Page 15

Fourteen

Strange Reminders

A month later…

T he emptiness in Alexa’s heart deepened with each passing day. Every morning, she woke with the overwhelming sense that a vital part was missing—a piece of herself gone forever. Seven months had passed since she lost her dad, yet the void he left behind remained as raw as ever.

She tried to distract herself, but nothing seemed to work. Reading provided a temporary escape, and while posting reviews on Instagram offered a fleeting sense of purpose, even that had begun to feel hollow. She no longer had the energy to film reels or maintain her once-beloved YouTube cooking channel.

Alexa had accepted that this emptiness would be her lifelong companion, but over the past month, it had weighed on her like never before—an ache that refused to relent. One day, unable to bear it any longer, she found herself at her dad’s gravesite, flowers in hand.

Setting the flowers at the headstone, she traced her fingers along the name carved into it.

Mark Tyler Ford

Beloved son, father, and brother

09-08-1974 to 12-12-2022

“I miss you, Daddy,” she murmured, tears filling her eyes. “I miss you every day. Your absence is like a constant stab to my heart, like someone punched a hole through my chest. It hurts. It sucks… You’re not with us anymore, but it also feels like you’re everywhere. Everywhere I look, there’s something that reminds me of you, no matter how hard I try not to think about it. Because the moment I do, I have this huge urge to curl up and transform into a human fountain. I… I don’t know how I pushed through all these months or how I’m going to make it through the rest of my life. Just the thought of it—a reality where you don’t exist—is exhausting.”

Alexa pressed her handkerchief to her eyes. “I know you can’t hear me, but I just wanted to talk. I can’t go to Cassie because I don’t want to see her break down too. I know I can turn to Daph or Jonny, but I don’t want to burden them with my sorrows. I don’t want anyone’s pity; I’m sick of it, but there’s no denying that I’m growing weaker at heart the longer I press forward in life.

“Yes, I know what you’d say if you heard me. I can almost hear you say it.” She smiled and hiccuped. “I’m trying that. I’m trying to trust God, but I know I’m failing. I met this guy in the hospital a few months ago, and he told me he was sent to me by Jesus. He told me a lot of things, and I believe it. I just… I just don’t know what God is expecting of me. I don’t know how to… I don’t know! I feel like I did something really bad, but I can’t remember what it is. It makes me feel like I’m undeserving of ever asking for forgiveness. Is it funny that I feel guilty for something I don’t even remember doing? I’m so bad, Daddy, so bad. I know I’ve really upset God, that life has lost its meaning, and that I’m lost. Utterly lost.

“Jonny looks at me sometimes like he can see my struggle. I don’t know how he does that; not even Cassie has suspected it. Or maybe she’s just not confronting me about it. Jonny asks me if I’m alright almost every time he sees me, and I lie to him that I’m fine. But it’s like he knows I’m lying, and he gets this sad look in his eyes. I feel bad for lying to the only big brother I have, but it’s best this way—me and my struggles left alone for me to deal with by myself. Cassie would kill me if she heard this. I think Jonny is convinced I’m upset over my breakup with my ex-boyfriend, Tristan, but it’s ridiculous because… because…”

She tried to think of the reason why the idea of her being upset over her latest breakup was ridiculous, but that train of thought left her mind at the next moment.

“Is it crazy that I wish ghosts were real and you would be with me, and I could—if not see—be aware of your presence? I miss you that much.”

Suddenly, her phone rang. She pulled it out from her pocket and saw her mom’s caller ID. The timing couldn’t be more ironic. She sighed and swiped the answer button.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Honey, where are you?” There was a slight strain in her mother’s voice.

“A-at the graveyard,” Alexa stuttered. “Everything alright, Mom?”

“ Oh —oh… Nothing drastic.” Her mother sighed. “I just… I just wanted to see you. I’m in the hospital.”

Alexa sprang to her feet. “What? Are you hurt? What happened?”

Flashes of her dad on his deathbed went through her mind. The tears in her eyes increased and she clenched her jaw. No, she wasn’t going to lose her mother too. She had just gotten her back a few months ago.

“No honey, I just fainted,” her mother said, her voice weak but gentle and assuring. “Must be the stress of the job—and I haven’t been eating well these days. The doctor said I had low blood pressure. I’ll be alright soon, but I wanted to see you.”

“I’m on my way.” Alexa threw a last glance at her dad’s headstone and hurried past the others to where her car was parked.

“You don’t have to rush, sweetheart.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“My head doesn’t feel well, but it’s better than yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” she sputtered in disbelief. “You’ve been in the hospital since yesterday, and I’m only learning about this now?”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t able to access my phone until—”

“Jude could’ve texted me,” she retorted, unlocking her car and getting behind the wheel. Putting her mom on speaker, she set the phone on the dashboard and pulled onto the road.

“He doesn’t know we’re in touch, honey. I haven’t told him because you asked me not to. But I did ask Tom to call you from my phone. He was frenzied and forgot, so I thought I’d call you myself since I feel better now.”

“Are you alone now, then?”

“Yes, and Jude won’t be back until late afternoon.”

“Good, I’m driving there. It’s that hospital close to the news station, right?”

“Yes, honey. I’m in room 204. Drive safe, please. Don’t rush.” Then, she added hesitantly, “Could you… could you tell Cassie I’d like to see her too?”

Alexa sighed silently. The last time she tried, Cassie had been stubborn. But maybe, just maybe, she would thaw this time hearing that their mother was in the hospital. If not, she’d ask John to convince her.

“I will, Mom. See you in a bit.”

* * *

Alexa followed the directions to her mother’s room. She spotted 204 and jogged toward the doorway.

Her mother lay on the bed, leaning against the headboard, with her husband beside her, feeding her something that looked like soup. Alexa hesitated. Perhaps she should wait until the man left.

She had no sooner finished the thought than Tom’s head turned in her direction. He did a double take and smiled as recognition lit his eyes.

Jude’s father, unlike him, was white, with natural blond hair and dark eyes. Jude inherited his complexion from his mother, who was African American.

“Alexa, hey!”

Alexa forced a smile. He might be kind and he loved her mother, but Alexa still loathed the man.

“Come in, come in,” Tom urged, standing up and placing the bowl away. “Your mother was just telling me to expect you anytime.”

She gave him a polite nod and turned to her smiling mom before walking toward her. She accepted her offered hand and clasped it in both of hers securely.

“Please persuade her to finish the soup while you’re staying, Alexa. Your mother can be stubborn sometimes—and not to mention, careless when it comes to eating. Anyways, it’s nice seeing you again, kid. I gotta go now; duty calls.”

Tom leaned down and pressed a kiss to his wife’s forehead. Alexa averted her gaze. Once his footsteps left the room, she sat down next to her mother with an intent gaze on her.

“Promise me you’ll be careful from now on, Mom. I can’t lose you too, you know?”

“Oh, honey.” Her mother’s eyes were gentle. “It’s just low blood pressure. I’ll be fine if I eat regularly—”

“Do you hear yourself, Mom? If you eat regularly.” She gave her mom a scolding look.

Her mother smiled and patted the space next to her with her free hand. “Come here.”

Alexa didn’t have to be told twice. She kicked off her sandals and lay next to her mother. She closed her eyes as her mother put an arm around her and embraced her.

When was the last time they’d been in a similar position? Alexa failed to recall. It was probably when she was a little girl.

She never imagined she’d ever get to cuddle with her mother again. That and the gaping hole in her heart made her eyes well up with tears. Alexa sniffed to take them back, not wanting her mother to know she was crying, but her mother’s arms tightened around her.

“Oh, honey. What is it, sweetheart?”

Alexa clenched her eyes shut and shook her head. “Just hold me. Please.”

“Of course, baby. As long as you want me to.”

Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them. The void still gaped, reminding her that there used to be something in the hole that made her life brighter and easier. Some one .

Someone who used to hold her as long as she wanted him to. He loved holding her, especially when she asked him to. In his arms, she had found everything, including her home. He was special, so, so special.

But who was he?

Alexa knew instantly it wasn’t her dad. However, she couldn’t put a face to the person in her mind, whose ghost of an embrace she could still feel if she closed her eyes and focused.

That was strange. Who was he? If he meant so much to her, why couldn’t she remember him?

A sharp pain shot across her temples. Alexa winced. Tears kept running down her cheeks, but the embrace of her mother no longer reminded her of anyone’s.

Alexa didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until she heard her mother’s voice over her head. She opened her eyes and looked around the room, stopping on someone whose sight made her sit upright and get down from the bed. With a genuine smile.

“Dr. Knight!” Alexa didn’t hide her surprise and joy at seeing her dad’s old friend. “What a surprise.” She ran a hand over her face and through her hair before walking up to hug the man.

Dr. Knight received her with a warm smile and gave a light squeeze. “Sorry if I interrupted your nap.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to sleep at all.” She chuckled and pulled away, waving a hand.

“Oh, yes. You definitely didn’t mean to, it just happened,” he said sarcastically, a twinkle in his eyes. “And the last time we talked, I remember telling you to call me Albert, just like every other time.”

Alexa laughed. “Then Albert it is.”

He rolled his eyes. “Your response hasn’t changed a bit.” He patted her shoulder. “How are you and Cassie? I haven’t been able to check in on you two for a while.”

Alexa lifted a shoulder. “As good as we can be. How did you know my mom was here?” She turned back to her mom, who was watching their exchange with a pleased smile, and gave her mom a look that asked, ‘ You told him and not me ?’

Apparently, her mother couldn’t read her, as she kept smiling, unaware of the silent question.

“I ran into Tom in the lobby. I was visiting a friend, and I thought to pay you two a visit before I leave,” Dr. Knight explained.

“Good, because my mother could use an extra lecture on never skipping meals and risking her health again.”

Dr. Knight chuckled and gave Alexa’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “I was telling her just that before you woke up.”

“Goodness, how long have you been here, and I didn’t realize it?” Alexa looked from him to her mother, slightly embarrassed.

“Not long, dearest Alexa.” Dr. Knight chuckled again, looking at her in a fatherly way. “Anyway, I’ve gotta go now. My shift begins in an hour and a half. It was nice seeing you both, especially you, Alexa.”

Alexa’s smile widened. She stepped closer and gave him a side hug. Her eyes fell on his left hand, on the ring finger, and she remembered how she used to think he was unmarried until he bought her car and said it was for his son.

Before she could even think about it, the question slipped from her tongue. “How is your son, Dr—I mean, Albert ?” She gave him a sly smile at her mistake.

“He’s good, thank you.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Your car is in good hands, Alexa. Don’t worry.” He winked.

“It’s not my car anymore.” She gave him a look that said ‘Seriously?’ .

His eyes gentled, as in understanding. “I know how much that car meant to you. Why don’t you—why don’t you come to my house one day and see it if you like.”

Alexa was taken aback by the offer. “Oh. I—I’m not sure that’s—”

“I assure you, my son won’t mind,” Dr. Knight said. “In fact, he wasn’t pleased I bought the car from you when I told him it meant a lot to you.”

Alexa was touched to hear that. “What you did then was a great relief for us, Albert. I’m so thankful for you, for everything.”

“No mention, sweetheart. It was the least I could do.” He gave her shoulder one final pat and stepped back. “Keep in mind what I said. You can come visit your car—and me—anytime. Bircher’s Street. You’ll see a hedge-walled pathway on the left leading to my house. If you have any doubt, just ask anyone in the neighborhood for Dr. Knight’s house.”

“Thank you.”

Dr. Knight bid them both farewell and walked out of the room. Alexa turned to her mother, and her smile faltered upon seeing the thunderstruck expression on her face. She waited for her mother to speak.

When all her mom did was gape at Alexa, she prompted, with an awkward laugh, “Mom? Everything alright?”

Her mother composed herself from her reverie. “What on earth was that about?”

“Uh… you mean my car?” Alexa asked, utterly confused, walking back to her. “You remember I had to sell my—”

“Of course, I know that, Alexa.” Her mother had a wild expression on her face. “Doesn’t Albert know you and Tristan used to date? Why did you act like you don’t know his son?”

“Whoa, whoa— what? ” Alexa blinked. “Tristan? Dr. Knight’s son? What are you talking about, Mom?”

“Tristan Knight, your ex-boyfriend,” her mother said as if it was so obvious.

“Mom,” she called her with a light chuckle. “My ex isn’t Tristan… Knight . How do you know Dr. Knight’s son’s name anyway? Even I don’t know it. My ex is a different Tristan, remember?”

Her mother arched an eyebrow at her. “Nice joke, honey.”

“Mom!” she called her admonishingly, still chuckling. “You think I’m joking? Why should I joke? This Tristan Knight—as you say—who owns my former car and my ex-boyfriend are different.”

Her mother regarded her for a moment, her eyes serious, before she asked, “How did we reunite?”

“What?”

“Tell me how you and I came together. What— who made you come to me that day in my office?”

Alexa opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her mind drew blank. Yet she tried to think. It was definitely not Cassie. Perhaps John? Daphne?

“Tristan Knight,” her mother said, her eyes widening in alarm. “Alexa, stop scaring me! This isn’t a joke!”

“I’m not joking, Mom!” Alexa shot to her feet like the bed had burned her. “What are you talking about?”

Her mother was looking at her as though Alexa had lost her mind.

No, her mother had lost her mind. She wasn’t feeling well; no wonder why.

She sighed and sat back. “You need to lay down for a bit, Mom. You’ll feel better when you wake up after a long, nice nap.”

“You think I’ve lost my mind?”

“You think I have lost mine?” she asked incredulously. “Mom, you are speaking nonsense. Please. You are scaring me. Go to sleep. I’m not leaving your side, alright?”

But her mother grabbed her hand instead. “What happened between you and Tristan anyway?” she asked in a whisper. “I know I didn’t ask much about it, as shocked as I was to hear about your breakup. You two were inseparable, so much in love, and just… meant for each other. I knew it in the way you looked at each other. It was in your eyes. What happened, sweetheart? Why are you acting like that sweet boy who pushed you to do the right thing didn’t even exist in your life?”

Alexa lost her breath at those last words. Instead of retorting or convincing her mother to lie down, she found herself whispering, “What?”

“He brought us together—of course, it was God’s hand, but He used Tristan to reunite us.” Tears filled her mother’s eyes. “What was it that you told me then? Oh, ‘He makes me a better person’ and ‘He makes me happy, he understands me, he’s honest; he’s such a gentleman’ . I still remember your words because I was truly happy for you. Oh, and Tristan said Dr. Knight was his father. They looked so much alike. He was there with you. Alexa, you’re scaring me. Tell me you’re only playing me!”

What was her mother talking about? She was literally begging her now.

“I-I think you should really get some sleep.” Alexa began to rise, but her mother’s hold on her hand tightened.

“Are you telling me—oh, my Lord, this is not amnesia! How come you forgot Tristan? Tristan bought you that car on your birthday two months ago. You told me Tristan and Jude are second cousins—oh, and they went to see Jude’s biological mother in South Africa last month—” Her eyes widened. “Did you two break up after he returned from the trip? Did he—”

“Mom—” Alexa began, but she was cut off again.

“Did Jude try to interfere?” Her mother’s eyes suddenly became fierce.

“Interfere where?”

Both Alexa and her mom jumped at the third voice and snapped their eyes to the doorway. Jude stood there with an impassive expression on his face, holding a coffee tray in his hands.

“Jude White, did you interfere in Alexa and Tristan’s relationship?” her mother asked him, her voice stern like a teacher’s.

Alexa couldn’t take this anymore. She stood before her mother could stop her again. “Mom, seriously, you need to lie down.”

The only Tristan Jude knew was Alexa’s ex, and Jude hadn’t done so much as breathe wrong in their direction. Other than coming to her doorstep with flowers as soon as he heard about her breakup.

She was still annoyed with him over that, but for her mother, she turned to him and said, “I don’t think she’s feeling well.”

Jude’s eyes were already on her mother. He nodded, without taking his eyes off her. “I figured… Would you mind getting the doctor?”

Alexa almost opened her mouth to tell him to go get the doctor himself, but an urge rose in her to do as he said. She let go of her mother’s hand and moved toward the door. Her mother didn’t protest, too busy glaring at Jude.

Alexa never thought she would see the day her mother glared at her dear stepson.

She stepped out of the room. But instead of going to get the doctor, she stood with her back pressed against the wall. And listened.

“What did you do, Jude?” her mother asked, her voice firm despite her physical weakness.

“What do you mean?” asked Jude in a cool voice.

“Don’t act. It’s written all across your face,” her mother accused. “My daughter doesn’t remember her boyfriend. At all. And it happened—the breakup happened—right after you and Tristan returned from South Africa. I couldn’t believe it then when she told me she broke up with him, but now I’m starting to think there’s more to this.”

“First, how do you even know Tristan? And when did you start reconciling with your daughters?”

So, Jude knew this Tristan?

“Tristan is how I got my daughter back. Now, tell me, why is my daughter acting all strange?”

The long beat of silence that followed her question tempted Alexa to peek into the room. But not wanting to tip off her presence to either of them, she stayed in her position.

“If only I knew you were aware of Tristan and Alexa, then this mess wouldn’t have occurred…” Jude broke the silence at last, his voice low, as if he was talking to himself. “Mom didn’t see you in his memory or she would’ve told me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t think you know much about Tristan; surely, Alexa wasn’t that stupid to go singing about his secret to everyone close to her, so there’s no point in explaining to you. You won’t understand, Mom. ”

“What are you talking about, Jude? What secret?” her mother demanded.

“But you weren’t supposed to talk to her about him,” Jude continued as though he was uninterrupted. “No one was supposed to mention that abomination to her.”

“Jude, what are you doing?”

Hearing the panic in her mom’s voice, Alexa peered into the room. Jude stood over her mother, holding something in his hand, and her mother was staring at him with wide eyes, looking from his face to his hand.

Alexa’s heart raced. Should she interfere? Or should she stay where she was, see what he was up to, and report him?

Alexa decided to go with the former. She couldn’t stand by and let him hurt her mother. But the moment she moved, an urge she couldn’t fight off held her in her place; like the one that made her come out here in the first place. It was urging her to stay and watch.

And she did.

“Your precious daughter doesn’t remember her boyfriend,” Jude said, his voice sounding strange with its cold tone. “Neither does her boyfriend remember her. To both of them, the other is a faceless ex they couldn’t recall if you ask for more details. Every memory is modified in their minds. And the same is going to happen to you, dear Tiffany. When you wake up, you won’t remember that Tristan Knight ever existed in Alexa’s life or was the reason for your reunion.”

Then he blew on something in his hand.

Alexa watched, with horrified eyes, as a dark-colored powder floated toward her mother’s face. Her mother closed her eyes and fainted back into her pillow.

But what shocked her most was the strange feeling that suddenly overtook her being.

She had once been in her mother’s place.