Page 21 of Kyle (Gold Team #3)

It had taken me a few minutes to find a comfortable position, but when Kyle propped some extra pillows behind me keeping my head elevated, I could breathe. That was, until Kyle pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on top of his open backpack.

With nothing more than a lift of his brow he climbed into bed next me.

I might’ve been a tad more appreciative than I should’ve been when he didn’t ask me if I was all right.

I didn’t want him treating me like I was some crazy woman he had to check in with every five seconds to make sure I wouldn’t freak out.

But the truth was, I totally wasn’t okay.

But it had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with him being shirtless and abso-freaking-lutely hot bare-chested.

Well-defined pecs and a six pack graced his front and I wanted to ask him to turn around so I could verify his back was just as muscular, but I didn’t.

Only because I was afraid that would be a little weird—but I had no problem staring at him as he got into bed .

Kyle rolled to his side facing me, propped his elbow on the bed to support his head, and stared at me.

His gaze was disconcerting and I braced when he opened his mouth. “Tell me about what happened after you left Amisha’s.”

Not at all what I wanted to talk about while Kyle was lying next to me with his shirt off after he’d told me straight out he felt the same way I did and wanted to explore those feelings.

Then he’d led the conversation to sex, and as embarrassed as I’d been, his candor and openness made it easy for me to be honest in return.

I was worried about a physical relationship.

How could I not be? But I trust Kyle to take us where we needed to be.

“Do you really want to do this?”

“Want to? Fuck, no. Do we need to do it? Yes.”

“And if I don’t want to talk about it?”

“Then we shelve it for another day, but I’d strongly try to persuade you to get it all out now so it doesn’t fester.”

On a heavy sigh I told him everything; from taking the girls to the new orphanage, to the drive back to Dili, about my fear when I knew something was wrong with my driver.

I was as honest as I could be about all my thoughts and feelings.

I told him how my ribs had been injured, being chained below deck.

The interrogation by the Italian guy, getting slapped over and over again because I wouldn’t tell him Kyle and Declan’s name.

Kyle didn’t interrupt me once, but he didn’t have to verbally tell me how he was feeling.

His features did the talking for him. They’d turned stone-cold when I talked about being chained and slapped.

But gentled when I promised I hadn’t given his name.

He let me ramble and get out what I had to.

I felt safe for the first time in a very long time.

And not just since being rescued from the boat, or since the rebels had invaded my village. Maybe for the first time in my life.

“Did anyone violate you?” His question took me off-guard and it took me a moment to understand.

“Are you asking me if I was raped?”

“Yes, sweetheart, that’s what I’m asking.” His tone was gentle and his voice just above a whisper.

“No, and no one tried.”

Kyle nodded but his features were unreadable.

“You wanna try to get some sleep? We have about four hours until we have to get ready to go to the airport.”

“You okay?” I inquired.

“No. And since we’re starting what’s happening between us off with complete honesty, I’ll tell you straight up, I boarded that boat knowing I was going to end every man’s life aboard.

I felt no remorse in doing so. Had I known the details, I wouldn’t have made it as painless for them as I did.

And here’s some more honesty for you, I wasn’t feeling all that generous seeing as the woman who’d captured my attention had been kidnapped, so I didn’t go easy. ”

I was speechless. I couldn’t form words as I tried and failed to process what he’d told me.

Never had anyone ever been on my side, cared about my safety, protected me.

No one, not ever, so I didn’t know how to process that, either.

I couldn’t begin to understand how it was possible this big, strong, good-looking man would drop everything to come to my aid.

I just knew it felt good he had. I knew it felt like my heart was beating out of my chest and I didn’t want this feeling to go away.

“I don’t know what to say,” I finally spoke.

“Nothin’ to say. But you also should know what you’re getting into with me. My job takes me lots of places, dangerous places, where dangerous men mean to do others harm. It’s my mission to make sure that doesn’t happen. ”

“I assumed that was the case,” I whispered.

“Assuming and knowing are two very different things. Can you handle that?”

“Knowing what you do for a living? Yes. Knowing that you’ll be facing off with dangerous men? That part will scare me, but I think I can handle it.”

Maybe. Kind of. Sort of. The thought of Kyle putting himself in danger scared the hell out of me, but it was who he was.

Hadn’t he just done that very thing to rescue me?

It was a huge part of why I admired him.

What attracted me to him, his bravery, his willingness to help those who couldn’t help themselves.

I understood that calling. I appreciated it.

And as much as it freaked me out, I’d do my best to handle it.

“Thank you for your honesty.” Kyle brought our hands to his lips and he kissed my fingers.

“Do you feel it, too?” I blurted out.

“Yeah, sweetheart, I do.”

Thank God he understood what I was asking because I wasn’t sure if I was questioning the intense connection I felt, or the sparks when he did something as simple as kiss my hand.

“This feels like more than getting to know each other,” I told him.

“It does,” he confirmed. “And I have to tell you I’m pleased as fuck you see it that way. It’d suck if I was the only one feeling it.”

What man says that?

I thought men were supposed to hide their feelings.

“What happens after tomorrow?”

“We go back to Maryland and figure things out.”

“Is that where you live?”

It was so totally bizarre that Kyle and I had had a conversation about sex and what sounded like to me starting a relationship, yet I didn’t even know where he lived.

Hell, I didn’t know much about him, period.

But strangely I knew all the important stuff.

I knew he’d drop everything he was doing if I needed help.

I knew he was honest and trustworthy. I knew he had a heart for service and he was humble about it.

I knew he was kind and gentle and was willing to put up with all my crazy. That was good enough for me for now.

“At the moment, yes.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’ve spent the last few years overseas. There was no point in paying for a house or apartment when I wasn’t going to use it. So I don’t have one.”

How did I forget about that? My eyes drifted closed and my heart started to hurt. He travelled for work. I travelled with the Peace Corps. How would a relationship work? Phone calls? Emails? Long distance and time between us? I didn’t like that thought at all.

“Maybe—”

“Don’t say it, Anaya. We’ll work it out. Headquarters is based in Maryland and I’m stateside now. The contract we were working is done and Zane, my boss, knows the team doesn’t want to spend another two years in the sandbox.’

“Earlier you said there were issues with your job.”

“Told you about Harry Landry and his ties to Omni,” Kyle started and I nodded because I remembered.

It still freaked me out that a man who’d made a large donation to NCMEC was actually a sex trafficker.

“Right before you and I met, the team was finishing a mission. Emerson, who is married to one of my teammates, Thad, was kidnapped and taken to Mexico. After we rescued her, we found a note threatening the company if we didn’t pull back. ”

“And these Omni people are the ones that threatened you?”

“Yes. Not just my team, who’d been tracking them, the company as a whole. The note mentioned some of the wives. ”

“You didn’t want to bring me into the middle of that?”

It doesn’t sound like I want to be in the middle of that mess.

“I won’t lie to you, these men are seriously fucked-up.

Their reach is far and wide and we only know the half of it.

But, and this is the part you need to trust me on, we will not let anything happen to you.

I won’t let anything happen. That was why I thought I was making the right decision letting you go, told you I was wrong about that.

I’m not perfect, I fuck up, but I never make the same mistake twice.

You have a choice; we can stash you away in a safehouse until this is over or you can trust me to keep you safe and stay with me.

But you have to know, the endgame is the same.

We’re gonna explore what’s between us. We can continue that now, or hit the pause button and wait. Either way, I’m not letting you go.”

“A safehouse?” I whispered.

“We have many. You’d be completely cut off from the outside world and guarded twenty-four-seven.”

“But you wouldn’t be that guard?”

“No.”

Kyle said I had a choice, but I didn’t. Not really.

I didn’t want to be locked away in a safehouse somewhere without him.

I wanted to explore a relationship with Kyle.

I’d promised myself I wouldn’t waste another opportunity, and a safehouse, while it may’ve been the smarter of the two options, felt a lot like hiding. Something I’d done too much of.

“I wanna stay with you.”

“Yeah?” He sounded surprised and I didn’t like it.

“If you say you’ll keep me safe, I trust you.”

His body relaxed and his eyes had gone lazy. The new look made him incredibly sexy. A look I wanted more of—a lot more.

I tried to stifle a yawn but Kyle saw it. He rolled to the side, hit the little switch near the nightstand, plunging the hotel room into darkness, and rolled back to me.

“Get some sleep, sweetheart.”

I wanted to verify he wasn’t going to leave but I refrained. Kyle had promised to keep me safe and I knew down to my soul, he’d keep that promise. So really there was no need to ask; I knew he’d stay beside me.

I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep but my mind wouldn’t shut off.

In a few hours I was going back to the States with a man I desperately wanted to get to know better.

A man who scared me shitless because I knew if things didn’t work out, I’d be crushed.

And it was only a matter of time before he realized I was too fucked-up to fix.

I talked a big game about wanting to move forward, about wanting to be normal, but the truth was, I wasn’t brave.

Not when it came to my demons. They always won.

“Take a chance, Anaya,” Kyle whispered in the darkness. “I swear I won’t let you fall.” But I would fall, I already was. “Be brave and jump, sweetheart.”

He tightened his grip on my hand and I squeezed back. A nonverbal agreement I hoped like hell I would survive.