Page 19

19

SARAH

F aint scents of cedar wood and leather blanket my body as I come out of sleep. Riley’s arms are locked around my stomach and his head rests against my back. His deep breaths almost lull me back to sleep. But my bladder is begging to be released and if I don’t get up I’ll have to order a new mattress.

I try to unwind his arms, but he locks them tighter. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Bathroom. I have to pee.”

Riley loosens his grip and I slip out effortlessly. I use the bathroom and brush my teeth while looking at my reflection for the first time in over twenty-four hours. I could use a shower too but I want to get back to Riley. As soon as I exit the bathroom, Riley is switching places with me.

“I have an extra toothbrush underneath the vanity,” I tell him through the closed door.

His responding grunt is enough of an answer for me. I slink back into the still warm sheets and check my phone. Dozens of messages greet me and I conclude I’m too tired to respond to any of them. So I turn my phone all the way off right as Riley finishes up.

“Hi,” he greets me when he’s back in my bed.

“Morning.”

His bed head hair falls in his face and I push it back. My hand falls to the angular curve of his jaw and my thumb traces the full bottom lip.

“Do you remember yesterday?”

“The dull headache is a reminder. So yes.”

“Anything else?”

“You mean about us dating for real? It rings a bell.” My smile matches his and I love that I get this unguarded version of him.

“We’ll take it slow,” Riley promises.

“Does slow include breakfast? Because I’m starving.”

His silent chuckle shakes the bed. “Yeah, baby. I can feed you.”

“Okay,” I whisper barely loud enough for me to hear. The fire that burned bright the night we hooked up is alive and well. “Kiss me first and then feed me.”

“You’re bossy,” he tells me but zones in on my lips.

Our lips meet and my breath hitches. Riley’s hand cradles my neck and angles my head as he deepens the kiss. His tongue teases at my bottom lip, begging for entrance. When I open for him our tongues tangle, but he doesn’t take it further than this. And all too soon, he’s backing away and pecking my top and bottom lip.

“We’re going slow,” he reminds me.

“Mm hmm,” I agree.

Riley gets up and tosses a pillow at my face before heading downstairs. I decide to brave my phone again and turn it back on. More messages filter in and I start from the latest to the newest. Most of them are wondering where I’m at while I was held up in darkness. Yesterday’s migraine took a lot out of me. And while I’m not back to 100%, as I still have a dull headache, I can at least shake my head without wanting to cry or barf.

Jeff’s message is next and I respond with an update that I’m on the mend and will be back in the office on Monday. Do I think us having an office is redundant when our work can be done at home? Yes. But I think Jeff likes the ability to see his employees. Plus it gets him out of the house which is something his kids always push for.

I respond as best as I can to my other clients before I move onto my group chat with the girls.

Main Bishes

Kamryn: I need a coffee break.

Emmy-Lou: Wish I could but I’m teaching.

Jax: I’m in the editing cave.

Kamryn: Sarah?

*twenty minutes later*

Kamryn: Is her radio silence concerning?

Jax: Maybe she’s in meetings?

Kamryn: Maybe?

Emmy-Lou: Rain check on the coffee.

Me: I was in a migraine cave all day.

Kamryn: Did you use your headache cap?

Me: No. I just slept all day…

Emmy-Lou: What’s with the … ?

Me: I have good news.

Jax: Do tell!

Emmy-Lou: Spill it

Kamryn: Don’t edge us!

Me: Riley and I are dating.

Emojis fill their responses along with “I knew it!” to “We can’t wait to meet him”

I let them know I want them to meet him soon and then place my phone back on the nightstand. Flipping the covers off, I change out of yesterday's lounge clothes and slide on a new pair of sweatpants and a new sweatshirt with a pair of fuzzy socks and head downstairs. The low hum of the TV greets me when I reach downstairs, followed by the sizzling sound of bacon as the salty aroma fills my nostrils. I lean against the wall furthest from the kitchen and watch as Riley commands the space like I’m sure he does on the ice. His broad shoulders flex as he does something on the stove and just seeing the controlled strength is close to making me drool.

While I should definitely not combust over someone younger than me, Riley holds himself in a way none of the guys my age did back then. And getting a front row seat to the guy who made headlines months ago shows me that he’s like an onion. I’m finding that with every new layer he exposes, I like. I’m finding that every new layer I’m introduced to, is protected until it’s ready to peel. Does focusing on his age say more about me, than him? Yes. But I’m slowly working through that and realizing that I won’t care about his age much longer.

“It smells good in here.” I say as I push off the wall and make my presence known. He looks over his shoulder at my approach and I don’t miss the appreciative stare from him that lights up my body even in an oversized sweatpants and sweatshirt combination. One thing he never fails to make me do is feel appreciated for the way I look.

“It’s just about done if you want to have a seat at the table.” He tells me as he flips the final piece of what looks like an egg white omelet.

Nodding, I silently move to the table and watch as he turns off the stove and plates our food. He must have brought a change of clothes as I’m noticing he’s in a pair of plaid drawstring pajama pants that mold to his thighs and pool around his feet. Riley takes the seat next to me and my stomach grumbles embarrassingly loud.

He places a kiss on my upturned cheek and then hands me one of the forks he was holding onto. “Eat up, Blue.”

I cut off a piece of omelet and blow it off before closing my lips around the fork. “I’m surprised your culinary skills haven’t locked anyone down yet.”

“I haven’t gotten that far in any relationship for my skills to lock them down.” Riley responds and takes a sip of water.

“Why not?”

“Most women are interested in a hockey player, which means quick money for them,” Riley tells me.

“And that’s not something you want.”

“Correct. I saw the love my parents had and the love Momma and Pops have. And I want that. I think I’ve always wanted it. But that’s not something guys admit. Let alone guys at my age,” Riley says.

“I think it’s refreshing.” I tell him and lean over to kiss his cheek.

We finish eating our food and sit back in our chairs once we push our plates forward .

“How’s your head?” Riley asks sincerely.

“I still have a dull headache. Which is normal the day after a migraine.”

“Do you know what causes them? I’m sorry, I’ve just never had a migraine like what you’ve experienced,” Riley says.

I bring a leg up on the chair and hook my arms around my shin to keep it in place. “I wish I knew. I’ve been tested. But I think they’re genetic. I don’t get them as often as I used to. Occasionally one will come and take me out for the day. All that I do is ride the agonizing wave.”

“I’m glad I came over yesterday to try and soothe your pain.”

I rest my head on my knee and turn to face Riley. “Me too.”

We stare at each other in the morning light of my kitchen. Blue eyes to blue eyes. Calm to calm. And I realize I’ve never felt more at peace than in this moment with him.

“I told my friends that we’re dating.”

His eyebrows are covered when they fly to his hairline. “What’d they say?”

“A lot of I knew it and emojis depicting excitement for me. They’re eager to meet you.”

“Did they meet your ex?”

My upper lip curls. “Do you really want to talk about this?”

“Knowing you is knowing some of your past. So yeah, I do.”

I let my leg down and instead slide them over Riley’s outstretched limbs. His bear paw comes to rest on my knee and seeing his inked skin against my sweatpants is an intoxicating sight.

“Kamryn met him once and she didn’t like him all that much. And now that I’m removed from that time in my life I can see what she didn’t like about him. But at the time I was blinded by lust and the attention he gave me that I mistook it for love. He put me on a pedestal and I think that’s why our breakup changed me.”

“Your reason for not loving?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “My therapist said that I’m vulnerable in my everyday life but when it came to my new feelings for you I refused to acknowledge that part of my vulnerability.”

“I’m scared too,” Riley admits.

“You are?” I ask and look up at him.

“My feelings for you slammed into me out of nowhere. It’s almost like hockey was in the way and I made any excuse to have you around.”

“Like you canceling my hotel room,” I note.

“Guilty.” He says with a wide smile.

“Question,” I say.

He nods. “I might have an answer.”

“Why do you call me Blue?”

“Because of your eyes,” he says with no hesitation.

“Most people would have called me Red. But you went for my eyes. Why?”

“Because I feel like they change color every time I look into them. One day they’re deeper than an ocean blue and the next they resemble the blue from a crayon.”

Swoon . “You’re going to be a great boost for my ego,” I tell him.

“I hope that’s not all I’ll be good for.” He says and pulls me into his lap.

I rest my arm around the back of his chair and play with his hair. “It’s one of the many things I’m sure you’ll be good for.” He pinches my thigh and I swat at his hand. “How are you planning to tell your friends? ”

“Well, they’ve been referring to you as the “hot redhead from the charity gala”, but I think they’ll be not as surprised as I hope.”

“I do like that nickname,” I preen and squirm as Riley tickles my sides. “What are their names?”

“There's Logan, Noah, and Max. Logan and I moved up at the same time in the league. So when we got drafted by Columbus, it took us about a day to mesh together on the ice. Noah and Max were in the same draft class as us, so we all kind of stuck together.”

“Speaking of, when do you have to head home?” It’s weird that I’ll already miss him and I'm quite literally in his lap.

“Later today. I have an early pilates class and then practice later in the afternoon.”

“I guess I am reaping all the benefits of your pilates classes.” I say as I run my hands down his firm arms and to his forearms.

His teeth are bared as a smile takes up his face and then fades just as quickly.

“What’s wrong?” I ask and my eyes travel all over his face looking for something.

“I’m just wondering how this is going to work. Season is about to get underway and you live here. I’ll be lucky to make it down here between training and games.”

“I’ll split part-time between here and Columbus. I’ll take a look at your schedule and during the home games I’ll stay with you and the away games I’ll come back here.”

He nods as he considers what I’m saying. “Okay. Look at us figuring out a plan.”

I silently laugh. Riley and I spend the rest of the morning talking about life. Hypothetical scenarios that run through our heads, dream vacation spots, local hidden gems that we promise to take each other to, and our hope that this thing between us can work. He makes me laugh. Which is a foreign feeling in a relationship. And it’s not my fake laugh. It’s the laughter that leaves my stomach sore in the best possible way.

But I don’t get my hopes too far up. Love is still something I’m terrified about. Although a simple thing like trying with Riley gives me hope.