Page 7 of Let It Snow (Eden’s Omegaverse #7)

I jump up and run to the shower, where I take care of my erection problem quickly.

I shove thoughts of the gorgeous, muscular, blonde alpha out of my head and try to replace them with another alpha, a random one with short black hair…

but after a moment, I notice his hair in my mental image has changed color and grown longer.

Blonde again, long strands falling over my shoulders as he leans over me, his breath tickling my ear.

Alright, if it has to be blonde, it has to be blonde… I give up, finishing myself off in resigned, yet sweet defeat, blasting my jizz against the wall while in my head the fantasy blonde alpha is filling me deep. That’s just how it goes when you fixate on something… dammit.

I sigh and rinse myself off, which is fortunate, because five minutes later I hear a knock on the door.

This time it’s not Lake.

It’s an unexpected visit from my brother… Ragnar.

To be fair, I didn’t show up all day yesterday, so he has every right to be worried.

His massive stature fills the room; he has to bend to get in. First he glances around, then his eyes, identical to mine, one gold, one silver, lock on me with curiosity.

"Hello, Summer. How are you doing?"

I swallow and sit on the side of the bed.

Ragnar darts a gaze to the sheets as if searching for a nest, but there is just a flat comforter spread evenly. He perches on the edge too, so he doesn’t have to stand, otherwise he’d have to keep his head lowered. He is 7’1", so it’s hard for him to find a place where he actually isn’t hunched.

For a while he stares at me before saying, "Sun and I are chilling and regaining our strength, and we’re both worried about you. You stayed in your room the whole day… are you all right?"

He tilts his head, peering into my eyes, so I turn away to avoid revealing too much.

"Lake told us you had a… memory slip-up yesterday. Is it… coming back or not so much?"

I shrug.

My brother is silent for a while, then he says quietly, "Are you having problems with your speech? Is it hard to talk?"

I nod.

He sighs and says, "Have you reconsidered the doctor thing? You refused to see one when we arrived here, but maybe…?"

I violently shake my head.

Ragnar sighs and mutters, "Well, then I have no other idea. Except for you to stay here. I know it may sound strange, but I still think this is a good place for you to recover. Moon thought so too, and we should probably trust him, considering he’s a clairvoyant.

Remember?" Now Ragnar’s tone is slightly ironic.

His eyes search my face. "Moon, you know… our third brother, my twin."

I make a face as if to scold him for thinking I forgot about Moon.

Ragnar brightens up. "I’m relieved you still remember him. I was kinda worried you’d lost it… all. Our past. But good. Now I know you’re still there…" He taps his temple.

Another moment of hesitation, as he rubs his chin, then he adds, "Will you go down for breakfast? It’s just starting."

I shake my head.

He sits like this for a while, pensive.

"Maybe it’s for the better you don’t feel any temptation to leave your room. The media can’t shut up about the FBI raid on the Ferros’ fortress. People are reading a lot about this family. Your photos also resurfaced…"

I clench my jaw and curl up a bit. Crap, that’s bad.

Ragnar notices it and goes silent for a while. "Let’s hope the FBI won’t show up, okay? You’re not the one involved in the Lowen assassination attempt. It was all Anzo Ferro."

I have no idea what he means, but then he slowly stands up. Good, maybe it’s better not to dig into it.

"I will check on you later. I ordered something for you; it should arrive today or tomorrow morning." He gives me a wink. "It may be of use!"

With that said, he walks toward the door, and the moment his hand lands on the handle he turns to me and adds, "Is… umm, Snow bothering you? I heard from Sun; he saw him playing under your balcony."

I quickly and decisively shake my head, and Ragnar subtly smirks.

"All righty, Summer. I’ll be back later. If you need anything, Sun and I are one floor below in the first room to the left of the stairs."

After I nod, he goes out, and I let out a sigh. I wish I could tell him more, but I simply can’t afford to use all my strength to push through the speech blockage.

Feeling impatient and strangely hyped up, I circle the room.

Ten minutes later, Lake brings me food and a few of his clothes.

"I heard you had a visit from Ragnar. He was very worried about you yesterday."

But as I do not reply, he adds, "I brought you some of my clothes."

He lays them on the bed so I can look.

His T-shirts fit almost perfectly. He’s slender, only an inch taller than me. He puts everything into the closet with a warm smile and reassures me once more to relax and not worry.

Lake again mentions the mall trip he’s planning, but there’s no pressure for me to join.

He says I can come down for meals if I want, but if I’d rather stay, he or Jordan, their beta help, will bring food up. Lake also explains he still works part-time, so sometimes he’s not around.

I don’t answer. I’ve talked enough yesterday, and I’m worried it will again leave me with a pounding headache.

Lake just smiles again and slips out quietly.

After devouring the contents of the tray, I go back to circling the room frantically…

What do I search for? Nesting supplies? Silly, because there are none here. Nothing that would resonate with me.

Still, as I wander around the room in desperation, I decide to check the rest of the cabinets. But nothing new is here, I already went through everything yesterday thoroughly enough…

However, while I stroll through the space, I notice one wooden tile is slightly loose. As I lean in to investigate, I discover it sounds different than the rest.

I press my fingernail into the crack and gently pry up the floorboard, and to my surprise, a little compartment is revealed with a small box inside.

Wow, jackpot for a teenager! I peek inside.

There’s… a lighter, an ashtray, some old keys with a trinket shaped like a penis, a glass globe with Santa in a dusting of fake snow, a box of expired condoms, and a long object wrapped in red holiday paper with a note that reads, "The only dick you’ll ever touch. " Oh wow, that’s brutal.

I unwrap the red star-patterned paper, and inside is… a dildo. Kind of toy-like, pink, pretty tacky, but with a suction cup at the base, decorated with little cartoon eggplants scattered all over it.

I can’t help but smirk. A mean little Christmas gift, but apparently never used, still wrapped in its thin factory plastic.

I sigh and put it back in the box. Well… I shouldn’t be snooping. The previous tenant definitely wouldn’t have approved.

What now?

Maybe I should take Lake’s offer and go down to accompany him on a mall trip?

Or not.

Perhaps I should…

What? What?

Determined, I open the balcony door and instead of glancing at the lake or the pool below, I turn my back to it and look upward, toward the house roof.

It’s actually… basically around me, since the room is in the attic and the window is a dormer. Climbing onto the roof only takes a little pull-up on the gutter that runs along the edge, then swinging a leg over the hot metal shingles, which is exactly what I do.

A moment later I’m on the sloped roof. Some people might be scared, but I’m not.

I climb higher toward the center. There’s a flattened section in the middle with an inspection hatch, you could probably reach it from the attic.

I look around. Standing where I am, no one can see me because of the building’s unusual front profile, a bit like a Greek pediment with the raised roofline around it.

That means I’m hidden from the driveway. Only someone standing at the lake’s edge would spot me, if they were paying really close attention.

I’ve always had a thing for roofs. I know for sure I used to sit on my parents’ roof. And I’ve sat on the roof of a mafia fortress too.

Why?

I lift my eyes to the sky.

A flash of memory sweeps over me. The open space, wide, blue, and light clouds… I close my eyes and feel the wind on my cheeks. It’s a warm day, maybe I could…

What?

My back starts to itch.

What is that?

A sudden thought hits me like lightning.

What if the truth about me isn’t just my magic? What if there’s more, something more… weird?

The actual reason I have magic.

I bow my head, as if the sky itself is weighing on me.

Fear comes. Denial follows.

I don’t want any more differences. Any more strangeness. Any more otherness.

I am a freaking alien enough among humans! I simply want to belong, to be like everyone else.

Frowning, I slide down from the roof plane onto the balcony, a lump of panic growing in my throat.

Who could I talk to about this?

Ragnar? Moon?

Or… Snow?

Each option has pros and cons, and none of them feel right enough to act on, not yet.

One thing I know: my anxiety is rising.

I go back to my room and bury myself under the comforter.

My life… erased by them.

A stupid idea crosses my mind: maybe my memory loss is more of a blessing, something I might once have wished for without knowing it.

I press my face into the pillow and a tear rolls down my cheek. I don’t want any of this. I’m not cut out for whatever this is. I want normalcy.

And… something else.

A shy need.

Someone to hold me.

◆◆◆

The rest of the day I spend holed up in my room, feeling just… awful.

From time to time I read some articles on the net, some about the Ferro family.

Ragnar is right, it’s all over the news.

I stumble upon a blog called The Truth Only I Know, where there are some very detailed pieces of information about their family. As I scroll through the article listing all members I find the names.

Anzo Ferro and Summer Larsen… correction! Summer Ferro.

That’s my present surname!

A married couple.

One year ago, after the beta capo Anzo divorced his previous husband, Moon Larsen, he married me.

Me.