Page 54 of Let It Snow (Eden’s Omegaverse #7)

December hits me with an unexpectedly heavy wave of stress.

The entire Nolan family shows up at the house, all the sons together with their partners. It’s their annual tradition, and I have to deal with it.

For the first few days while they’re here, I barely leave my room, overwhelmed. In the evenings Snow sneaks in to be with me, we make love, and I’m grateful he doesn’t push me to come downstairs and mingle.

No idea why, but the stress is almost paralyzing.

And… they’re all True Mates couples.

Storm and Damien, Skye and Soren, Rain and Kay.

Some of their cousins show up from time to time, too.

The idea of having to talk about my status with Snow in front of them feels overwhelming.

It’s one thing to accept it quietly in my own heart, but an entirely different reality to discuss it with a crowd of strangers.

I can already imagine their curious, piercing eyes on me.

They’re not True Mates, but Twin Souls. What does it even mean?

I’m just at the beginning of my journey of blending into this family, only just getting started, so I still don’t want to be different, I want to smoothly fit in. For now, I can’t cure myself of this uneasiness.

The house is full of voices and footsteps, so unnerving!

Obviously even my already established Bond with Snow hasn’t really changed my baseline personality, because my nerves still feel like they’re shot.

Is it time to accept that this is just who I am?

Maybe no matter how much magic is involved, I’ll always stay this way, a skittish creature hiding in corners.

Snow and I… a pair of basement-dwellers.

One day, while standing on the balcony, I see the whole family gathered out on the patio.

Musical instruments in their hands, laughs, voices, fire crackling. It’s a massive group, and I can literally feel a lump rise in my throat. I’m convinced they’ll notice me and start talking about me, so I slip back inside immediately, my heart pounding.

That night, Snow comes to me as usual, his hands immediately finding my body.

Gosh, I wait for these moments, this release, this oblivion, and for the magical spectacle of energy.

After that first feverish and hurried release, when we’re lying next to each other, curled together in my somewhat better, but still imperfect nest, I murmur,

"Is your dad mad at me for not coming out to the guests? He probably hoped I would…"

Snow snorts. "Summer, I don’t know how to explain this to you, but my dad doesn’t even have a concept of being mad at anyone, especially not at you.

My dad wasn’t even mad at Theo, and back then I was nineteen and Theo was thirty, married with three kids already.

Most parents would have lost it. He just advised me to be cautious. That’s all."

"Yeah, sorry, but I’m not sure I’d be so understanding if some cougar seduced my innocent nineteen-year-old son…"

Snow runs his hand gently through my hair, then musses it up a little.

"I wasn’t that innocent."

"What? I thought Theo was your first."

Snow grimaces lightly, tilts his head back and slides an arm underneath it, staring at the ceiling.

"No. When I was sixteen, my parents wanted me to get a more formal education in music and composition, so I was taking lessons with a certain music professor at his house."

"What?! That’s even worse than with Theo! A music professor?"

Snow huffs out a laugh.

"Hey, slow down. It’s not what you’re thinking.

The professor had a son exactly my age, a beta.

He was musically gifted too and liked to hang out with us during lessons.

We connected. Sometimes we chatted online.

He was kind of withdrawn, very focused on his studies, which worked for me. He had that non-intrusive personality…"

"Basement vibe?"

Snow chuckles softly. "Well, guilty as charged. I’ve always liked the quieter type. I wouldn’t make a good match for an extrovert."

"So a beta, not an omega?"

"That’s how it turned out. For about a year our relationship was more like a friendship, but then he was getting ready to leave for college, and I knew we wouldn’t have a chance to see each other much anymore.

One day he showed up at my place unexpectedly, told me his parents had gone away for the weekend.

He slipped into my basement, and we spent the night there.

He was my first. But our relationship couldn’t continue like that because his dad sent him to an elite music college on the other side of the country. "

I stay quiet for a moment, feeling a bit unsure.

"Were you in love with him?"

Snow sighs. "You know, the first time always has a kind of magic, but I don’t know if I’d call it that.

I definitely liked him a lot, but he didn’t have a…

relationship personality, let’s say. He was scared of showing any softer emotions that could be considered a weakness.

He was a neurotic perfectionist. There was no room in him for mistakes… or vulnerability."

I'm not sure what he implies.

"What do you mean?"

"Dennis was focused on his career. He wanted to make a name for himself in the music business, to be recognized as a composer. The problem was that he was good, but something was missing. He tried too hard, double-checked everything, second-guessed himself constantly. His compositions were technically correct and praised by professors, but they always said he was more of a craftsman following musicology guidelines than a free, creative artist. No spark. He was deeply unhappy, depressed, frustrated that he’d hit a glass ceiling he couldn’t break through. "

"But that was after college, right?"

"Yes. We hardly ever saw each other at the time. He lived on the other side of the country. We mostly kept in touch online. But he’s tied to the story of my career too."

For a second I think I’ve misheard.

"Career? I thought you were a music teacher."

Snow smiles faintly. "Have you ever seen me teaching? Well, except for our music lessons. It’s long in the past. But most people think that, and I don’t correct them."

"Okay… you’ve got my full attention. Want to tell me about it?"

Snow stays quiet for a moment, still staring at the ceiling. Then he says,

"Back then, right after graduating, Dennis was in a really bad place, mentally. He’d entered a few competitions and projects, and his compositions were rejected in the first rounds.

At one point he even ended up under suicide watch.

He was always on medication. I mentioned it to Theo once, and he said he could put in a word with Tim’s brother-in-law, you know, Lowen.

They’ve got powerful connections. And sure enough, Sebastien Lowen whispered a word to someone; it turned out a certain young director was looking for a composer for his film, someone affordable because he didn’t have much of a budget.

I reached out to Dennis with the offer, but…

he turned me down. He was so depressed he said he couldn’t handle it and told me I should write the score instead… "

I laugh, glancing at Snow’s beautiful profile against the dim background of the room.

"Wow, he waited so long for a chance and then didn’t want it?"

"Well, I’d already sensed it would go that way, so I had a scenario ready for him, one that would work for both of us. I told him, fine, I’d write the score, but… it would be released under his name."

I prop myself up on my elbow and stare at Snow.

"Are you serious? Why wouldn’t you sign it with your own name? That’s…"

I trail off. We look at each other for a moment, and suddenly I get it. This is just Snow.

The basement-dweller.

He’s never wanted the spotlight, even though he’s incredibly talented. He prefers to stay on the sidelines. It all makes sense; it all fits.

"And Dennis agreed? Wow. That must’ve triggered a full-blown case of imposter syndrome. Every possible insecurity he could’ve had…"

Snow chuckles and glances at me.

"You see, with Dennis it’s complicated. In a lot of ways, all he wanted was to prove to his dad that he’d made it, that his name was finally recognized.

As a beta, he grew up being told that a career was the only thing that mattered, that he had to obsessively focus on it.

And that one single goal was slipping through his fingers.

He felt miserable not being able to show off achievements to his dad, instead delivering failure after failure when his compositions kept getting rejected from competitions.

His relationship with his dad turned toxic.

Dennis carried constant resentment for the pressure, while his dad just saw him as a disappointment. "

"I really don’t think passing off someone else’s talent as your own can ever end well for anybody," I mutter cynically.

"And yet that was exactly what happened. Dennis signed off on that composition with his own name. He handled the director, polished the details, made small tweaks when production needed them. That kind of behind-the-scenes technical fine-tuning actually suited him. And when the movie came out, it was a huge box-office hit. That same director shot a sequel not long after, which blew up even bigger, and Dennis’s name skyrocketed.

The score won an award, and… Dennis was the one who walked up on stage at a film festival and accepted it himself. "

I sit up sharply, unable to stay still.

"No way. What movie is it?"

"Part one, Alien: Invasion; part two, Alien: Reckoning."

I almost explode and grab my head.

"Those are two of the biggest hits of the last decade! I know their soundtracks inside out, it’s insane. I even had them on repeat back then. I can’t believe that was your work. It’s brilliant!"

Snow laughs softly, almost embarrassed.

"Thank you, that’s kind."

"I still can’t believe you gave up all that fame. He didn’t deserve that award; only you did!" I rub my eyes in disbelief.