Page 29 of Kyle (Gold Team #3)

“Anaya,” Kyle called down the basement stairs.

“Yeah?”

“Zane and Ivy are here.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I finished pulling my shirt down and smiled. It had been another great week.

The team was a little frustrated they still hadn’t gotten the green light to take out Harry Landry, but Garrett and Tex were getting closer to unraveling Harry’s business dealings.

I understood the need to keep the man alive while they decided his ultimate fate, but it turned my stomach thinking about what he was doing while he was still allowed to roam free.

Kyle explained there was an undercover CIA agent following his every move. They wanted Harry six feet under but they also wanted intel on the rest of his operation. Thankfully, they were getting close. At least that’s what Tex had said when he called in last night.

It had also been a week of really great mornings.

Seven days ago, I’d told Kyle I was ready for sex, and once that seal had been broken, Kyle decided it wasn’t only broken, it was obliterated.

We’d had sex in the bed, sex in the shower, sex bent over the bed, sex while he sat in the chair and I rode him.

It was like a sex marathon. He was creative, he had stamina, and I couldn’t get enough.

But it was more than really great orgasms. No matter how hard or rough Kyle took me, it was laced with such care and beauty he may as well have been making sweet, slow love to me.

Though he did that, too. But I swear, and I still don’t understand how it was possible, but when he touched me, gentle, soft, demanding, it was still…

more. Every time we came together it was emotional.

We were connecting. We were communicating.

I’d never had this. I’d never trusted anyone enough to let go and be myself. I could be any way I wanted to be in bed and out of it and Kyle made it safe for me to do so. He was demonstrative with his affection, both with words and actions.

He told me every day, several times a day, how beautiful I was.

How strong. How brave. He talked to me about his job like I was an equal.

We’d gone over Monica’s file together and he never got impatient with my questions, he never treated me like I was an idiot when he had to remind me about Omni and Harry Landry’s connection.

There was a lot of information to process and he remained tolerant and even asked for my opinion.

So when I said it had been a week of really great mornings what I really meant was, it had been a really great week, period.

Everything about it was wonderful. Everything about Kyle was beyond my imagination.

Better than any book boyfriend. Better than any hero ever written. Better because he was mine. Just mine.

It was so good in fact, I was now waiting for the shoe to drop, or the curtain, or whatever drops when the bad shit creeps in.

And I told Kyle this. His response was ‘you promised me all of you’.

I had promised him that, and I was keeping it.

I hadn’t hidden anything. Which was scary and freeing, and I was learning it was also exciting.

Remembering Zane was upstairs, I smoothed my shirt and grabbed a hairband off the dresser before I headed up the stairs. When I made it to the living room there was some sort of standoff in progress.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, glancing around the room.

Zane was holding his son close to his chest. Ivy was standing next to him shaking her head and Tatiana and Emerson were standing in front of him looking agitated.

“Go make your own,” Zane growled.

“It’s official. You’ve lost your mind,” Ivy muttered.

“Come on, Zane. Just let us hold him,” Tatiana said.

“Hell no. He’s mine.”

“Zane,” Emerson whined. “Stop being crazy.”

“Seriously, go make your own.”

“Zane,” Ivy whispered. “Give Eric to Tatiana and go talk to the team.”

“I can hold my son and talk to my team. Never too young to start learning strategy.”

“He can’t cogitate, Zane.” Ivy laughed.

“Did you hear that, son? Your mother doesn’t think you can comprehend a mission brief.” Zane shook his head in disgust.

He was being serious. The man had lost his mind.

“I give up.” Ivy threw her hands in the air.

“You don’t see my men trying to steal my kid. They understand,” Zane continued.

“They’re men, Zane. They don’t care about babies,” Tatiana put in.

“No. They understand. There are a few things in life a man doesn’t share. His weapon, his woman, and his kid. ”

“Glad to know your weapon comes before your woman,” Ivy mumbled dejectedly.

I couldn’t help but to laugh. The whole conversation was crazy. Tatiana and Emerson looked totally put out Zane wasn’t going to allow them to hold Eric. Ivy looked exasperated and all the men looked amused.

My gaze landed on Kyle and he shrugged his shoulders, like Zane’s behavior was to be expected.

I barely knew the man, but I’d seen him with his son several times, therefore I knew he was an overprotective weirdo when it came to Eric. No way was he giving his son up.

Obviously understanding arguing with Zane was going to get them nowhere, Tatiana, Emerson, and Ivy all started for the front room.

“You coming?” Ivy asked.

“In a minute.”

Zane walked clutching Eric to his chest to the kitchen table and tossed down a file.

Declan wasted no time opening the folder and I wasted no time moving to Kyle’s side. His arm went around me and he tucked me close. Damn, I loved it when he did that.

“I’m meeting with Tom this afternoon,” Zane started. “Landry has another purchase set up. We can’t wait any longer.”

“Where’s the buy?” Kyle asked.

“Canada,” Zane answered. “But we have a problem.”

Zane tried to shuffle through the papers one-handed but was making a mess of it.

“Here.” I stepped from Kyle and reached for Eric. “Give him to me so you can use both your hands.”

If there was ever a time I understood the meaning of, if looks could kill , it was right then. I may’ve tinkled in my shorts a little as Zane’s eyes narrowed .

“If you drop him, I’ll—”

“Just give him to me.”

I carefully extricated the baby from Zane’s arms and forced myself not to roll my eyes as he continued to stare me down, even though he’d transferred Eric into my arms.

“Are your hands clean?” he snapped.

“What?”

“Have you washed your hands? Don’t touch his face. And don’t breathe on him.”

“You’re insane.” I laughed. “Just finish what you were doing.”

Kyle chuckled and my gaze caught his. He was staring at me with something shining in his eyes that looked a lot like longing.

Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part.

I’d never given much consideration to having children.

Mostly because you need a man to produce them and I’d never thought that would happen.

But now that I had Kyle, and little Eric was in my arms, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking what it would be like to be a mother. I glanced down at his chubby baby cheeks and his face in peaceful slumber and I wondered if Kyle wanted one.

We’d never talked about it but he had talked about not wanting to travel as much for work because he was missing out on his friends starting families. I’d seen him with Linc and Jasmin’s twins and he was good with them, playful, sweet even.

We also hadn’t talked about me taking a new assignment with the Peace Corps and I was purposefully not checking my email because that would mean I wouldn’t be able to ignore the issue and it would need to be discussed.

Something I was afraid to do. Something I was worried would be the shoe that dropped.

And not for the reasons I had originally thought.

At first, I was worried Kyle would tell me he didn’t want me travelling to dangerous places and give me an ultimatum.

Him or the Peace Corps. But over the last week I’d come to realize it was the opposite.

What if he told me, or even encouraged me to go?

What then? What would that mean? The whole situation was exhausting to think about so I didn’t.

I pushed it out of my mind and stayed out of my email.

“The buy is set in Abercorn. It is a small village in Quebec. North of Richford, Vermont,” Zane stated, pulling me from my thoughts.

“And?” Declan inquired. “I’m sensing there’s an issue.”

“Garrett can’t pinpoint exfil with the girls. There are three options. Straight south down I-139 or there are two water crossings.”

Zane pointed to the map he’d laid out.

Abercorn was smack in the middle of two lakes that crossed into the US.

“Why would Garrett consider a water crossing when land would be easier?” Brooks asked. “Looks like it’s, what? Five miles?”

“Six point nine,” Zane corrected. “The reason is, there’s been chatter about boats.

Me and Jax are out. I’m breaking up the rest of you into three, three-man teams. Linc, Colin, and Leo.

Jasmin, Brooks, and Max. Thad, Kyle, and Declan.

You’ll infil together, hopefully get there before the buy, shut that down, and be on your way home.

If not, Linc, Colin, and Leo will take Lake Champlain to the west. Jas, Brooks, and Max will take I-139.

And Thad, Kyle, and Dec will cover Lake Memphremagog to the east.”

“How many girls…”

Declan’s voice faded into white noise as realization dawned.

Kyle was leaving. He was going on a mission and I’d be all alone.

Over the years, I’d been alone a lot. I’d preferred it that way.

It made it easier to live in the safety of my head.

But now? Now my stomach churned. And instead of the normal butterflies I felt when I thought about Kyle, a hundred hornets were stinging me from the inside.

“No fucking way.” Kyle’s angry voice pulled me from my gloom.

“Christ,” Zane bit out. “Stop thinkin’ with your dick for thirty seconds. We need to get this shit done. Best case, you all are back in a few days. If the girls are smoke, it could take some time. Time we do not have. Ashaki reported—”

“Fuck, Ashaki,” Kyle sneered. “We still don’t know if she’s playin’ both sides.”

“Calculated risk,” Zane returned.

“Fuck that noise. Would you put your woman out there based on a calculated risk? Hell, no you wouldn’t. But you want Anaya and Emerson to swing in the wind. Hell to the motherfucking no.” Kyle’s growl brokered no argument.

Or at least I thought it hadn’t, but Zane felt differently.

“Tex has vetted and confirmed all of Ashaki’s intel.

It’s good. Emilio Ruiz refused to turn until his family was offered WITSEC.

She made that happen. With Ruiz’s family safe, he’s spillin’ his guts.

Emerson and Anaya are our best options.”

Best options? For what? Apparently, I’d spaced out longer than I’d thought.

“You know I’ll do anything you need me to do,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure what I was agreeing to.

“Anaya—”

“I thought you wanted Harry taken down?” I cut Kyle off.

“Not this way.”

“And what way is that?”

“The way where you and Emerson fly to Connecticut alone and interview Monica.”

Oh. That’s what I’d agreed to. Yeah, I wasn’t too keen on not having one of the men with us .

“They won’t be alone. Jeremy will be with them,” Zane cut in.

“Don’t fuckin’ like it one bit,” Thad added, and Kyle turned to his boss with a raised brow.

“I’ll call Myles and have him escort Emerson and Anaya to Connecticut.

Once Jeremy has them, Myles is catchin’ a flight with his team.

I cannot pull Blue off their mission. Garrett found a link with another Omni player and there’s an arms deal going down in Mexico.

They have one shot to take it down.” Zane stopped and exhaled loudly.

“I get it. I really fuckin’ do, but we need Anaya and Emerson.

If we didn’t, I’d gladly lock their asses up at HQ with Tatiana and the rest of the women.

But we need them, and you know it. Nothing left to do but pull your big boy pants up and deal with it. ”

Wrong thing to say. Way wrong. Kyle’s face turned red before he turned and stomped out of the room. Thad looked like he was getting ready to challenge Zane to a duel to the death and the rest of the team weren’t happy either.

“Thad,” I started. “I know this isn’t ideal—”

“Ideal? My wife was taken. You were taken. This shitstorm is the epitome of fucked. Neither of you should be anywhere near this operation.”

“But we are. And we’re the only two who can relate to Monica and hopefully get her to open up to us. It’s the only way, and you know it. Myles will take us up and everything will be fine.”

“You don’t even know Myles,” Thad barked.

“Don’t need to. You and Kyle trust Zane. And if this Myles person works for Zane, then Zane trusts him.”

“Anaya—”

“We’re gonna be fine,” I cut him off. “I need to do this. After what happened to me, I need to feel useful. I need to face my fears. And I need your help to do it. Kyle will never be okay with this, unless his team has his back. Please help me.”

Everyone was silent and I sighed. They weren’t going to help me.

“Thad—” I started.

“I don’t like it one goddamn bit. It has ‘disaster’ written all over it. But I also know Emmy, she’s relentless and won’t back down. I feel better knowing the two of you will be together.”

“Thank you. I’m gonna go find Kyle.”

I turned to leave but Zane stopped me. “Not with my son, you’re not.”

I squared my shoulders and turned the baby away from him. “Penitence for telling my man to pull up his big boy pants. Now it’s your turn. I’m giving Eric back to his mother, so her friends can cuddle and love on him, without his crazy father acting like a fool.”

Zane’s growl didn’t scare me. He was all bark and no bite. At least with the women in his life. There was no doubt he could snap a man in half with his bare hands and not break a sweat. But he’d never hurt me.

“How’d you get the baby?” Emerson asked, stunned, when I walked into the formal living room.

“Did you have to knock out Zane?” Tatiana smiled.

“Here.” I lowered Eric into Emerson’s waiting arms. “Don’t touch his face. Don’t breathe on him. I don’t even think you’re allowed to look at him.”

“God knows I love my husband. And part of that is because of how hard he loves. How protective he is. But this? This is so over the top it’s insane. He’s gonna give himself a heart attack if he doesn’t calm down.”

I looked at Ivy and I had to agree, Zane was being over the top.

But I couldn’t help feeling a little jealous of baby Eric.

He was ten days old and had no idea how loved he was.

How much his father adored him. How his mother’s eyes danced with joy every time she looked at him.

Eric Lewis would never in his lifetime know what loneliness was. He’d never be cast away.

“But it sure beats the alternative.”

“Yeah, it sure does,” she whispered.

Then I went in search of my man.