Page 20

Nineteen

Void Heart

Two Years Later…

“ W hat is your hobby?”

“ Hobbies , actually,” Alexa corrected her date with a strained smile. “I love to read, cook, sing, listen to music, watch movies… yeah.” Then, to keep this blind date from getting any more awkward than it already was, she asked, “What about you?”

At least Alexa didn’t have to talk anymore. The man Cassie had set her up with, a former coworker of hers, talked about sports like it was the love of his life. With Alexa’s nods, hums, and forced surprised looks in the right places, it was all the man needed to talk enough for the two of them for the duration of their date.

By the time he was finished, they were done with their dinner too. Alexa wiped her mouth with a tissue, hiding a relieved sigh as she did so. She could finally go home.

Then she remembered he had offered to drive her back. Great. Just great. Now she’d have to endure him for the drive back as well because she had been too polite to refuse him.

Alexa bit back a groan, pasted on a smile, and waited as Derek paid for their dinner. Then he placed a hand on the small of her back and led her out of the restaurant.

This was her fifth date in the last two months alone. Cassie and Daphne had taken it upon themselves to help Alexa find her match. The two of them had been plotting behind her back, and when John accidentally made a slip about it, Alexa had berated them.

Although, in the end, they won. And Alexa was off to her first date in nearly three years with a total stranger who couldn’t keep his eyes off her—Daphne’s cousin’s friend’s someone.

That one had been a complete disaster.

Alexa was already in one of her moods then. When the guy learned she loved reading, he thought she meant non-fiction and began to ramble about some of his favorites. At first, she listened with a pasted-on smile, but when he asked if she had read a particular book, she told him she actually meant fiction books. The guy was flustered, apologized for misunderstanding her, and made the biggest mistake ever.

“No offense, but isn’t… reading fiction a little… I don’t know, immature for people like us?”

Before she knew it, Alexa had retorted, “Oh, and reading non-fiction has made you a mature man? No offense, but I don’t see one.”

That had been the end of the first date. Alexa deemed him a red flag and stormed out of the restaurant, with not a care in the world what her date and the people nearby thought about her.

Daphne’s face had screwed up in apology when Alexa told her this. She claimed she didn’t know he had an aversion to fiction, and to make it up to Alexa, she set her up on another blind date. This time, someone from her cousin’s church.

He wasn’t all that bad—until he disagreed about Christians reading fantasy and paranormal books. He claimed they were demonic. Alexa had rolled her eyes at him, but somehow, she managed to sit through the dinner and made it clear that she wasn’t interested in a second date.

Cassie and Daphne didn’t stop at that. They were determined to find a match for Alexa—all because she seemed lonelier than ever, with Cassie moving out with John to their new house. Their wedding had been only a few months ago.

Alexa had sworn to them she was doing alright. Besides, college kept her busy. And since she had chosen to attend one closest to home, she saw her sister often, and they called each other every day.

But Cassie wouldn’t take no for an answer when it concerned Alexa’s future. She was aware of her oath of keeping away from boys.

“How would you find your true love if you keep away from boys?” she had asked.

“Are you a bookworm or what?” Alexa had countered with a laugh. “If there’s someone out there for me, my being off-limits won’t stop him.”

Cassie had agreed with her reluctantly at that, but she did convince Alexa to go on a few more blind dates at the end. Alexa knew her sister was trying to look out for her, so she went to each one of them without a fight.

Until now. Because today, she was going to put an end to this. She couldn’t sit through one more of these dumb dates.

“Alexa?”

Alexa froze. That voice was unmistakably familiar. Her date stopped as well, and she turned toward the voice.

Leaning against one of the cars in the parking lot, with a cigarette between his fingers and smoke foaming from his mouth, was the one person she had thought she would never see again.

“Brandon?”

When did he get out of jail?

Brandon pushed himself off the car Alexa recognized as his and took two steps toward her and her date. His eyes darted back and forth between them before a smirk curled his lips.

“Dumped him too, didn’t you?” he asked, a mocking glint in his eyes. “I thought he meant something to you more than… others . Some knight he was.” He chuckled darkly. “Apparently, no one’s good enough for you. Or is it you, not good for them, Lexi ?”

Alexa’s blood boiled in her veins, even though she assumed he was drunk. Even though his words didn’t make sense. But then again, drunken people were incoherent.

She folded her arms and lifted her chin. “You’re simply jealous, Brandon. You heard my sister’s married.”

Brandon choked on his smoke. “Cassie is married ?”

“To John, yes. I’m so happy that my sister found someone good enough for her. I’ll be sure to pass along your congratulations. Come on, Derek.” Not waiting for Brandon’s reaction or for her date to catch up, Alexa walked toward where his car was parked.

“Who was that man?” Derek asked as he opened the door for her.

“My sister’s ex.” Alexa shut the door to cut him off from asking more.

But Derek resumed it once he got behind the wheel. “You two seem familiar. Like you had a history.”

Alexa snorted a laugh. “You are observant.”

He shrugged. “Well, I want to know if the girl I’m dating has her affection elsewhere.”

Alexa turned to face him fully. “I’m totally unattached. And I intend to stay that way until the right man comes along.”

“Oh.” The man got her cue. “So, you’re implying that I’m not that person.”

“Yes,” she clarified.

He chuckled awkwardly. “Well, thank you for wounding my ego. I was hoping we could have a second date.”

Alexa looked at his side profile incredulously as he focused on the road, refraining from speaking her mind. Did he really like to hear himself talk?

“So…” he prompted after a beat of silence. “ Did you have a history with that guy?”

“A very interesting one, actually,” Alexa said. “He had a big crush on me and tried to cheat on my sister with me. When I refused, he blackmailed me. But I reported him to the police, and now he’s in jail. Pretty sure he’s on parole now; it’s only been two years since he got in there.”

“You are more of a lioness than you look, aren’t you?”

Alexa gave him a sweet but calculating smile. “Only idiots mess with me.”

Derek swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and looked back at the road. He didn’t say another word for the rest of their ride until he pulled up in front of Alexa’s house and bid her goodnight.

He rode away, and Alexa crossed the lawn to her house. When she reached the porch, the front door flung open to reveal a mad-looking Cassie with her arms crossed against her chest.

“What a jerk!” she exclaimed, looking past Alexa. “Such a red flag!”

Alexa arched an eyebrow. “And what happened to my dear sister?”

“He didn’t escort you to the door!”

“Because I may have wounded his ego by telling him to his face that he wasn’t the right man for me.”

“That’s my girl!” John’s voice came from the living room, accompanied by a delightful laugh, before he entered her sight.

Alexa smiled at him like a little girl who was given candy. “Aw, thank you, Jonny.”

“But you’ve told the same to others, and they still escorted you.”

“When will you finally realize that none of the ‘suitors’ you and Daphne have been setting me up with are gentlemen like your husband?” she asked, and before Cassie could interrupt her, she continued, “Yes, I know what you’re going to say. The last three dates weren’t that bad, nor were those guys. But they weren’t just… right . Not right at all…”

Tears crammed into her eyes, and she blinked furiously to prevent them.

Cassie’s face paled in horror. “L-Lex, oh my, I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t know this was putting pressure on you. You’ve never shown any interest in boys since your last boyfriend, and I thought—I thought I should—”

“I know you meant well, Cass.” Alexa sniffled and met her sister’s gaze. “It’s just that… none of them are who I’m looking for. They lack what I’m looking for—don’t ask me what, because I don’t know what exactly I’m looking for either. I just know that they lack it. The next date you pick for me could be the richest man in the world, looking as if he stepped right out of my romance novels, but I bet he’d still lack something… something I’m looking for.”

“Like a missing part of you.”

Alexa looked up at John, meeting his gentle and pained gaze.

“That’s what you’re looking for and failing to find, little bug. A part of you. And you can only find it in the person who has stolen it from you before you even realized it was stolen.”

Alexa’s hand moved absently toward her chest, the gaping hole she’d been carrying in there throbbing at his words, as though punctuating them. Her lips trembled, but she clenched her jaw.

He was so right. But how could she be looking for a part of her that she’d never given to anyone, even in a particular person, before she’d met him? Alexa didn’t understand, but there was no denying that John had just put her feelings into words.

He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Lex.”

Alexa shook her head against his chest. “You did nothing wrong, Jonny.”

John exhaled. “I just hope I’m following the Lord’s path and being a good big brother in the best way I can.”

“Of course, you are,” Alexa chided him and pulled back to meet his rueful eyes. “You’re the best big brother I could’ve asked for. And you are supposed to know that by now, given how many times I’ve repeated the same words all these years.”

She smiled to lighten him up.

John returned it, even though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thank you, little one.” He squeezed her shoulder before stepping back.

Cassie pulled her into a fierce hug next. “I hate that I didn’t realize how you were feeling about all this. I’m so sorry, Lex. I was so careless—”

“Stop beating yourself up, Cass!” Alexa interrupted, hugging her sister tight. “I know you only meant well.”

“Did it turn out any well though?”

“ Well … it did help me realize I have impossibly high standards for men.”

“Stop joking!”

“No, seriously, who hopes to find her missing piece in a man she’s never met? Me! Unless he is carrying my missing part when I see him, he’s not meant for me. So far, none of the men I’ve met have. I mean, does that even make any sense?”

When Cassie didn’t respond, Alexa decided to take them away from this topic. Her sister worried about her enough—it explained why she and John had decided to wait for her to return from her date—she didn’t want to add to it.

She’d keep her loneliness and the hole in her heart just to herself.

“Guess who I ran into at the restaurant parking lot?”