pick someone who is a hell of a lot less complicated.”

“I know that.”

Silence.

I clear my throat. “Dad, I wouldn’t be taking this risk if Caleb weren’t exceptional.”

“And you’re willing to deal with the very real fact that your reputation will be questioned, and you might lose your job because of him? You’ve dreamed of an opportunity like this, and you’re willing to risk it all ending before it even truly begins?”

The acidic feeling is like a tidal wave now. But when I think of Caleb, I have no doubt of what my answer is.

“Yes,” I say softly.

Dad is quiet as he turns into our neighborhood. When he pulls into our driveway, he idles the car before opening the garage door. “Isla, I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want to protect you.”

“I know.”

“I’m going to leave you with one last thing to think about, and I promise you I will never share my opinion on this again. But what you said about Caleb has given me a new worry.”

Confusion fills me. “What? What do you mean?”

“What if the media intrusion is more painful than he anticipates? Will it impact him mentally? Hurt him on the track?”

I bite my lip, remembering how it did impact him when he was in Formula 3, and his driving suffered.

But he was sixteen then. Not the mature man he is now.

“No. Caleb is a completely different person on the track,” I say with confidence.

“But he hasn’t had a girlfriend to worry about before,” Dad points out. “This is new for him. Or what if this reignites old trauma, like you suggested? Will he be able to maintain a relationship with you, despite what he says or what his intentions are?”

I think I’m going to be sick.

“Think carefully, Isla. Caleb might be mature for his age, but he’s still young.

I have to question if he can handle the reality of your situation once it becomes public.

He might say he can withstand it, but can he?

I’d think carefully on that. Because I don’t know many men his age who could.

And you could end up losing everything—and I mean your career and him—as a result. ”

* * *

“Thank you for wanting to go out tonight,” I tell Hadleigh.

“You mean, thank you for being your pseudo psychologist, best friend, and Uber driver?” she asks, her blue eyes sparkling at me.

I take a sip of my vodka soda as we sit on the patio of a bustling rooftop restaurant overlooking South Beach.

The terrace is filled with outdoor sofas and low-set tables, and Hadleigh and I are seated together on a sofa with a view of the street below.

Tropical plants surround us, and white lights twinkle everywhere, and if I weren’t completely jet-lagged and fighting emotional turmoil, I’d be enjoying this.

But truth be told, I just needed my best friend this evening.

“Yes, you are all those things,” I say, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear as the breeze blows it around.

“So what’s going on?” she says, taking a sip of her mango iced tea.

“We need to speak in code. I can’t use someone’s real name in public.”

A mischievous glint enters Hadleigh’s eyes. “Okay. Let me think of the perfect name for him.”

“Nothing perverted!”

“Me?” she asks oh too innocently.

“Yes, you. Please make his nickname G-rated.”

She rolls her eyes. “That takes nearly every name I thought of out of the running.”

I smile. I already feel lighter in Hadleigh’s presence.

She whips out her phone. “Hold please.”

“What are you doing?”

She taps a few things on her phone. “George.”

“George? Why George?”

“Oh my God, it’s his middle name. How did you not know that?” she asks. “Didn’t you google the crap out of him?”

“Is that according to Wikipedia?” I ask. “How do you even know if that’s right?”

“There’s the reporter coming to life!” Hadleigh laughs. “But yeah, Wikipedia.”

“Then I’m sure his middle name is Maxwell or something else.”

“Okay, Maxwell. We’ll call him that.”

“Fine.”

“So what’s up with Maxwell?”

“Mitch is not on board with Maxwell,” I say, swirling my straw into my glass, moving the ice around. “He spent the whole ride from the airport trying to dissuade me from seeing him.”

“Okay, how did my favorite lawyer argue his case?”

“Oh, you know, that I’m young, Maxwell is young, this whole thing could destroy my professional reputation and end my career.”

A server approaches us, smiling brightly. “Are you ladies ready to order?”

“Can we get some chips and guacamole for starters?” Hadleigh asks.

“Of course. I’ll put that in and come back to take the rest of your order shortly.”

We thank her, and then she leaves us alone.

“So Mitch was in two modes,” Hadleigh says thoughtfully.

“I detected Dad mode. What other mode are you talking about?”

“Reality mode,” she says.

I didn’t think a second tidal wave of acid was possible in one day, but it rises up within me, swirling around my vodka soda and making me sick.

“Don’t look like you’re going to puke up your drink,” Hadleigh says. “Hear me out, okay?”

“I don’t know if I want to. I don’t think I can take you agreeing with Mitch.”

“Wait, I need to step back for a moment. What did Autumn say?”

I exhale. “Mom came up to reinforce what Dad thought after I got upstairs to my room.”

“It makes sense.” Hadleigh nods.

I furrow my brow. “Weren’t you the one telling me to go for this?”

“Yes. Now I’m going to tell you what I think.”

I remain silent and take another sip of my drink.

“What Mitch said is realistic, I’m not gonna lie,” she says slowly. “He’s your dad. He sees the most likely outcome of all of this. He has seen you work so hard to get to where you are, and he’s terrified of you not only losing it, but being destroyed by social media in the process, Isla.”

“But I—”

“No, no, let me finish.” Hadleigh throws up her perfectly manicured hand in a stop motion.

I shut my mouth.

“Looking at it on paper, his advice is bang on. This is why your parents are highly worried about you. The odds of this crashing and burning are spectacular. But there’s one variable they can’t truly measure or account for.

And that is what you and Maxwell feel when you’re alone together.

How it feels when he listens to you talk.

How it feels when he touches you or gives you a friendship bracelet.

How you feel when he looks at you. Or how you feel when you make him smile.

When he shares a bit of himself with you, parts very few people get to see.

“That’s special, Isla. I’ve never seen you light up the way you do when you talk about him.

I believe in love. And after seeing the dumpster fire that was my parents’ marriage, I know if I had a chance to be with a man like that, I would risk everything for it.

Because that is what I want. A love story. Is that what you want, Isla?”

Hadleigh’s words hit me in the heart. A love story was never a priority for me before. All I wanted was my career. Love could be later. Way later.

But that’s not the way my story is turning out.

“I want a love story,” I confess, “but only if I can have it with Maxwell.”

“And he feels the same way, right?”

“Yes,” I say without hesitation.

“Then I think you know what to do,” Hadleigh says, taking another sip of her iced tea. “Remember, your parents love you. And they will continue to love you no matter what you do.”

The fear of disappointing my parents dissolves with her words. Yes, they won’t like it. Yes, they will hate the end result when we first go public.

But that doesn’t mean they are disappointed in me.

Even if they are? This is my life. My story to write. My parents made their choices. They wrote their love story. Now I have a chance to write mine.

It’s not how I planned for it to happen. Or when I wanted. Falling for an F1 driver is the last thing I would have chosen in an ideal world.

But Caleb has been put into my life at this time for a reason . I have to trust the universe on that, even more than I trust my parents’ good intentions.

He’s worth every risk I’m going to take for him.

And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.