Page 95 of Lady of Starfire (Lady of Darkness #5)

She knew what he was asking. How had she done it? How had she found her way back? What exactly had she seen among the stars?

But before she answered, her gaze slid back to her mother, still kneeling on the ground. Saylah’s breathing was ragged, and Cethin was crouched beside her.

Scarlett swallowed, turning back to Sorin. “I could hear you calling to me. I felt …you and Rayner and Cethin. But the Chaos …” Something in her eyes shifted to fear. He could feel it down the bond, and it had him tightening his hold on her. “It wasn’t enough,” she whispered.

“What do you mean it wasn’t enough?” Cethin asked, looking up at them.

“We were right in assuming that the Chaos would be drawn to me because of the various kinds of Chaos I possess, but we were wrong in assuming that I would have enough to contain it,” she answered.

“But you are containing it,” Rayner said. “I can feel it. We can all feel it. The power in you is …”

“More than Saylah ever had,” Kailia said from where she stood beside Cethin.

“More than she has now,” Cethin added, clearly feeling her power wells with his own gifts.

“What does she have now?” Scarlett asked, twisting in Sorin’s hold to face them.

“Nothing,” Cethin said. “She has nothing left. Whatever she did to bring you back took it all.”

Saylah finally lifted her head, looking straight at Scarlett. Her eyes were dimmer, and when she lifted a hand to brush back her hair, Sorin noted a slight tremor.

“It won’t replenish, will it?” Scarlett asked quietly.

“What?” Cethin demanded. “Her reserves will refill. It will just take months because she has nothing left.”

Scarlett shook her head.

“You don’t know that,” Cethin said harshly.

She raised a hand. Darkness swirled with starfire drifting among it.

“She gave me her Chaos so I could control this. It was too much without it. I was trying to come back. I could hear you all calling me, but the Chaos … It wanted to go somewhere else. There are so many worlds, and they were all screaming at me. I didn’t …

” She ran her hand down her face, and Sorin was tucking her into his side a little more.

“It took notice when it felt all of your power, but even still …”

“The Mark she drew on the mirror transferred her Chaos to you,” Kailia said softly.

Scarlett nodded.

“So she is like Talwyn?” Rayner asked.

“I don’t know,” Scarlett admitted.

They all fixed their attention on Saylah. “I can Travel,” the goddess said. “I was born a goddess. To give up all of my Chaos would kill me. I retain a small amount. I will eventually be able to summon a shadow, but nothing like I once was.”

“Why?” Scarlett rasped.

“Everything I have ever done is for you and Cethin. This was no different.”

It was different though. Sorin knew it. Scarlett knew it.

Before she had given away her Chaos believing she would restore it with the lock.

Saylah had known she was weakening herself, but it had been temporary.

This was permanent. This was willingly given to spare her son and save her daughter so she could save a world.

“I assumed you wanted the lock to take its power for yourself,” Scarlett said thickly.

“Power does call to power,” Saylah answered breathlessly.

“I told you the most powerful crave more power. But the moment I realized what you were doing … I knew it would consume you. You were too fast. I couldn’t explain the cost. That the Chaos would use you.

That it would take control of you and not the other way around. ”

Scarlett was sinking to her knees beside the goddess and her brother.

“I know you find me callous and unforgiving, but I know of sacrifice and loss, Scarlett,” Saylah said.

“When you live for centuries, you learn that sometimes to avoid the losses, you must make sacrifices. Sometimes you learn the same in two short decades. I wish you had not been forced to learn that lesson yet. Losing either of you has never been an option. It is why your father sacrificed his life. It is why I sacrificed knowing you as you grew up. It is why I have sacrificed pieces of my power. It has always been for the two of you.”

“You have always been a mother,” Scarlett whispered. “In the only way you knew how.”

“I do not think the gods know how to truly love,” Saylah said.

“Nurturing is certainly not some innate thing to us. But I like to think that I have learned how to love, at least to some extent, in my centuries of life. From your father. From …” She cleared her throat, smoothing her hands down her dress.

“There is not a sacrifice too great for you or your brother, Scarlett. If it would have required the entirety of my Chaos to save you, I would have given it. There would not have been a question.”

“I know,” Scarlett said quietly, reaching up and wiping at her cheeks. “I know, Mother.”

Cethin gave her a tight smile as he helped Saylah to her feet, and Sorin reached down to do the same for Scarlett.

“I will take you to Elshira,” Cethin said, reaching for Kailia with his other hand.

“Before we go, you should know,” Kailia said, sliding her fingers into Cethin’s waiting palm, “your fire general is safe and in Avonleya.”

“What?” Sorin, Rayner, and Scarlett all said together.

“She is with Razik,” the queen answered simply.

“Where?” Sorin demanded.

“She asked us not to say anything until—”

“We will let her tell you the story,” Cethin cut in. “Let me take Saylah to Elshira, and then I can take you to her.”

They nodded, and the moment they Traveled, Sorin was spinning Scarlett back to face him again. “You are truly all right?”

“I am, Sorin,” she said, reaching up to cup his cheek. “A little more powerful. That is all.”

“A little,” Rayner deadpanned.

Scarlett winked at him.

“You saw other worlds?” Sorin asked while they waited for Cethin, trying not to worry about Eliza. Why hadn’t she wanted them to know she was back?

Scarlett nodded, worrying her bottom lip. “It is an odd thing. I just …know where they all are now. If I wanted to go to one, I could. I caught glimpses of them. It was as if the Chaos couldn’t decide where to go.”

“Are you going to be able to alter the mirror gates?” Rayner asked.

“We will go see Eliza,” Scarlett answered, the shadows in her eyes swirling a little faster. “Then we move forward with our plans.”