Page 6

Five

Dreams she knew it. But Cassie would undoubtedly suggest they date a bit longer before getting engaged. So would her mother, using her own marriage to Alexa’s dad as an example, even though Alexa and Tristan were nothing like her parents. And now that she thought about it, Tristan was right.

Maybe they did need to satisfy their families.

“I agree.” She sighed. “You’re right. We should wait.”

His eyes narrowed just slightly as though trying to see whether she was agreeing just to appease him.

Alexa chuckled and kissed his cheek. “No, really, I totally agree with you. I believe it’s for the best.”

Tristan’s face relaxed with a smile. “Good. Because I have something else in mind.”

“What?”

“When you go to college—”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.” She straightened herself with a smile. “I’m gonna apply for the closest—”

“Actually, I was going to suggest the opposite,” Tristan cut in, sounding sly. “I like the idea of being out of town for a while, and a college that’s far away sounds spectacular.”

Alexa stared at him. “You mean to say, you’re gonna come and stay closest to me wherever I go for college?”

“No,” he drew out the syllable with a smile. “I meant to say, I’m coming with you to college.”

“Are you serious?” She stifled a laugh.

“One hundred percent,” he said like he had thought it over ten times before telling her. “What do you think?”

“T-that’s fantastic!” She was flushed with excitement. “Oh, Tristan, you could finally experience school, hang out with other guys… We would be together!”

“Yes, but one tiny bit of correction. I’m not planning to hang out with anyone but you.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “But think about it, you will be making friends!”

“My best friend is right here.” Tristan tightened his arms around her and brushed his nose with hers playfully. “I don’t want anyone else. I know that sounds extremely introverted, but it’s the truth. But… maybe I’m not entirely hopeless to befriend at least one person.”

“One boy ,” she corrected.

He grinned deviously. “Is my Lexampkin jealous at the idea of me befriending a girl?”

“Disturbed.”

He laughed. “Then lucky for you, I have no such intention.” Then, as an afterthought, he asked, “But you don’t mind me calling Daphne a friend, do you?”

“I’m not sharing my best friend with you, mister.” She tapped her index finger against his chest. “But I guess you could call her a friend.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thank you, Lexampkin.”

Alexa smiled and rested her head back on his chest. After a beat, she said, “About earlier, I’m sorry I upset you.”

“It’s alright, love.” He lifted a hand to caress her cheek. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I’m sorry too. We have different views on aspects of faith now. You believe one thing, and I believe another.”

His words echoed in her mind until a terrifying realization hit her. A certain verse from the scriptures sprang to the forefront of her mind.

Believers shouldn’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

Her heart raced. Not in the pleasant way it usually did.

It had been at least a year since she’d heard that message at church, but now her mind drew a clear memory of the pastor’s words.

This passage doesn’t specifically mention marriage, he had said. But it does refer to being bound in a relationship with someone. And no relationship is more binding than marriage.

While Alexa hadn’t yet made peace with Jesus’ silence to her prayers, she read her Bible every day and prayed in every waking moment and before bed. Even her worship-leading had started to become something meaningful. She had chosen her path; she wanted Jesus in her life as much as she wanted Tristan.

But Tristan had an exceptionally huge grudge against God. Every mention of God and faith frustrated him. Even when she had told him about Haxsel’s words, he had simply nodded and listened to her with a smile. A forced smile.

Did that mean she couldn’t marry Tristan? That they couldn’t have the future they had been dreaming of?

Alexa straightened slowly and met his eyes. “And your belief will never change?”

“Does it matter?” he asked in the same soft tone as hers. “I love you. You love me. What is greater than that?”

A part of her wanted to answer by saying, “Nothing,” and move on from the topic. But the strange urge inside her told her to press forward. She felt torn. If she continued, would it ruin everything they had?

“Angel, talk to me.”

“There is something greater still,” she said. “Jesus.”

Tristan closed his eyes. “Lexa…”

“Don’t you believe that the bad things that happened in our lives are what brought us together?” Her voice shook slightly.

“Are you defending Him now?” There was an edge to his voice.

“No, I’m simply stating the fact.”

His eyes snapped open. “And how is that a fact? Are you saying that losing your dad so young and being an orphan was worth it?”

Her eyes flared. “If that’s what entwined our paths, then yes! It was worth it!”

Tristan shook his head again, his eyes pained. “You know what I believe? That we would’ve met even without all the bad things in our lives that threw us together. It would’ve been different, that’s all.”

“How so? Tristan, our dads were friends but never once did we ever cross paths until after I lost my dad! Do you get my point?” She explained more gently, “If my dad were still alive, I wouldn’t have been miserable. And the things that happened in his absence wouldn’t have occurred, especially not the suicide. Same with you; if your mother and sister had never died, you wouldn’t have been living a miserable life. Aside from your curse, you would have been happy. And we wouldn’t have met that way. Because you and I, we met each other in our brokenness.”

“So you’re saying God couldn’t have made it happen any other way? That the painful one was the better or the only option? I don’t think I can agree with you on that, Lexa, because I would still give anything to have my mom and my sister alive and not carry the guilt of their deaths for the rest of my life.”

Alexa’s eyes widened. “Tristan, I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you! I know it hurts. I’ve been in your place questioning God too, remember? But I learned that we can’t question Him and His ways.”

“That’s the thing. I don’t want this God. If there were any other God than Him, someone kind—”

“There isn’t. He is the only one, and He’s not merciless—”

“That’s what you believe.”

“That is the truth !”

“Lexa, look, I don’t want to fight you on this.”

“ Would you have let me into your life, revealed yourself to me, if I hadn’t tried to take my life that day and you had to jump in to save me?” she shot back. “No, you wouldn’t have. Because you thought you were trying to protect me from you by keeping out of my life, without direct involvement, despite your heart wanting the opposite. Tragedy pushed us together, that’s what I’m trying to prove! Can you deny that?”

“Lexa, I really think we should stop.”

“I can’t, Tristan, because if you keep holding a grudge against God, the Bible forbids me from marrying you!” The words spewed out of her mouth, and her eyes widened like saucers.

Tristan’s eyes narrowed in disbelief. “So you choose your God and your faith over me ?” he asked slowly like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Alexa closed her eyes and sighed. Her heart ached. “As a Christian, that’s what I’m supposed to do, and I’m trying to get there. God should come first, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

“So, that’s how it is now, is it?” he muttered. Alexa opened her eyes to see him shaking his head. “I can’t believe this…”

“Tristan, I don’t love you any less—”

“I can’t do this, Lexa.”

She jerked back at those words. “You’re breaking up with me?”

Tristan jerked back the same. “What, no! I meant I can’t have us fight over this.”

“Tristan—”

“Let’s get you back.” He stood, and Alexa followed helplessly, looking at him with wide, imploring eyes.

“Tristan—”

“I want to be alone,” he said, meeting her eyes. They softened a fraction. “Please.”

Alexa stared at him. She didn’t want them to leave like this, but if he wanted to cool off, she’d give him time before they talked again.

She nodded, and he pulled her to him. Gravity shifted and restored beneath them, and she found herself in her room.

Without a word, Tristan kissed her forehead and dropped his arms. He stepped back, and the last thing she saw was his tormented eyes before he disappeared.