Page 33

33

SARAH

“ R eady for this?” Riley asks before we walk into Kamryn’s house.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I tell him, because how ready is anyone when you have a planned intervention for someone you care about?

The plan was for a girls night and that hopefully Jax comes alone. We get to the stairs and Riley kisses me on the cheek before heading upstairs to join Mason and Adam in the man cave. I take a seat next to Emily at the kitchen island and Kam passes me a margarita that smells suspiciously like more tequila than margarita mix.

“Jax should be here soon. She had to finish editing a video for a brand.” Kamryn says and pours herself a glass of water. She’s in a Cincinnati sweatshirt that looks like it belonged to Mason and ratty grey sweatpants.

I raise my eyebrow at her choice of drink.

“If this is about my sister, then I need a clear head.” She tells me and sets her glass down when we hear the front door open.

“Hey guys,” Jax greets when she sees us in the kitchen. Her face is devoid of makeup and her hair is pulled in an effortless messy bun on top of her head.

“Hi, sister. How did the video go?” Kam asks and holds up a glass as a silent ask for a drink.

“Just a small one. Pretty easy. They wanted three thirty second videos in a specific way that ended up being more time consuming for me to film and edit.”

Emily and I look at each other out of the corner of our eyes and I feel like I’m going to be sick when Kam speaks up.

“Jax, are you okay?”

Fuck .

“Yeah. I’ve never been better.”

“Are you sure?” Kamryn asks and I know she’s trying to use what small therapy tools she also has.

“What did you tell her?” Jax asks, this time pointing her question at me.

“Nothing,” I firmly say.

“So why are you three here, sitting like someone died.”

“The way you could if you stay with Trent?” I ask and don’t miss Kamryn’s gasp.

She turns her gaze on Jax. “What is she talking about?”

“Nothing.”

“Jaclyn Marie. Wha–what is she talking about? And I won’t ask you again.” Kamryn sounds as if she’s either on the verge of yelling at her sister or crying because of what her sister is going through. Chances are it could be both.

“She was eavesdropping on a conversation between Trent and I at your wedding reception…” Jax says and tries to blow our concerns off.

“If you mean, him yelling at you and berating you a “conversation” then I should rethink how Riley speaks to me.”

“He what!?” Emily and Kamryn ask at the same time .

Jax and I hold each other's glare and I will her to tell them what she told me. Movement from behind Jax signals that the guys have made their way to the landing on the stairs and have equal looks of fury and the need to find Trent and beat his face in.

“So he yells at me from time to time. It’s no big deal,” she waves off.

“No.” Emily says at the same time I say, “It is a big deal.”

“How long has he been verbally abusive towards you?” Kamryn asks. And I think she wants to beat herself up for not pushing her sister further.

“He’s not–” she starts but I cut her off.

“If this were one of us, what would you do?” I ask her, my throat thick with emotion after her constant brush-off. “Because I would hope that you all would ask me if I was okay and then help me to find a way out. I would hope that the people in my life cared about my well-being enough to show me how a healthy relationship should be.”

Jax’s jaw is clenched incredibly hard and her eyes have welled up with tears. “You guys don’t understand.”

Kamryn walks to her sister and holds her hands. “Then help us understand, please.”

“I’m not like you three. Guys don’t want me for me anymore when they find out who I’m related to.”

“So you settle for less than what you deserve?” Kamryn asks and I hear the tears and the pain in her voice. I look up and see Mason ready to burn down the world for Jax, for Kamryn. “Do what we have, with the men who treat us like gold, prove that you deserve everything good? Because I can’t think of any reason why you would stay with him.”

“Because I love him,” she says and I feel her conviction lessen.

“I loved Paul and I thought he loved me, but that didn’t stop him from cheating on me,” I tell her and I don’t miss all three of their heads whipping towards me. Riley looks to the ground as he already knows this story and how hard it was for me to come to accept that it was never my fault. “And that didn’t stop my mom from trying to get us back together. I realized my worth, that it wasn’t my fault, and I found someone who treats me like I matter. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want someone to treat you like you matter?” I ask her and the tears for my friend becoming smaller for someone else trail down my face.

Jax’s head falls back and then falls forward. I don’t miss her own tears or her sobs that wrack her body. “I’m in so deep that I don’t know how to get out. He made me feel so big and then so little that I’m scared I’ll never find someone good.”

“You will find someone who is worthy of you. You will find someone who will make you feel like the stars are so close you can touch them. You will find someone who loves you for you and not who you can introduce them to,” Kamryn says and pulls her sister into her arms. “It might not be tomorrow or next week, but when you find someone who makes you forget all of the bad, then you’ll realize why it never worked with anyone else.”

Jax and Kamryn stay wrapped in each other’s arms and they need this. If anything, Jax has probably felt Kamryn slip away as she moved into her life with Mason. And I don’t blame her. But latching onto whoever will give you attention when you’re in a vulnerable state, can set you up for an unhealthy relationship.

I just hope with everything that this night will be the sign that Jax needs to end things with Trent.

“How come you didn’t tell us about Paul?” Kamryn asks later on when we’re all seated on the oversized couches in her living room. The guys headed back up to the man cave after we gave them all reassuring smiles.

I lean forward and rest my arms in my lap. “I was embarrassed. And telling you guys at that time…I couldn’t dump that on you when you both already had bigger things going on.” I tell them and look into my glass because I’d rather look at the contents in the glass than look at their faces and see judgment.

“What could have possibly been so embarrassing about that? Yeah, no one likes when their partner cheats. But you could have told us and we would have been there for you.”

“I know that now. But burying myself in work and focusing on your three was just what I needed at the time.”

“Can we make a promise here?” Emily asks and looks around at the three of us. “That no matter where we’re at in our relationships, we tell each other everything.”

“Promise.” Jax, Kamryn, and I say.

“So how was your trip?” Kam asks me once we’ve all slightly settled.

“It was good.” I say and fall back into the cushions. “I’ve finally got my dad back. But I don’t see any hope with my mom.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know all too well how hard it is to lose a relationship with a parent.” Emily says and places her hand on my leg.

“Yeah, but you have your parents back.”

“I do. But that doesn’t mean that everyday I didn’t miss them or didn’t instinctively want to pick up the phone to call them. We just weren’t in that space.”

Emily’s relationship with her parents was one of neglect. But not in the way that she was neglected physically. It was more of an emotional neglect. They left her alone while they were chasing their career dreams. But that also opened the door for her to fall for the boy next door.

We spend the rest of the night catching up and dumping on each other. It turns out the more we fall into who we become, the easier it is to neglect the part of you that just needs your girlfriends to talk with.