Page 9 of Last Call (Open Tab #5)

“Something like that.”

“And you tried to argue with her?”

“No. She made her position clear. It didn’t give me any room to argue,” Fallon replied.

Ida nodded.

“How is that fair? It’s our child,” Fallon said.

“I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to think before you answer.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it. Think before you answer,” Ida said. “Why does this matter to you?”

“What?”

“Why is it important to you to have Dean be part of this equation?”

Fallon shook her head.

“I haven’t spoken with Riley about any of this. She wouldn’t share her feelings about Dean with me . But I understand her position,” Ida said.

“But you can’t understand how I feel?” Fallon asked.

“I think the idea of a baby who is part of you biologically appeals to you. You could pursue that, Fallon, without Dean’s involvement,” Ida said.

Fallon sighed.

“But that’s not something you’ve ever desired,” Ida continued. “To be pregnant and give birth.”

“No.”

“And is that something you’re willing to discuss with Riley?”

“What are you talking about?” Fallon asked.

“Are you open to the possibility of carrying your child?”

“I doubt that’s possible.”

“You’re barely forty-one, Fallon. It might not be easy. It’s certainly possible.”

“I never wanted that, Mom. Riley wants to have more kids.”

“Yes. And I’m sure she expected she’d have more kids with Robert. That would mean she would carry those babies. That isn’t an inevitability with you as her partner.”

“I just—we always discussed Riley getting pregnant.”

“Mm. Because you assumed she would want it that way,” Ida guessed.

“And?”

“And you also assumed Riley would be fine with Dean as the donor,” Ida said.

“Mom, I understand things with Dean and the girls are complicated. That isn’t our situation.”

Ida laughed.

“Why is that funny?” Fallon asked.

“It’s absurd,” Ida replied. “No matter what agreement you make with your brother, his relationship with all the children in our family will affect your children.”

“It doesn’t need to be negative, Mom.”

“I admit, I expected you to see this more clearly.”

“What does that mean?” Fallon asked.

“It means what I said.”

“So, what? I’m terrible because I’m not in love with the idea of some stranger as the father of my kids?”

“Not at all,” Ida said.

Fallon threw her hands into the air.

“As I understand it, Pete, Dale, and Jacob all offered to act as a donor for you and Riley.”

“And?”

“They’re hardly strangers.”

“Pete, Mom?”

Ida chuckled. “Pete is one of your best friends, Fallon. He is one of the kindest, hardest working, and most decent men I’ve ever met.”

Fallon sighed. True.

“I can understand why you wouldn’t feel comfortable with Dale. We all know his feelings for you ran deep for years.” Ida said.

“I know they are all sincere about their offers,” Fallon said.

“Maybe you should talk to Riley about your possibilities—possibilities that don’t involve Dean.”

Fallon’s gaze narrowed. “You mean Jacob’s offer.”

Ida shrugged.

“Jacob is a kid.”

“No. Jacob is Andi’s kid. He is not a child. And he shares a special relationship with both you and Riley,” Ida said.

“Yes. He thinks of Riley like a big sister? so does Dave. I know.”

Ida smiled.

“Oh, no. Come on. That would make Andi our kids’ grandmother!”

“Fallon, Andi is Owen’s grandmother in every way that matters,” Ida said.

“I know it feels a little strange for you. Riley doesn’t have close relationships with her family.

Andi is like her mom. We both know that.

And Andi loves Riley just as much. Believe me, Fallon, that wasn’t easy for her .

She was in love with you once. Becoming so close to Riley was painful for her. ”

Fallon sighed heavily. “And you think it would be a good idea to put Andi in this position?”

“I can’t speak for Andi. I know her differently than you or Riley.

And I know you. Fallon, you and Andi will always love each other,” Ida said.

“You can’t erase what you shared with her.

Time passes more quickly with each minute that goes by.

You’ve both moved on—found the person who fits with you.

You love Riley. Andi loves Billie. Everything worked out.

But you and Andi will always share something beyond friendship.

There is an undercurrent to your relationship that only people who’ve been in love can claim.

Riley knows that. Billie does, too. They aren’t threatened by the past you share with Andi. ”

“I know that, too.”

“I don’t imagine Riley will suggest accepting Jacob’s offer.”

“But you think she’d like to,” Fallon said.

“I think having that kind of connection to Andi means something to her.”

“How does that differ from how I feel about Dean being our donor?”

“What do you mean?” Ida asked.

“Won’t Owen feel left out again?”

“I don’t think so. I adore Owen. Owen is closer to Andi and Billie.

Your father was your person when you were growing up.

Dean was closer to me. Riley never had a person as a kid.

She loves Brenda and Doug, but you know as well as anyone that she has always felt like an outsider in her family.

Andi is her person. Andi is also your best friend.

There’s a reason Owen gravitated to her.

And there’s a reason she is so attached to him. ”

“I never thought about it that way.”

“Why would you? I’m an outside observer,” Ida said.

“Andi thinks of you like a mom, you know?”

“And I think of her as a daughter—always have. Fallon, our family stretches beyond biology. I see you are ready to argue your point again. Liv may be gone. The choices she and Dean made have left many scars for the kids—for Barb, Beth, and you . Riley sees that. You’re fooling yourself if you think Owen can’t feel it. ”

Fallon sighed regretfully. Ida’s observations were spot-on, as usual.

The last few months had been filled with a myriad of emotions, accompanied by tender celebrations and unthinkable losses.

Fallon wanted to claim she was in control of her feelings—that she’d managed to break through the haze of grief to see things clearly.

Before Liv died, Fallon hadn’t considered the possibility of Dean playing a role in her efforts to build a family with Riley.

Suddenly, his involvement felt like a foregone conclusion she could not see beyond.

“Fallon,” Ida said gently. “I understand why you’re struggling. Losing Liv has been harder for you than anyone understands.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, I think it is. You have a lot of guilt tied up in that relationship, and a good deal of that is directed towards your relationship with Dean.”

Fallon groaned.

“You had every right and reason to be upset with your brother,” Ida said.

“But no matter how you’ve tried to convince yourself otherwise, you’ve missed him.

You need to accept that you can’t rekindle what you shared before your breakup with Liv.

You can build something new. If you hope to have a healthy relationship with Dean, you need to be clear on what bridges you can and cannot cross.

You lashed out at Riley for setting boundaries you should have already made clear.

If you’re honest with yourself, you’re not upset with your wife. You’re frustrated with yourself.”

“Shit.”

Ida smiled. “Riley will understand,” she said. “She understands you better than you think. But you owe her something more than an apology this time.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mom.”

“You’re struggling with conflicting emotions. Don’t press this idea about expanding your family so soon,” Ida advised.

“Mom.”

“Fallon, I’m telling you to let Riley lead on this one. I know why you’re anxious to add a baby to the family. So does she.”

“I’m not getting younger,” Fallon said. “And it can take time.”

“Yes. It can. But you need to give this some breathing room. Stop making references to baby rooms, cribs, and cute onesies, and stop referencing everyone’s baby-making. Take a breath and let Riley come to you.” Ida offered Fallon a reassuring hug. “Go home and talk to your wife.”

“I’m not sure she’ll be happy to see me.”

“She’ll want to discuss why you walked away from an important conversation.”

“I told you; it didn’t feel like a conversation.”

“Believe it or not, I understand how you feel,” Ida said. “But I don’t think Riley was trying to back you into a corner.”

Fallon sighed.

“Mm. I think she feels backed into a corner, and she’s asking you to create a pathway for her to meet you in the middle.”

“I didn’t make that easy,” Fallon grumbled.

“She’ll forgive you.”

“Are you sure I can’t just stay here?”

Ida laughed. “You can. I don’t think you should. ”

“Face the music, huh?”

“Apologize for walking away and give her the space to share how she feels,” Ida said. “And if she puts you in time-out, accept the punishment without any backtalk.”

Fallon chuckled. “And if she wants to spank me?” she quipped.

Ida rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t count on any repercussions you’d enjoy,” she advised, pushing Fallon gently toward the door. “Now, go.”

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

“You’ll get the bill.”

Fallon laughed. I’ve no doubt.

Andi stretched her feet across Billie’s lap with a sigh.

“Long day?” Billie asked.

“No. I’m just trying to soak up the quiet for as long as possible.”

“Second thoughts about Dave and Becky moving up here?”

“No,” Andi replied.

“You realize they will have their own home?”

“Yes. I also know a baby will be in this house for the better part of every week.”

“I thought you’d be excited,” Billie commented.

“I’m excited. I’m still going to savor the quiet.”

“Uh-huh.”

“What?” Andi asked.

“What happened when you saw Riley earlier?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Andi?”

“Billie, I promise nothing happened that you need to worry about.”

“I can see it in your eyes. Something has you worried.”