Page 42 of Let It Snow (Eden’s Omegaverse #7)

Can I even call him mine? He’s not my True Mate, but still… I need him. To see his face, his beautiful face, to feel his soft touch on me when I pretended to sleep, it seemed almost… loving.

On impulse, I check my phone.

No texts, no missed calls.

My throat tightens. So Snow isn’t looking for me. He isn’t trying to stop me. He isn’t… fighting for me?

Does he know about our status? Of course.

Is he disappointed I ran? Or maybe even angry?

I swallow hard. Well, no wonder. I slipped away like a coward while he was asleep, without giving him a chance. Even if only to say goodbye. It was low.

They were right. You can’t make smart choices during heat recovery. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they’re the wrong ones.

Moon finishes feeding Lux and lifts him to burp.

He comes closer, and my eyes drop to the baby again.

Two-month-old Lux looks back at me with uncertain eyes, their color still undecided, the way babies’ eyes often are before they settle.

But there’s already a spark of awareness in those little eyes, staring at me from that tiny body—the awareness of another human being walking his own unique path, just like all of us.

Before I know it, I catch myself smiling at the baby and murmuring, "Hey, little one… was it tasty?"

"Do you want to hold him?" Moon asks quietly, a faint smile playing on his lips.

A wave of shyness washes over me.

"Can I?" I whisper.

"He still can’t hold his head up on his own. About three weeks ago he started lifting it a little when lying down, but for now keep your fingers around his neck and the back of his head."

Carefully, I take Lux from him, making sure to support his head.

I cradle the tiny body, warm and soft, with that faint mix of Moon’s milk and his own sweet baby scent. I pull him closer.

A shiver runs through me. Lux is so small, so fragile, and yet something inside me stirs: a protective instinct that doesn’t care that he’s not my child. I know I could love him. And I know… he’d love me back.

The incredible love nobody can give like this. Not even a partner.

The trust. The purity of it.

I squeeze my eyes shut so hard it almost hurts, and the words spill out of me.

"You know… Snow is going to have kids with a married omega he’s been sleeping with for years. I ran because I couldn’t deal with it. He wants to take those kids into his home, and it overwhelmed me… scared me. I don’t even fully understand my own reaction, but it felt like… betrayal."

I smooth my hand over Lux’s silky head.

Moon tilts his head, studying me.

"Would raising twins overwhelm you?"

I hesitate. "That’s not it. I know Lake, Snow’s dad, would help, and Jordan, the beta who works for them as a housekeeper. And of course Snow himself. It’s a big family, so the responsibilities would be shared, but…"

Moon stays silent, waiting for me to finish.

But I can’t. I don’t have the words to explain what my real ‘but’ is.

Is there any? A real one?

"There’s something you should know, Summer…" Moon whispers suddenly, looking away. He gazes out the window.

From here the view is of the garden, a sleek rock design, modern and carefully maintained. I know a lot about gardens; our parents ran a landscaping business, and I can tell how elegant this one is. Clearly, Moon has worked in it often. Gardening always calmed him down.

I wait. And wait.

But he doesn’t speak.

"What is it?"

Moon presses his lips together, still silent.

"Spit it out already. I can tell you’re about to say something important," I mutter with a crooked smile.

My hand strokes Lux’s back without thinking. His closeness feels so good.

Then I realize Moon is crying. He’s staring at me, at his son in my arms, and tears slip down from under his lashes.

"What is it, Moon? For God’s sake, just say it!" My voice trembles with impatience and fear. Whatever he’s holding back must carry weight.

"It was his only chance to have normal children."

"What?" I blink.

Maybe I misheard.

"If he hadn’t done it, he never would have any kids."

"What the hell are you talking about? Moon, are you high?"

Moon’s eyes squeeze shut.

I carry Lux back to the crib and carefully lay him down. I don’t want him to feel my storming energy.

I turn back and grip Moon by the shoulders.

"Can you speak clearly for once? I’m not a damn seer like you!"

Tears keep running down his face.

"You should never have children of your own too, Summer."

"You’ve lost your mind! What the hell are you saying?" My voice cracks, and a wave of black fear coils around my throat like a snake. The ground seems to tremble beneath my feet.

Through clenched teeth, Moon blurts out, "Impregnating Theo gave you both the only chance you’ll ever have to be parents. Both of you. He has the same problem you do, but in that one rare case, that particular egg of Theo’s carried very little alien DNA. It didn’t create the cumulative effect."

I feel like I’m about to explode.

"You’re not making sense, Moon! You’re babbling!"

Then he yells so loud that Lux bursts into tears.

"Your children won’t be human, Summer! Do you understand me now? Is that clear enough?"

I stagger back. He has to be on something. Nothing else can explain it.

"You’re a dad, you’re chestfeeding a baby, and you’re still using? Do you even hear yourself? You’re completely gone!"

Lux cries harder.

Moon lets out a bitter laugh.

"I haven’t touched drugs since the day I gave myself to Luca. Our Bond healed what was broken in me, Summer. And my visions only stabilized and grew stronger. I see things now more clearly than I ever did, even back when Anzo had me on enhancers."

For a moment we just stare at each other while Lux wails in his crib. Moon walks over, lifts him gently, and whispers,

"When you were born, you weren’t even human, Summer. Do you know that?"

I stay silent. I’ve shoved that thought away for years. Does he really have to torture me with it now?

"I remember standing over your crib and not believing what I was seeing. What… was lying there. Our parents told me you were just very different. An alien. They thought they’d have to hide you your whole life. But when you were three or four, they discovered you were a shapeshifter…"

He looks at me over his son’s head. Lux is slowly calming down.

"One day you just shifted into a human form, staring at yourself in the mirror, after… staring at us. Like you realized you were supposed to look like us. But you didn’t want to keep it.

You kept going back to your original form.

So our parents basically… brainwashed you, forced you to hold that human shape.

They made you scared, terrified of ever revealing yourself. Programmed you with this mental block."

The silence is crushing.

Then I notice a drop of red hitting the floor under my hand. I’ve clenched my fists so tight my nails have broken the skin.

"You see, when people talk about shapeshifters, they assume the base form is human. In your case, it’s the opposite.

What stands in front of me now is your artificial form.

It isn’t you. You’ve trained yourself so well to hold it that it’s become instinct, part of your daily life.

But your real form, the one you were born with, only slips out when you trust someone enough. Because of the fear ingrained in you."

I can’t take this. I can’t.

All I’ve ever wanted is fucking normalcy. I’ve fought for it, begged Fate for it. And yet here it is again, shoved in my face. The truth is that I never was and never will be like everyone else. I’m cursed.

"Stop. Just stop," I whisper, my legs trembling so badly I have to brace myself against the window ledge. My stomach twists with pain.

We’re both quiet for a while.

I look down at my hand gripping the ledge. For a split second, I let it shift into what it really is beneath this false shell.

Then I shut my eyes tight, pull it back, and turn away.

"The problem is alien DNA accumulates. Not always, not one hundred percent of the time, but very often. Over the past year I’ve spent countless hours tracking the paths of your future, Summer.

I felt guilty for everything that happened in the fortress.

" He takes a deep breath, glances at his hands, and twists the ring on his finger. It looks like an engagement ring.

"And every single path I saw led to the same thing. The children you’d have with Snow wouldn’t survive in our world.

They’d be born with gills, forced to live underwater like our ancestors.

And not close to the shore, not like mermaids.

In the deep, under crushing pressure. They’d be alone, cut off from partners, from normal development.

Overwhelmed by power that would consume them until it destroyed them, and others along with them.

A lot of others, Summer! That’s a dark, terrible path.

They don’t belong to this world. They’d be, in truth… the original aliens."

"Stop. Please stop…" I beg, trembling as if a live current is coursing through my body.

"Snow’s the same, you know. The only difference is that he was born in human form, which you could call a chrysalis, or a form of an ‘egg’.

His true form started breaking through it when he was a teenager.

Sometimes he’d wake up at night not recognizing his own body.

He’s had to fight hard to keep his human form.

He still does, every day. But it breaks through at night… "

"Stop, Moon. Please. I don’t want to hear anymore…"

But he doesn’t stop.

"The difference between you and Snow is that as an omega, you only have a limited number of eggs. Snow produces sperm in the millions. His odds of fathering a human child are extremely low, but not zero. He knew Theo was his one and only chance, that Theo carried one egg with low alien DNA. Everything in him resisted, but he also knew it would give you a chance at parenthood too, by proxy. That if those children were born, they’d be your family. "

"Moon… I—" A sob rips from my chest.

"They’ll both be sorcerers, you know? They have about the same percentage of alien DNA as Snow and you do.

Thanks to that, they’ll be able to hold their human form with proper training and help.

You’ll have so much in common with them, Summer.

You can teach them how to live in this world safely, as someone extraordinary. This is your chance at a family."

"Mercy…" I plead, my voice cracking.

But he shows none.

"As strange as it sounds, Snow didn’t do this to hurt you. He’d never do that. He did it to give you a family, kids who would have powers similar to yours, and it was the only way possible. He knew you’d be heartbroken at first, hating him, but then… he hoped for your understanding."

I’m too agitated to keep listening to this.

"How do you know all this?" I scream. "Not from your vision, right?!"

"Not all."

The silence is deep. Except for me, sobbing.

"Snow called me. He told me a lot. Also, where to pick you up from the airport. He didn't just ignore you leaving."

I almost fold in half, tears streaming down my face. I turn and bolt from the room.

Too much, too much.

I want it to stop.

I reach the doors leading to the terrace, but of course they’re locked. The ever-present security. I stretch out my hand, and in the blink of an eye they crumble into dust. I burst outside, the rain and wind hitting my face like salvation.

I run toward the ocean, following the path that leads to a set of stairs. At the bottom, there’s the inevitable wall, cameras, and a gate—of course there is—but I can handle that.

After all, I’m not human.

Something I should probably admit to myself and finally face. Or slap myself with it. Hard. So I’ve forever given up any dream of ever being normal.

I pull the air around me and leap over the fence.

Then I race straight for the sea.

Rain lashes my face like cold, stinging whips, floods my eyes, and mixes with my tears. I’m sobbing, because there’s nothing left in me but despair. All I can do is cry, because I hate my life, my fate.

Why couldn’t I have been born just anyone, into some typical family? Found a job, a husband, had a few kids, and surrounded myself with the small comforts of everyday life…? I want that so desperately, so much it tears my heart apart.

I don’t want to be an alien, an oddity, a monster meant to bring another generation of beings into the world, capable of destroying it, and many people along with it.

Moon said it himself, that I truly carry the seed of destruction inside me. Like any power, I have my dark side. I’m a gate through which mayhem can pass.

I fall to my knees, fingers digging into the sand, sifting it through my fingers as I sob, loud and desperate.

Abomination… that’s what I am.

A faint glow falls over my hands, half-buried in the sand.

Slowly, I lift my eyes.

The sun has broken through the clouds. It’s off to my left, in an unexpected place, rising from the beach…

Wait.

The sun?

Through the sheets of rain, something is coming toward me.

It shines like a real star.

What is that… who is that?

From behind the clouds… the sun will come out… I murmur to myself without thinking.

And then I recognize him.