Page 40 of Let the Game Begin

“Yes,” I admitted, still trying to control my curiosity and not glance down. Just feeling him against me was enough to know that I was done for—I was going to be sore tomorrow.

“You can’t have passion without nudity,” he informed me. He shifted slightly, lining himself up with my entrance, the place where my body would welcome his. I parted my lips and exhaled rapidly. I grabbed his biceps and he gave me a reassuring look, warm and intense. In his eyes, I saw the sun, the moon, the stardust sprinkled across the night sky.

All at once, I was ready. I wanted it.

It was then that his member began to glide slowly over my sex, presaging the pleasure it would give me once it got inside. The feeling was new and overpowering; so beautiful that it hurt.

“Ready?” he whispered in my ear. I flattened my hands against his powerful back, gripped his pelvis between my knees and looked at him.

“Yes.” I touched my nose to his and Neil kissed me. At the same moment, I felt his penis pushing against my opening. He applied a little more pressure when my muscles resisted and then, with a single thrust, he slowly entered me.

I let out a hiss of pain, exhaling it against his lips as I felt him fully, in all his glory.

“Relax.” He thrust again and my body molded itself to him, inch by inch, accommodating him. It felt cumbersome inside me, and I gave a pained moan at the acute discomfort of it. I bit my lower lip and he halted, concerned.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly. My knees were shaking and my heart had begun to pound. I was cold and sweating and yet, I still felt good. It was an odd sensation—painful and pleasant at the same time. My body seemed too small to fit around his. Thinking about this, I instinctively looked down at the place where we were joined. Neil was only halfway inside me. His penis was big, enormous. My anxiety swelled. I couldn’t do this. It was too much. I… I…needed to get away.

“Your body can take me. Don’t be afraid.” He kissed the corner of my mouth and stroked my cheek with his thumb. It was incredible the way he seemed to read my mind. Had he been in this situation before? Perhapssome of his exes had been virgins like me? The thought sobered me. I wanted exclusivity. I wanted to be the onlysomethingfor him, but with Neil, that was probably an impossibility.

“Quit thinking,” he said before pushing deeper into me. I let out a moan of pain and pleasure, but then I immediately felt ashamed and shut my mouth.

He grinned at my involuntary reaction, stopped again, and we stared at each other for an indefinite period of time. Neil was thoughtful, while I was like a child, incapable of doing anything for herself.

“I should put on a condom, but I don’t want to get up, walk naked down the hallway, go into my room, and grab one…” Neil had thought of a crucial detail that I myself had completely missed, and I cursed my stupidity. Protection was essential, how could I have forgotten? I’d been too horny to really comprehend what was happening.

“So?” I prompted him.

“Are you on the pill or anything? If you were, we wouldn’t need one,” he suggested and my eyes went wide. Sex between us could be even more intimate—maybetoointimate. I nodded and he shot me a sexy smile.

We communicated silently, then, our breath intermingling as we absorbed the feeling of our bodies adjusting to one another. Neil licked my bottom lip; he liked tasting me, and I liked it too. He stuck his tongue into my mouth, and automatically I raised my shoulders up slightly to suck on it.

Something flashed in his gleaming eyes, and he began penetrating me slowly again, stealing my breath. He sank into me and withdrew at a moderate, carefully calculated pace. I could see from the rigidity of his back muscles just how hard he was working to control himself and avoid hurting me.

He pulled out a little bit at a time before thrusting back in firmly, banking his strength. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. His elbows rested on either side of my face, his forearms supporting his weight and leaving his chest free to press down on me.

He continued to move carefully, moderately, but something in his face told me that this was costing him.

Maybe I was supposed to do something, too? Participate, generate the right sort of chemistry and ease the way? The pain had evaporated by thenand had been replaced by pleasure. I was yielding to him, accepting him without any barriers—physical or psychological—and I wanted him to be able to let go as well. So I began touching him back, mimicking his languid, measured motions. He breathing turned into a pant and I was delighted to realize that he was enjoying my taking initiative.

“Selene…” he gasped. We were both sweating and breathless yet neither of us had reached our climax.

“What is it?” I pushed damp strands of hair away from his forehead and stared at him. He was somehow even more beautiful with his face tightened in expectation.

“If you keep moving like that, I’ll probably lose control. I’m trying to be gentle and…”

I touched his lip with my thumb and he licked it, bold and lustful.

“Be yourself,” I told him. Neil gave me an amused grin and nipped at my finger.

“I like fucking, Selene. Kisses, soft touches, good manners—that’s not me. Just enjoy this moment; I promised you I’d go easy.”

So he was just faking this?

He moved to kiss me again, but I turned my face away to stop him. Once again, I found myself feeling small and too hopelessly naive to even understand his feelings. But I knew then, deep in my heart, that I needed to resist that impulse, to stop allowing myself to be the victim. So I looked him in the eye again and caught him giving me an evaluating look.

“So do it, then. Come on. Show me who you are, Neil,” I challenged him, and his forehead creased up. My request surprised him, but I would rather he showed me his true face than the mask he felt the need to wear instead.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” He shook his head as he spoke, sounding derisive.