Page 23

Twenty Two

Timeless Love

H er Tristan.

The force of the realization hit her like a mighty tidal wave. Memories flooded back. And the sight before her weighed heavily on her conscience.

Tristan was being struck by lightning, his body a conduit between the heavens and the earth. He stood there, like a magnet, attracting the lightning without intending to. Before she could stop herself, a scream tore from her lungs.

“ Tristan! ”

She raced down the steps toward him, her feet barely touching the ground. The warning bells in her mind went off, but at that moment, nothing mattered except reaching him.

She remembered everything .

Every moment, every kiss, every promise they had made. It had all been taken from her, buried deep within her mind, but now it was back. And so was he.

The lightning vanished, releasing Tristan from its hold. He began falling backward, but his head turned toward her voice, and his drooping eyes widened in recognition.

Then, a soul-shattering horror crossed his face, and he yelled, “ No !”

But Alexa didn’t stop. She threw herself to the ground and slid her lap beneath his head before it hit the ground. Tristan grunted in pain and panted for breath, but his eyes never left her.

“Lexa…”

She cupped his face. “Oh, Tristan…”

He reached up shakily to brush a hand against her cheek, as if trying to confirm that she was real. “You’re really here.”

“So are you,” she murmured, tears welling up in her eyes.

Tristan opened his mouth, but thunder clapped above them, silencing him. They flinched. Alexa realized she needed to get him inside before the next lightning struck. Heart pounding in fear, she made to rise, but Tristan stopped her.

“Lexa, I didn’t kill you.”

“What?”

“The lightning… You weren’t supposed to touch me…”

Missing pieces clicked into place—his touch after a direct strike could kill anyone. Even when they had been inside a building, shielded from the strike, touching him had always felt like shockwaves.

Her eyes widened. “Your curse is broken!”

Lightning flashed above them, as if to confirm her words.

Tristan flinched, but he wasn’t struck again. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Tears of inexplicable joy. Her Tristan was free .

But the joy didn’t reflect in Tristan’s eyes—they shone with anguish instead. Before she could ask him why, voices drifted closer, loud and panicked.

“Is the boy alright?”

“I swear I saw lightning strike him down—he’s not alright!”

“I’m fine,” Tristan grunted. He pushed himself off Alexa’s lap and rose to his feet. Usually, it took him half an hour to be able to move, but now, it seemed as though he hadn’t been struck at all.

Tristan reached down and pulled her up as well, and hugged her immediately to his side. And for the first time in over two years, Alexa felt like she was home. Back home.

“Are you sure, son?” an older man asked, sounding utterly concerned.

“Positive,” Tristan replied with a convincing smile for the onlookers.

Something was wrong. Alexa knew it, even though she couldn’t quite grasp it. Why else would he look like having his curse broken was worse than enduring it? She needed to be alone with him, as in, right now .

“Alexa!”

Wesley stumbled in through the crowd. His shoulders sagged in relief as he saw her.

“Thank God, I thought I heard—” He stopped short as his gaze drifted toward Tristan and saw the way he held her. “Who is this?”

Alexa winced inwardly, remembering her word to grab lunch with his family. But that Alexa had been a different one; one who didn’t know Tristan. The real her had just been resurrected.

“My boyfriend,” she murmured, looking up at Tristan. “My long-lost boyfriend.” She turned back to Wesley with a rueful expression. “I’m sorry, Wesley. I can’t dine with your family. My world just got turned upside down.”

A muscle ticked in Wesley’s jaw as he clenched it. He didn’t say anything or glare at them, but nodded, like a man taking his defeat.

“Thanks for understanding,” Alexa said and turned to Tristan. “Shall we go?”

Tristan nodded. He too had his jaw clenched, and she wanted to know what was going on inside his head.

“Is your car here? Mine broke down.” He looked around, and upon finding her Mustang, dropped his arms from her and took her hand before walking them toward it. “We have no time. We need to get to my house.”

His voice was urgent. There was a tremor in it.

He wasn’t trembling or sweating. He showed no sign of not being fine other than looking slightly weary. But somehow, Alexa knew there was more to it than met the eye.

Something drastic…

Something horrendous…

Something …

The final piece of the puzzle clicked into her mind.

She remembered Jude coming to her house that fateful evening two years ago. She remembered everything he told her and their fight before he wiped away Tristan from her memory.

Alexa’s hand trembled as she fumbled with the key fob. She didn’t even have the strength to press the unlock button.

Tristan’s hand wrapped around hers and took the key from her. He unlocked it and led her to the passenger seat, but she turned to him, not meeting his eyes, as she said, “N-no, I’ll drive.”

Tristan dipped his chin and stared into her eyes, seeing through her facade. He sighed. He had never once failed to see through her pretenses.

“You’re not in the condition to drive us, angel. No offense, but I’d very much like for us to get to my house in one piece.”

His tender gaze nearly made her lose her composure, but she held tight. “Why don’t you teleport us, then? I can take us to a secluded place.”

“I don’t think I can, angel.” Helplessness filled his beautiful eyes, and he touched a hand to her cheek. “I am not feeling strong enough. But I can drive.”

Alexa nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She got into the passenger seat and watched as he walked around the car to get behind the wheel. The hold on her tears released as he shut the door and turned to her.

They streamed down her cheeks and Alexa glared at the windshield. Tristan sucked in a deep breath and wiped them away with the back of his hand.

“Take us out of here.”

Tristan didn’t hesitate to obey. The moment they passed from the view of the church, silent sobs began to wrack Alexa’s body, and the hold on her composure slipped completely. A horrible wail escaped her, and she lurched forward, clutching her head in her hands.

“Lexa…” Tristan’s voice broke.

She tried to rein herself in, but she might as well have been trying to rein in an angry dog. The emotions that had been bottled up inside her, always unknown, now flowed out of her like a tsunami wave. It was unstoppable, combined with the cruel realization of the reality.

Anger. Hatred. Anguish. Devastation.

And grief.

She had just gotten him back. And she was going to lose him again. This time, forever.

“I have one hour,” Tristan said. “At least I got to see you. I didn’t think I would. And I couldn’t think of a better way to die.”

Alexa only cried harder and curled in on herself.

“I’m not trying to devastate you, angel. I want the two of us to accept that this is the reality.” His voice rose with the next words as he tried to talk past the sob fighting to break free. “ This is our fate.”

The car gave a side lurch, and Alexa jerked up to see Tristan had parked them on the side of the road. She glanced at him, blinking the tears from her eyes, and saw the tears running down his face. He glared ahead, and his hands gripped the wheel like he was going to break it.

She placed a hand on his arm. His red-rimmed eyes turned to her, and the pain in them tore through her soul.

“I hate this,” he whispered. “I hate this, angel.”

Alexa closed her eyes and released another stream of tears. Her chin quivered, and she clenched her jaw to ground it.

“How come the only thing I love and want in life is the very thing I can’t have?” he whispered.

She took in a sharp breath against yet another flurry of emotion. They needed to get to his house. They could not have their last moment together in the middle of the road, inside her car.

They needed to calm down, even though calm felt like a foreign feeling right now.

“Kiss me,” she blurted out, opening her eyes.

Tristan held her gaze for a moment before he unfastened his belt and leaned toward her in a flash. Alexa unfastened hers as well, and their lips met in urgency, the tamed fire of two years reigniting. He kissed her like she was life itself, and Alexa wished she was.

Only so she could keep him.

Her hand caressed the side of his neck, and his hand tangled in her hair. When she was out of breath, Alexa broke apart, but she did not pull away from their closeness. Tristan’s other hand came up to cradle the side of her face. He didn’t stop pressing a kiss to her lips between each breath like he was trying to ground himself with the kiss—just like Alexa drew strength from the kiss so she could make it through this drive and reach his house.

She met each of his kisses with equal tenderness. His hands stroked her hair and her cheeks, they wiped away her tears, and the warmth of his touch reached the cold center of her heart.

Alexa rubbed a hand over his chest and up to his shoulder in a repeated motion. They were offering each other comfort. As feeble as it was, it helped them stay somewhat grounded against the raging emotions until they reached Tristan’s house.

That didn’t mean tears weren’t still running from Alexa’s eyes or that she and Tristan weren’t holding each other’s hands in a vice-like grip, squeezing for strength whenever they felt they’d break down again. Their turmoil matched the weather outside; it had started raining, and every so often, there was a flash of lightning that made Tristan flinch, followed by a clap of thunder.

Tristan pulled the car into the driveway of his house, and they stepped out into the downpour. He took her hand as soon as she joined his side and led her inside. The moment they were in the entryway, he kicked the door shut and pulled her into his arms.

“I need to call my dad,” Tristan murmured, his voice hoarse. “He might be busy, though.”

She cleared her throat. “It doesn’t matter. Call him.” At his nod, she tried to pull back, but his arms tightened around her.

“Don’t,” he said, his voice pleading and breaking at the same time. “I don’t want you out of my arms.”

Alexa sagged back against him.

Tristan took his phone to dial his dad when Albert’s caller ID appeared on the screen. His phone must be on silent because she didn’t hear it ring.

“Bet his memories are returning, too,” he muttered before sliding the answer button. “Dad?”

“Trist, where are you?” Albert’s voice was urgent.

“Home,” Tristan said, pressing his cheek to Alexa’s hair. “With Alexa.”

“You found her,” Albert marveled. “Trist, I remember… everything . Merissa tricked us!”

“Yes, she did.” Tristan exhaled.

“Don’t worry. We won’t let her win—”

“It’s too late, Dad.” Tristan sighed, his voice so hopeless Alexa had to bite down on her bottom lip to stop herself from whimpering.

“No, it’s not ,” Albert protested sternly. “We will be extra careful—”

“Dad,” Tristan interjected, his voice breaking. “The lightning struck me. I’m… dying . I want you home, please.”

Alexa buried her face back in his chest. A thunderclap sounded outside.

“Come home before I die,” Tristan whispered to the dead silence that followed from the other end of the line. “I don’t have much time left.”

He hung up as the silence continued.

“How much longer?” Alexa managed to whisper.

“One hour after the strike.” He walked them toward the staircase. “That’s what I heard Merissa say.”

Rage and hatred brimmed inside her. “I’m going to kill her,” she snarled, not caring how un-Christian it was of her to say it. “I will not let her live.”

Tristan stopped and grabbed her chin, making her look up at him. His face was so serious he might as well have been scolding her when he said, “I don’t want you anywhere near her. Do you hear me, angel? Stay away from that evil woman—and her son. I don’t want you to go after them.”

Alexa’s eyes flashed. “I will decide what I must do.”

“You are not going after them!” His eyes implored, without losing their sternness. “Promise me, angel.”

Alexa didn’t.

“Lexa, they’re dangerous!”

“What can they possibly do to ruin my life more than they already have, huh?” Her glare faltered, and her lips trembled. “I’m going to lose you. T-there’s nothing to take away after that.”

Tristan’s face fell in anguish. He opened his mouth but closed it and gulped. “I still don’t want you anywhere near them,” he whispered.

Alexa sighed and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to give him pain upon pain. This was his last hour. And right now, his will was her command. She opened her eyes and nodded.

“I promise.”

The smallest of smiles softened his face. The sight that usually lifted her heart crushed it today. “Come on, we have a lot to talk about.”

He led her upstairs, holding her firmly to his side as her knees shook.

Her Tristan was dying . In a matter of time, he would be just a memory.

He wouldn’t be able to look at her with those beautiful, electric-blue eyes brimming with love and adoration. He wouldn’t be able to hold her, call her name, or tell her that he loved her. She wouldn’t be able to hear his laugh or see his smile.

His heart would stop beating for her. And he would leave her forever.

When they reached his room, Tristan took off his jacket, and they sat down on the bed, arms still around each other. Neither of them could bear to be separated again—at least until they would permanently be.

“I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve missed you, even though I didn’t know it was your absence that developed the gaping hole in my heart—or that you existed,” Tristan began.

“Me too,” she whispered. “It… it felt like the time before I met you all over again. I thought I was grieving my dad, that he was the reason for the hole in my heart, but… it was you.”

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled into her hair. “I’m so sorry, angel.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Tristan.” Alexa pulled her head back to look at him. “None of this is your fault.”

He stared at her with so much want in his eyes. “I just wanted to live—with you, for you. That’s all I’ve ever wished for in life.” Tears filled his eyes. “I shouldn’t have taken that witch up on her offer and walked straight into her trap. If I hadn’t been so blind and thought she actually wanted to help me, I would’ve been able to enjoy what little time I had with you, and not leave all my dreams behind unfulfilled.”

“I wish this was different, too,” Alexa whispered, then tore her eyes to the ceiling and raised her voice. “God, I wish this was different!” Her head fell back against his chest, and she sobbed.

She wanted to be strong for him, but she was weaker than she liked to admit.

Tristan’s fingers stroked her hair. His chest shuddered against her. “There’s something I need to tell you.” At her silence, he continued, “I was wrong to make you choose between me and God that day.”

Alexa didn’t want to talk about it now. Of all things, the reminder of her carelessness that nearly ruined everything between them was the last thing she wanted to talk about with him in his final hour.

She shook her head.

“No, angel, this is important,” he insisted gently. “I made you betray God—even though it was the bracelet’s influence. I didn’t realize it until I took it off before the ritual. I knew I would never do such a thing on my own, even though I didn’t share your faith. You have to know, angel, I respect you as much as I love you, and I didn’t do it—”

Alexa pulled back to look at him. “Tristan, it’s all right—”

“It’s the reason Merissa’s spell affected you!”

Alexa recoiled in shock. “What?”

He sighed. “She said the spell wouldn’t work on ‘true Christians’ because they’re under God’s protection. No offense, angel, but you or Cass or my dad weren’t in that category.” Then his eyes widened, as though he remembered something. “Wait—but John did!”

Alexa gaped. “John? No, no way. He—”

“Sweetheart, John and I have been friends for the past two years, and there were times when he slipped something that I, as memory-wiped Tristan, wasn’t supposed to know. Man, I didn’t realize it until now—it makes sense. He—he remembered me.”

“And he didn’t tell me?” Alexa felt betrayed.

Tristan stared at the floor, hurt and disbelief flashing in his eyes. He shook his head, as if trying to understand how John could’ve done this to them. “He could’ve helped us. I-I don’t understand…”

“That doesn’t sound like John at all…”

“I know, but I’m also sure he wasn’t under the spell. He could’ve helped us, Lexa. If we had met again, like the day you came here to see my car, the spell would’ve broken.” Then his eyes widened again, as if remembering something else, just before he closed them and released a painful sigh. “ Which would’ve happened if the weather hadn’t been threatening on John and Cassie’s wedding day. I was invited—John invited me, but I lied I had a fever and sent Dad alone instead.”

Alexa gaped at Tristan. There were opportunities when they could’ve met, but they didn’t because the odds appeared as bad weather?

“A month later, I visited Cassie and John at their new house,” Tristan continued, opening his eyes to glare at the floor. “Cassie wanted me to meet you. When she called you, you were at the mall with Daphne. So I left, saying I’d meet you next time, but I never got the opportunity.”

Tristan fisted a hand in his hair like he wanted to tear it out of his head.

“You were right, Lexa.” His tormented eyes met hers. “We wouldn’t have met any other way than how we did—in our brokenness. It feels like God is mocking me right now for ever daring to challenge Him. Have you noticed? The fate that befell us after I left for South Africa was the opposite of everything I denied you about. He kept us apart these two years to show me that there was no other way we would’ve met than how He designed it for us.

“If… if I had known our happiness—our future—was the price… I wouldn’t have acted so harshly and stupidly.”

It stabbed her heart to see him taking all the blame on himself. “The bracelet made you—”

“Yes, the bracelet made me,” he interjected. “It made me spill what had been in my heart—what I truly felt about God and your faith, despite respecting your views and beliefs. It may have been the bracelet’s influence, but what I said were my own words.

“Though, forcing you to choose between me and God—I would blame that on the bracelet because I would never, ever do something that hurt your feelings. And I know I broke your heart with that demand. You have no idea how badly I regretted it when I realized what I had done. Can you forgive me? Because if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have been affected by the memory spell. You would’ve found me when I returned. I would’ve remembered us, and things would’ve been so different…” Tristan leaned his head to hers. “I’m so sorry…”

There was no point in telling him he didn’t do anything wrong or that there was nothing to forgive. What he had done was wrong, even if it wasn’t something he did on his own. He had broken her heart that day. His demand had devastated her. But now, he was seeking her forgiveness. He wasn’t afraid to admit he was wrong and ask for forgiveness.

She loved him all the more for it. And it hurt.

“I forgive you,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. “And I love you. I never stopped loving you.”

“I love you too, my angel,” he whispered back. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me—”

“Stop,” she cut in sternly. “Don’t even go there.”

Tristan took in a sharp breath as if to rein himself in. “Who was that boy at church?”

It took her a moment to realize he meant Wesley. “No one important.”

“Were you about to go on a date with him?”

She sighed sadly. “Only the Alexa who didn’t remember the love of her life was. She was also thrown into a series of blind dates by her sister and her best friend, where she looked for her missing half in those men and failed, and swore that she wasn’t ever going on a date again.”

She peered at him through her lashes to see his reaction.

“Is he good?”

“Who?”

“The boy from church?”

Alexa pulled back and narrowed her gaze. “What are you asking?”

“I’m trying to say something, actually,” he said softly, a sad smile pulling at his lips.

Alexa immediately realized what it was. She began to shake her head. “No. No . Don’t even think about it.”

“Ange—”

“No, Tristan!” She shot him a fierce glare. “There was no one before you, and there will be no one after you either. It was you, it is you, and it will always be you and only you.”

Tristan closed his eyes. Anguish was written all over his face.

“How could you?” she whispered, staring at him.

“Because I want you to be happy.”

“Don’t you realize that you are my sole happiness, Tristan? Without you…” Her throat closed up, and she trailed off, unable to complete that sentence. A moment later she whispered, “Don’t ask me to be happy. I cannot.”

He opened his eyes. Tears shone in them. “I just don’t want you to be alone.”

“I’d rather be alone than try to find the missing part of my heart in someone else,” she said defiantly. “Because I wouldn’t .”

He had no idea that when he left, he would take the best part of her heart with him and leave the rest in pieces. Or maybe he did know, and that was why he was trying to convince her to find happiness after he was gone.

If only he knew that was the most impossible thing he had ever asked of her.

Tristan touched his forehead to hers again. “I don’t want you to be alone.”

She sighed heavily and delayed her response. Her eyes roamed over his face. Her beautiful Tristan. His features were more mature and sharper than the last time she saw him. The moment she realized this, the crack in her heart expanded. Tears blurred her vision.

“I will try to pull through knowing I had been the luckiest girl in the world while it lasted. That I had the most epic love ever, that you loved me even as you took your last breath—”

That you loved me until your heart stopped beating. That you looked at me with love and adoration like you always did, until you stopped looking. That you died loving me.

She couldn’t complete her words. It was too much to bear. Moving her head to his shoulder, she pressed her face against the fabric of his button-down and muffled the sound of her cries.

She couldn’t accept it. In a matter of time, he was going to leave her.

In a matter of time, her dream of forever with him would be shattered.

“Sometimes, I’ve felt like I don’t deserve you,” Tristan whispered over her head, holding her close. “Your love. Your attention. You making me worthy of being seen, asking for my opinion in things you didn’t even need to, looking at me like I was the only good thing in the world…” He took a deep breath. “I swear, Alexandra Ford, I didn’t see light until I saw you.

“You were once my fantasy. Now you’re my reality. To leave this world knowing that you love me and will love me forever is more than I could ask for. And I thank you for bringing love and light into my life. My gravity may be slipping, and I may take flight at any moment, but I promise to keep falling for you, my angel. Always.”

Alexa didn’t trust herself to speak. She pressed closer to him as if trying to mold into one with him. The only sound between them was the rhythm of their breaths, entwined like their hearts.

“I’m so scared,” she whispered finally.

“I know,” Tristan murmured, his fingers tracing circles on her back. “But you’ve always been stronger than you realize, darling. I’ve seen you when no one else did. You are the strongest, bravest woman I ever know.”

She shook her head. “Not without you. I can’t be strong without you.”

“You can,” he insisted, lifting his hand to cup her cheek and guiding her face up to meet his gaze. “You have to be. For both of us.”

Alexa swallowed, her throat tightening around the sobs that threatened to break free again. “I don’t want to be strong. I just want you. I want us. I want… forever.”

“I want that too, love. But sometimes, forever is just a different kind of promise. One that doesn’t end, even if we do.”

She closed her eyes, letting his words sink in, but they only made the ache in her chest grow deeper.

“I need you to promise me something.”

Alexa’s heart stuttered, her eyes fluttering open.

“Promise me you’ll keep living.” His eyes penetrated hers, their blue depths filled with a plea she couldn’t ignore. “You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever known. You have so much light and so much love to give. Don’t let my absence take that away from you.” A tear slipped from his eye. “Don’t let anything or anyone take that away from you.”

Her mind and heart were at war. How could she promise him something like that?

But the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. He wasn’t asking for her to forget him, to move on in the conventional sense. No. He was asking her to live, to honor their love by continuing to find joy in life, even if it took time.

Even if it hurt.

“I promise,” she whispered reluctantly. “I promise I’ll try.”