Page 60 of Lady of Starfire (Lady of Darkness #5)

For some reason, Scarlett held back her sharp retort. She couldn’t picture it, though. She couldn’t see the goddess sitting in the sand as anything but the cold, demanding being she had been from the moment Scarlett had set foot unbidden in the Shira Forest.

“I need to be getting back,” Scarlett said, turning to walk up the beach and Travel. “Sorin will wake soon.”

“Cethin is making sure he knows you are safe and well,” Saylah replied, hands clasped and resting atop her bent knees.

“That isn’t necessary.”

“I know of sacrifice and loss, Scarlett,” Saylah said. Her long silver hair shifted in the slight breeze, but otherwise she sat unnaturally still.

“Forcing others to sacrifice for you and experiencing loss are not the same thing,” Scarlett retorted.

Saylah’s sharp gaze slid to Scarlett. “Do you think I have lived for thousands of years and not experienced loss?”

“I think living for so many years has made you callous.”

“Experiencing so much life has a way of hardening one’s soul,” Saylah agreed. “But you would understand that, wouldn’t you? Even in your short years.”

Scarlett fell silent, crossing her arms. Her attention fixed on the waves gently rolling to the shore. After several moments of silence, she asked, “Would he have gone with you? When you left this world?”

“Yes,” Saylah answered softly. “He would have. The gods do not have twin flames—not like the Legacy and Fae—but he would have gone with me. With us.”

Scarlett nodded.

There was another extended silence before Saylah said, “Some gods are selective in who they physically create offspring with. Like Sargon.”

“That is an incredibly callous way to speak about having children,” Scarlett muttered.

Saylah let out a sharp sigh. “I did not mean it to sound as such. I did not wish to have children. Knowing the kind of life they would lead because of happenings outside of their control. It seemed cruel to bring them into existence just to be hunted by others.”

“And yet here I stand. Are you asking for a thank you for the gift of life?”

Saylah ignored her sarcasm as she said, “Tethys was the only one I have ever wanted something more with. Thousands of years, and there was only ever him.”

Scarlett may not have lived for thousands of years, but that last part?

She understood that in the depths of her being.

She may tease Sorin about his past experiences, but there would never be another.

He was it. No one else, and she wasn’t about to share him with anyone either. It would only ever be him.

“When I first came to this world, I stayed hidden with no one but those who had traveled with me. We discovered there were Legacy here after a time. They called themselves Avonleyans after the kingdom they had built. They once ruled the entirety of the realm. Avonleyan, Fae, and mortal. All living in harmony. This world had been a secret from many. We thought it would stay that way. A sanctuary hidden among the stars.”

Scarlett had lowered to the sand as Saylah spoke, hugging her knees close to her chest and resting her chin atop them.

“I was forced from hiding when the Everlasting War found its way here,” Saylah continued.

“Tybalt arranged a meeting with the then Avonleyan King. He was your father’s uncle.

We wanted to spare this world. Protect it.

The Fae Queens were sent across the Edria to lead that continent, knowing who and what we would be facing.

The Fae Courts had long been ruled by an Avonleyan and a Fae, and the mortal kingdoms were once one, ruled by a mortal king and queen, but aided by the Courts whenever required.

Our aid was welcomed, and for a time, we appeared to be triumphant in our efforts.

Until Esmeray betrayed us all and joined forces with Deimas. That was when I left to get more help.”

Scarlett sat up straight. “You left?”

Saylah nodded, still scarcely moving. “I returned with the spirit animals this world knows of.

I did not know that while I was gone, Gehenna was sent here.

I did not know that she had stolen the lock and brought it here for Moranna.

I did not know until it was too late. Not until it was decided to put up the Wards.

“The Wards had been part of our plans. We would regroup.

Give the Avonleyans a moment to breathe.

Then we would bring the Wards down and claim victory.

I would see this world restored to peace before I left for good.

The Avonleyan King gave his life as part of the enchantment to enact the Wards, willingly paid the cost for his people.

He did not have children. His husband was killed in the war, as was his brother.

Which left his nephew to assume the throne.

“Except Gehenna had learned of our plans while I was away.

She altered the enchantment, and when the Wards went up, the gateway was sealed.

I could not leave. The spirit animals could not leave.

I could no longer spare this world, and more than that, we did not know how to take down the Wards.

They were only meant to be up for a year, two at most, while we prepared.

The Avonleyans became separated from the Fae, weakened to a point of sure surrender.

The Fae that were here Faded early, part of the enchantment that Gehenna had altered.

The spirit animals could move among the Wards because of what they are, but even their power is a fraction of what it used to be.

And my power? The gods emerged from the Chaos.

That is where our power comes from. By being stuck here, I am cut off from the most powerful sources of Chaos.

My power is not as mighty as it should be.

“The spirit animals were bonded with the Fae Royalty to give them as much protection as I could. The Sorceress was found and imprisoned, but she would not tell Eliné and Henna of the lock. The Shifters and Witches were given gifts to aid the Fae because we could not, and, again, for a while, it seemed they would be victorious. Until Deimas created his own wards, giving his life to do so. But even then, with Deimas gone, there were several decades of quiet after that. The mortals rebuilt, creating the three kingdoms you know now. Esmeray had seemingly disappeared, assumed to have died with Deimas. The other territories settled into their own way of life. And your father and I? He did not know what I was. My secret had died with his uncle, but he knew I was something other. He was relentless, digging until he learned the truth. Another trait I am told you also have.”

Scarlett’s chin was resting on her knees once more as she listened to Saylah’s story. She didn’t look up when she spoke of her father. Just kept her eyes fixed on the sea before her.

“Tethys was strong-willed and uncompromising in so many ways, but he was loved by his people. He knew how to lead, how to fight, how to love. He was everything. We became something more. The world seemed to have calmed. The realm was locked. No way in, and no way out. For the first time in my long life, I wanted more and did not feel foolish for wanting it. Cethin was born, and with his birth, we learned how wrong we had been about everything.”

Scarlett hugged her knees tighter, so many thoughts and feelings going through her, she couldn’t sort them all out. It was enough turmoil to rouse Sorin as his voice echoed down their twin flame bond.

Love? Cethin said you are with Saylah.

I am. I’ll be back soon.

Are you all right?

It took her a moment before she could answer. I don’t know.

Saylah began speaking again after a moment.

“As you know, things escalated when Esmeray reemerged and killed the Fae Royals. We learned Alaric had found a way in and was bringing more. Tethys and I knew we needed to do something, and I spent many decades searching for answers. We wanted to leave. To draw the war from this world, hoping the Maraans would follow. I was what they were after. Me and my own. But we could not leave without the lock. The day I learned you were growing in my womb was the day we became desperate. Your father would have given anything to keep you and your brother safe. He did give everything.”

“Why did I have to be on another continent for this?” Scarlett asked in a hoarse whisper. “Why was it necessary to get me out?”

“I needed to find the lock. It was, and still is, the only way to get you and Cethin out. The one person who knew where it had been hidden was locked away beneath the Black Halls. I went to see Gehenna. She is the one who told me how to find the lock.”

“So how am I the only one who can find it now?”

She felt Saylah’s gaze fix on her again.

“You know the answer to this. I told you when you came to Shira Forest. But you were right that night too, Daughter. You are a god here. Not my god, like you claim. Not like Anala or Silas or any of the others. But to this realm? You may as well be one. There is no one more powerful aside from me.”

“And if I do not wish for such a thing?”

“It is already done. When you took your first breath. It is why you were delivered with the Witches.”

“And I had to be left there alone because…?”

“I did not leave you there alone. I left you with Eliné.”

“My mistake,” Scarlett retorted bitterly.

“You were not meant to be left there as long as you were,” Saylah said. “There was a plan to awaken your gifts when you reached age sixteen. She was to help you find the lock, and then return here. But when Eliné died …”

Scarlett glanced at Saylah when she paused. She could swear there were tears glimmering in her eyes.

Saylah lightly cleared her throat. “When I learned of Eliné’s death, I assumed you had met the same fate. I had no way of knowing otherwise. It was not until Cethin unknowingly found his way into your dreams that I learned you still lived, and by then, everything had changed.”

“Why?”

“Because the Maraans had you. Knew what you carried.”

“I don’t understand,” Scarlett said, digging her toes into the sand. “What do I carry?”

“That is enough for now,” Saylah replied. “Your heart is already too heavy this night.”

“So you decided to add to it and leave me with more questions? What was the purpose of this visit, Saylah?”

“To let you know I understand sacrifice and loss. To help you understand why all this is necessary,” she answered.

“To tell you of your father, who was pure goodness and light. He cared deeply for his people. You and Cethin got that trait from him. I will not pretend that any of that goodness came from me. But I am glad you still feel, Scarlett. It is a dreadful thing to become so numb to loss that you no longer feel the cost of such things. I am glad you found your way back before you lost that light for good.”

“I am more dark than light,” Scarlett murmured. “My stars are my light.”

“Retrieve the lock, Scarlett, and I will tell you more,” Saylah said, gracefully rising to her feet.

“Oh, Saylah. You were so close to actually being a mother,” Scarlett drawled, eyes going back to the sea.

“I have not survived this long by sharing all my knowledge at once. Secrets are the currency of the gods,” she replied, silver gaze fixing on Scarlett as the first light of dawn touched the sand. “But you already know the value of cunning secrecy. That particular trait, Scarlett, did come from me.”

Her words echoed in Scarlett’s mind long after her mother had disappeared amidst her shadows.