Page 8 of Last Call (Open Tab #5)

An unpleasant knot formed in Fallon’s belly and twisted her insides.

Riley was the most patient person Fallon knew.

She supported Fallon through every twist and turn that life threw at them.

There was an unmistakable undercurrent of hurt in Riley’s voice.

“Your family.” Maybe Fallon had set aside her questions about Liv’s life after Whiskey Springs.

She had been immersed in helping Barb and Beth settle into their new lives.

She had invested long hours with Evan and the girls, trying to ensure they felt secure.

Fallon made time for Owen, carefully including him in outings and setting aside one-on-one time to spend with him.

As she listened to Riley, she realized she hadn’t been as intentional about making time for her marriage.

“Riley.”

“Can we start this conversation again?” Riley requested.

“I think we need to talk about what you said.”

“What did I say?”

“You said I’ve been concerned about everyone in my family. I don’t need a PhD to understand you aren’t referring to you and Owen,” Fallon replied.

“You’ve had a lot of people vying for your time.”

“Maybe. You come first. I haven’t made that clear, have I?”

Riley smiled. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“What is it you want to talk about?” Fallon asked.

Riley took a deep breath and set her wine glass on the table. “You asked me the other day if I’d considered when I might like to add to our family.”

“I only asked because we were talking about the house plans,” Fallon offered.

Riley sighed. “I think we both know it’s on your mind constantly.”

“Maybe it is. I’m not trying to pressure you.”

“I don’t think that at all,” Riley said.

“Then why do I get a feeling you feel pressured?”

“I don’t.”

“But?” Fallon asked.

“You also commented that Dean is ready whenever we decide to start.”

“He is.”

Riley nodded and sucked in a breath for courage. “Fallon, I would love for our baby to have a part of you—biologically.”

Fallon smiled.

“But I’m uncomfortable with Dean acting as our donor,” Riley said.

Fallon blinked with surprise. “Okay? Can I ask why?”

“There are a few reasons. Listen, I love Evan and the girls.”

“I know,” Fallon said.

“But I don’t think adding a sibling to that equation is in the best interest of our family, more so for Owen than for you or me.”

“Owen loves the kids.”

“Yes, he does,” Riley agreed. “But he is not one of their siblings, Fallon. And sometimes, Owen feels a bit like an outsider.”

“He’s not an outsider."

“He’s a lot younger,” Riley said. “And Dean isn’t his dad. No matter how much everyone loves Owen and works to make him feel welcome, he will always be different from the other kids. He isn’t your nephew, Fallon.”

“He’s my son. I love Owen more than anything.”

“I know,” Riley said, taking Fallon’s hand. “This conversation has nothing to do with you. ”

“I think it does.”

“No. Not this. I won’t lie to you. The last few months have tested my patience at times. I understand your grief. That’s something I can relate to and support you with. And I love you for being the kindhearted, caring person you are.”

“But?”

“But I’ve barely seen you, Fallon. I thought we’d turned a corner when we went to Hawaii. When we came home, you started running again,” Riley said.

“I just want everyone to be settled.”

“Yes. But I also feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Riley, no.”

“Are you sure about that?” Riley asked.

“That’s not it. I want to be sure everything is in place.”

“No matter how many plans you make, something will uproot our lives again. That’s life. You can’t avoid that, Fallon. None of us can.”

“How does any of this relate to Dean?” Fallon asked.

“I want Owen to feel our children are his siblings.”

Fallon shook her head. “And you think having Dean as a donor would change that somehow?”

“I think it would make our other children part of something Owen can’t share. And I think that will likely cause hurt as time passes,” Riley said.

“Dean doesn’t have to be involved in Owen’s life like he is with the girls.”

“Fallon, you can’t change reality. People will learn the truth—the kids will learn, and that’s only fair.”

“So, you want an anonymous donor? Someone with no relationship to us?” Fallon asked.

Riley flinched at the frustration in Fallon’s voice. “I’d like us to consider our options.”

“Options other than my brother.”

Riley held her ground calmly. “Yes.”

“I know I haven’t been here as much as I should.”

“ This is not about you and me—not this. This is about Owen and anyone we add to this family.”

“But there’s more on your mind. Do you even want to have kids with me?” Fallon asked.

Riley silently counted to three. “You know I do.”

“Do I?”

“Honestly, Fallon, I knew this would be a difficult conversation. I didn’t expect you to react with anger.”

“How am I supposed to feel? What about how I feel?” Fallon asked.

“I’d hoped you’d be open to alternatives.”

“And if I’m not?”

Riley steadied her breathing. “Then I think we have much more we need to discuss.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m not prepared for Owen to play second fiddle in this family, Fallon.”

“Do you honestly believe that would happen?” Fallon asked.

“Intentionally? No. It will happen. He’s already different from everyone in your family. Why can’t you understand what I’m saying?” Riley asked. “If you want to carry our baby, I’m all for it.”

“Really? Wouldn’t that still make Owen an outsider ?”

“No,” Riley said. “Like it or not, your family has chosen to have Dean act as a father figure to Barb and Liv’s kids.”

“That was Liv and Dean’s decision. We don’t need to make the same choice.”

“And if we have a baby that Dean fathers and we don’t allow that child to have the same relationship as his or her siblings—how will that feel for our child? I see it in your eyes. You think this is from a place of jealousy.”

“Is it?”

“No. It’s reality,” Riley said. “And it’s something that’s kept me awake many nights. I’ve struggled with this endlessly—painfully. I come to the same conclusion every time.”

Fallon nodded. “And?”

“And?”

“What else?” Fallon asked.

“Given how this conversation has unfolded, I think we need a little time.”

Fallon’s face paled.

Riley pressed back her tears. “I love you. I know you love me. And I know you love Owen. I can share you with the world, Fallon. We haven’t had time to be a family or a couple.

You’re angry at me for expressing something that is painful for me, too.

I can’t help but think that’s partly because we haven’t spent time alone.

We haven’t taken the time to talk about everything in our lives.

You’ve been preoccupied with everyone else’s needs. ”

“Do you want me to tell the builder to hold off?” Fallon asked.

“No. I want to step back from baby talk until we settle into our life together—not a house, Fallon—our family.”

“Whatever you want, we’ll do,” Fallon said.

Riley’s frustration mounted. “This isn’t about me . It’s about us. We need to talk about things.”

Fallon snapped. “Why? You’ve clearly decided for us.”

“That isn’t fair,” Riley said. “At all.”

“But you have decided, haven’t you?”

“I’m uncomfortable with Dean as our donor, and I don’t think that will change. I’m open to all other options,” Riley said.

Fallon nodded and stood.

“Where are you going?” Riley asked.

“I need to clear my head.”

“You’re going to walk out on this discussion?”

“Is this a discussion?” Fallon asked. “It seems like it’s a statement, not a discussion. Maybe it’s me. You’ve made a decision, and now you’ve told me the way things will be. I’m expected to accept it and move on. Right? That’s a statement, Riley, not a discussion.”

“I suppose it was a statement. It was meant to open a broader discussion.”

“Well, I need to think about your decision before I can talk about this,” Fallon said. “I’m going to take a ride.”

“If that’s what you need to do.”

“It is.”

Riley nodded. She picked up her glass and sipped.

“That’s it?” Fallon asked. “You’re going to just sip your wine?”

“What do you expect me to do? Fight with you? I’m not the villain here,” Riley said. “If you need to clear your head , then by all means, do that.”

Fallon grabbed her jacket and walked out the door.

Riley threw her head back and groaned. “That went well.”

Ida opened the door for Fallon. “You look like shit,” she observed.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“What are you doing in my kitchen when Beth is babysitting your son?”

Fallon flopped onto a chair with a groan. “You mean Riley’s son.”

“What is this about?” Ida asked.

“Riley doesn’t want Dean to be the donor for our kids.”

Ida nodded and filled the tea kettle.

“Did you hear what I said?” Fallon asked.

“I heard you.”

“And you have nothing to say about it?”

Ida turned the burner on and looked at Fallon. “What do you want me to say?” she asked.

“Something.”

“It makes sense,” Ida offered.

“Oh my God. She talked to you about this, didn’t she?”

“No.”

“Mom.”

“Riley hasn’t told me about your family planning,” Ida said.

“And this makes sense to you?”

“It does. Apparently, it doesn’t add up for you.”

“How could it? It’s just logical that he would help us have kids,” Fallon said.

“Why is that?”

“Because he always promised he would when the time came. Riley knows that.”

Ida shook her head.

“What?” Fallon asked.

“You just assumed Riley would be on board with Dean fathering the children she carries?”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“Fallon,” Ida said. “Have you looked at the mess in our family? You know better than anyone how much hurt has been caused by Dean’s fathering Emily and Summer. It caused pain for you, Barb, and Beth. Most importantly, it hurt Evan. He got shoved aside more than once when Dean was home.”

“Riley and I are not Liv and Barb.”

“True. But you’re fooling yourself if you think involving Dean won’t ignite more pain for everyone. It will be Owen who feels it the most this time.”

Fallon rubbed her face and huffed.

“I assume that’s what Riley said,” Ida guessed.