Page 31 of Lights Out (Love in the Paddock #1)

Maks talked to me during my circuit walk in Italy, and I’ll always be grateful for how kind he was to me, with it being my first live assignment for the network.

“Likewise, Maks. Thank you for taking some time to show me some of your reaction training,” I say.

We chat for a few minutes, and then meet his trainer, Leonardo.

When we begin to film, Leonardo explains the importance of having quick reaction times in driving and how drivers have to work on them.

This can be anything from juggling to dropping a tennis ball for Maks to catch—and it can also involve technology.

Maks shows me a set of lights positioned on a desk. He sits down in front of them and explains what they are to me.

“These are Blazepods,” he says. “It’s part of my pre-race routine. We use them for flash reflex training. The lights come on, and you try to tap them out as fast as you can. You can set it up for as hard as you want on the app.”

He demonstrates it, hitting each light as soon as it flashes.

“Now it’s your turn,” he says, getting up from the desk and offering me his chair.

“Have you adjusted it to the easiest setting for me?” I ask.

“Nope. You’re taking the test at my level.”

I groan and he laughs.

“Well, that laugh is a bit wicked.”

“It’s going to be a challenge for you. Unless you’ve been practicing Blazepods in your flat,” he says, grinning.

As I try to hit the lights as soon as they appear, we’re both laughing and talking about my horrible reaction time.

It’s so much harder than it looks, and I make sure I share that with the audience.

I wish Maks good luck in qualifying today, and then Victor whisks Luke and me off to visit with Fionn.

I ask him about how he works on his reaction times, and what he does in his pre-race routine.

He’s not as engaging as Maks, who has that “it” factor, which makes him very likeable and easy to interview.

Maks is a natural in front of the camera.

With Fionn, I have to work a bit harder, and I have a feeling a lot of what we are shooting with him will be cut in the editing bay.

Luke sends the footage to our field producer, and I text him a note saying we’re finished and my thoughts on the shoot.

I walk with Luke back toward the circuit, and my heart is full.

I’m going to go around Monaco and film some thoughts on the city—like the famous Fairmount hairpin, the slowest corner on the entire F1 schedule.

I’ll also stop by Emilia Wentworth-Hay to try on some clothing and shoot some content for my channels.

They want me in one of her outfits tonight, and they will make alterations and have it sent over to my hotel for the party this evening.

I look around me. I’m in Monaco . Reporting on F1 at one of the most historic racetracks in the world. This was my dream, and here I am, not only doing it, but on the verge of carving out a career in it.

The possibilities seem endless. I’ve still got my own brand for content creation, and I’ve got a fantastic deal to promote E. Hay ready-to-wear fashion.

This is only the beginning for me.

The one thing that could jeopardize everything I’ve worked so hard for is the man I’m falling hard and fast for. The man my heart tells me I have to be with.

Caleb.

Right now, as we’re getting to know each other, we’re in this magical secret space that is safe and away from the eyes of the world.

And I’m certain there’s a part of the world that will judge me harshly for being with Caleb.

All my worries come right back to the forefront of my mind. My ethics might be called into question. The Downforce Network might never give me another assignment. Horrible things will be said about me on social media. Would my own channels and sponsorship opportunities go up in flames, too?

I bite my lip and rub my fingers over the friendship bracelet on my left wrist as I walk through the streets of Monaco.

The friendship bracelet that I’ve worn every day since Caleb gave it to me.

How can dating a man like him be considered wrong? How can I be judged for finding a good man? A man who interests me, listens to me, and makes me laugh? A man who has depth and emotion? How can I be penalized for that?

Yet I know it’s true. I will be accused of using my position to sink my claws into a driver.

Or of using Caleb to get my opportunities in motorsport.

Yes, he gave me that interview because of his interest in me, but there were no strings attached when I accepted his offer.

It was before he asked me for a coffee. And I did all the work to make that interview a success.

I swallow hard. I have a feeling it won’t be seen that way by the people I’m working with, or some of the rabid fans of the sport. I won’t win.

In fact, I’m going to lose. Either way, I will lose credibility. Possibly all my opportunities, too.

Yet after last night? I’m still willing to take the risk, no matter how crazy or massive it is. That’s how special Caleb is.

If things progress, I’ll eventually have to face The Downforce Network and convince them I can still do my job like a professional, even if I’m seeing one of the top drivers in the world.

And if—that’s a big IF—I convince them, I’m going to have to convince motorsports fans as well. That I didn’t enter the space to land a driver. It was never my goal to date one—it just happened because of the person Caleb is.

I swallow hard as I think of these scenarios. Guilt claws at my chest, because I always did everything by the letter when it came to school. Internships. I meticulously built my career. In any picture I had of my future self, it never ever involved dating an F1 driver.

Let alone dating one and keeping it secret.

If things progress as my heart hopes they will, my private life and career will be up for dissection.

It will be more than hard.

And when I think of the heat Caleb will take—the media intrusion on his personal life, after everything the tabloids put his family through? It will be hell for him.

But when I think of Caleb and how he looks at me? I refuse to believe that he can’t handle the prying eyes.

I also believe that somehow, there’s a way for me to have my career and Caleb, too.