Page 82 of Lady of Starfire (Lady of Darkness #5)

He wandered back up to their rooms, but then he kept going to Sorin and Scarlett’s. He knocked once before going inside. It was quiet, but Sorin came out of the bedchamber a moment later.

“Cyrus? Everything all right?”

“Fine,” he muttered, looking past him into the room. “She still sleeping?”

Sorin raked a hand through his hair. “Yeah.”

“But you can still feel her and everything down the bond?”

He nodded, pushing out a harsh breath. “Niara checks in multiple times a day. She says everything is healing as it should. We can only wait.”

The Fire Prince had begun pacing as he spoke, and the corner of Cyrus’s mouth tilted up. “Were you like this when you first brought her to the Court, too? When you kept us all locked out?”

Sorin paused mid-step, letting loose another sigh. “Yeah. Yeah, I was.”

Cyrus snickered, plopping down on the sofa.

“Are you sure you are all right?” Sorin asked, lowering into an armchair.

“Cassius needs a Source.”

Sorin went still for a moment. “Did he ask you?”

“No.”

“Did he ask someone else?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“I feel as though I am missing something here, Cyrus,” Sorin said, studying him in that knowing way of his.

Like he could see past all the bullshit.

He’d always looked at him like that. Ever since Rayner had dragged him to the Fiera Palace, and Cyrus had met the Fire Prince for the first time over a game of cards and a drink.

Cyrus quickly filled Sorin in on the conversation he’d just had with Tybalt, and when he was done, Sorin asked, “Is it something you are still willing to give, Cyrus?”

And wasn’t that the question of the day?

It was late evening when he heard the door to their suite open. He’d been on the balcony for almost an hour now. Thinking. Waiting.

Drinking and smoking mugweed.

The sun was nearly set, and he had small orbs of flames floating above the balcony. Avonleya loved the night. Their odd schedule had been fine for a time, but he was ready to go back to their continent.

He swirled his glass of liquor, the ice clinking as he brought the mugweed to his lips and inhaled. He heard him stop at the doorway. Knew if he turned to look, he’d be leaning against the doorframe, trying to decide what to say.

Pinching the mugweed between his thumb and forefinger, he held it above his head in offering. A moment later, footsteps sounded before Cassius was taking it from his hand.

Cyrus shuffled down the sofa, making room, and Cass took a seat, blowing smoke into the darkening night.

“I’m sorry, Cyrus,” he said after a moment. “I did not intend to keep it from you.”

Cyrus nodded, taking a drink.

“I did know my power wasn’t refilling as much as it should, but I didn’t realize …

” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and arms crossed, mugweed still pinched in his fingers.

“Tybalt came to me this morning because if I ask you for more, if I start drinking more each day, I’m slipping into dangerous territory. Night Child kind of stuff.”

Cyrus reached for the mugweed, taking another drag. “You need a Source.”

“Yeah, Cyrus. I need a Source.”

“Glad you finally figured that out.”

They sat in silence. Cyrus didn’t care. He was more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. They could sit and stare at the sky all fucking night for all he cared.

Finally, Cass said, “That’s all you’re going to say?”

Cyrus shrugged. “Not sure what you want me to say.”

“Something. Anything.”

He took another drag. “Neve is really the only option now, isn’t she?”

“Neve,” Cassius repeated.

Cyrus tipped his head back, exhaling the smoke. “Eliza is tied to Razik. Sawyer is … Unless you want to track down Luan when we get to the continent? But he’s got Avonleyan blood so not sure how that will work. Briar will literally drown you if you ask Ashtine, and Briar is about to be a father.”

When Cassius didn’t say anything, he went on.

“Neve is not as powerful as the others, but she is probably a good choice. She won’t want anything physical, even if the bond pushes for it.

She prefers females.” He tossed the last of the mugweed roll to the ground before he incinerated it.

“You should probably figure it out before we go to the continent, though.”

Cyrus moved to rise from the sofa, but a hand on his shoulder kept him seated.

“We’re not done talking about this.”

“I told you my thoughts. This is your decision, Cass,” Cyrus said, shrugging his hand off his shoulder. “If you don’t want any of them—”

“I don’t.”

“Then there are some Fae on the continent, but they’ll be hard to track down right now with everything going on. I can get a list written up though. Get Sorin’s thoughts, too, before you decide who to ask.”

“And if I ask you?” Cassius asked in a low rumble.

Cyrus flexed his fingers on the glass he still held.

He’d thought about this. All day. Talked about it with Sorin. Tried to sort through his thoughts.

His eyes were fixed on his glass when he said, “Maybe you’ve been right all along, Cass. Maybe it shouldn’t be me.”

He couldn’t look at him. But this topic had been a source of contention between them since they’d come to Avonleya. They’d argued about this more than anything else. They’d had godsdamn fights over this. Maybe if it was taken out of play …

“Are you saying you will be fine if I create this bond with someone else?” Cass finally asked.

No. He hated the idea, but he’d failed so many others. Merrik. Thia. He could spare Cassius from that.

“Because I’m not fine with it,” Cass said when Cyrus didn’t answer. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’ll be perfectly fine if I take another Source.”

“Of course I will not like it,” Cyrus snapped, shooting to his feet. “But this isn’t about me. It’s about you, and what’s best for you.”

“What’s best for me is you,” Cass answered, gaze following him as Cyrus paced in a small circle, dragging both his hands through his hair.

If you can’t see that all you do is damage everyone around you, then I will keep reminding you until you believe it.

“Cyrus.”

His fingers tightened on the strands, tugging at the roots.

No one wants you, Cyrus.

“Cyrus.”

His eyes closed.

If you can’t see that all you do is damage everyone around you, then I will keep reminding you until you believe it.

Hands on his face.

A brow pressing to his.

“Talk to me, Cyrus. If you don’t want to do this, I understand. I get it. I understand if what I said to you was too unforgivable.”

“What are you talking about?” Cyrus rasped, fingers still tugging at his scalp.

“I will not ask this of you if it is not something you want anymore. I understand, Cyrus,” Cassius said again, a hand reaching up and pulling his own from his hair one at a time.

“You think I do not want to?”

“I think I hurt you and do not deserve to ask this of you anymore,” Cass answered. “And I do not want you to feel guilty over that.”

Cyrus’s brows pinched together. “Then what will you do? Take another?”

“No.”

“You need a Source, Cass.”

“If I have learned anything, it’s that there is always a workaround—”

“This is not that,” Cyrus interrupted. “This is … You need this. I thought you understood that.”

He stepped away from him in frustration.

“I understand, but I can’t give that control to anyone but you.”

“It can’t be me!” Cyrus said, the words raw and agonized as they clawed up his throat. “Can’t you see that?”

“Cyrus …”

But now that he’d said it, he couldn’t stop.

The mugweed and the alcohol loosened his tongue, and his thoughts spilled out before he could stop them.

“I can’t ruin you like I ruined them, Cassius.

You speak of being deserving? You deserve so much more than what I can give you.

I couldn’t save Merrik. I made Thia believe we were twin flames, convinced her to offer up a piece of her soul—”

He was cut off when he was pulled through the air, Cassius grabbing his hand and Traveling them. When he blinked, he stood in the foyer of the Greybane manor. Before he could ask what they were doing there, a woman stepped into view.

“Lord Cassius? I did not know we were expecting you tonight,” Magdalena said, wiping her hands on her apron. “If you give me a few moments, I can get your rooms prepared.”

“Thank you, but that will not be necessary. Is my father in?” Cassius asked, hand still wrapped tightly about Cyrus’s.

Magdalena’s brow furrowed. “Yes. I believe he is in his study. Would you like me to fetch him?”

“No, thank you. I will find him,” Cassius said, tugging Cyrus after him as he started down a hall.

“What are we doing here?” Cyrus asked in a hissed whisper.

He didn’t know whether to be pissed, hurt, or relieved that Cassius had Traveled them in the middle of such an important conversation.

“We need to settle something,” Cassius said.

“At this exact moment?”

“Yes,” he answered. He rapped twice on the double doors of Tybalt’s study, pushing them open as soon as they heard Tybalt’s greeting.

The Commander got to his feet when he saw them, surprise and worry crossing his features. “Cassius?”

“What do you know of twin flames?” Cassius asked, finally releasing Cyrus’s hand.

“What?” Cyrus hissed, rounding on him.

Tybalt blinked in clear surprise at the topic, but said, “A fair amount, I suppose.”

“Razik said a twin flame bond occurs between a Legacy and a Fae,” Cassius said.

“Yes. That is true,” Tybalt agreed, eyes moving from Cassius to Cyrus and back again.

Cyrus shoved his hands into his pockets. He didn’t want to hear this. Didn’t need to hear the truth of the matter again. That he and Thia had not been twin flames.

“But one does not need to be a full-blooded Legacy to have a twin flame, correct?” Cassius asked.

“Yes, that is correct. The bond is not usually felt as strongly and can be harder to recognize,” Tybalt said.

“And if two people take the Marks, but they are not twin flames, what would happen?” Cassius pressed.