Page 25 of Kyle (Gold Team #3)

It was after two in the morning when we left the hospital and Brooks drove us to a house Kyle had explained Zane’d rented for the team to stay in.

I hadn’t wanted to say anything but I was relieved Brooks was driving and not Declan. Not that that was an option, considering he’d opted to stay at the hospital, but I was happy all the same not to have another death-defying experience.

Declan drove like a maniac.

When we’d walked in, Brooks and Tatiana and Thad and Emerson had peeled off, going to their bedrooms.

Brooks, Max, and Thad had already claimed their rooms, leaving me wondering where I was going to sleep.

The house was gigantic. Spacious, open floor plan downstairs, leaving the kitchen, dining, and living rooms all in full view from the foyer.

To the left when you first walked in was a formal seating area, directly in front were the stairs, and a little to the right was all the rest. There were also two closed doors—Max had explained one led to the basement and the second was the bedroom he’d taken .

There was still one unaccounted for bedroom upstairs and an in-law suite in the basement.

“We’re taking the basement,” Kyle announced. “Dec can take the room upstairs.”

“Figured that’d be the case.” Max chuckled. “You want a beer, Anaya? Or a glass of wine?”

Something had changed in Max over the last ten hours. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him friendly, but his attitude had softened.

I was dog-assed tired but didn’t want him to think I was rude, even if I shouldn’t have cared after the way he’d treated me. But it wasn’t in me to hold a grudge. They took too much energy and effort.

“A beer would be great,” I answered.

“Kyle?” Max called on his way to the kitchen.

“I’ll take one, too.”

Kyle led us to the couch and gestured for me to sit. Max came back in and handed us our beers and took a comfortable-looking lazy boy. He pushed out the footrest and laid back in the overstuffed chair and let out a grunt.

“Wild night, huh?”

“Always is when Tom comes to visit,” Kyle returned.

“I cannot believe you all call the president by his first name. Wait, rewind, I cannot believe I was in the same room as the president,” I gawked. “That was insane. And I already thought the whole day had been crazy with two babies being born.”

“We don’t call him that when we’re in public, but when we’re alone, he insists,” Max started.

“And believe me, it took a while for all of us to get used to it. But when you slip and call him President Anderson, he threatens bodily harm. The man may look like a polished politician but make no mistake—the man is deadly.”

“That’s hard to believe after I saw the man making baby talk at Ivy and Zane’s son. And he sang to Jax and Violet’s son.”

“Declan looked…” Kyle faded.

“Emotional?” Max supplied.

“Yeah. That’s the word, though I never thought I’d call Dec emotional.”

I found that to be an interesting statement. I’d seen Declan lash out due to extreme emotion. He’d done it to me, twice. I wondered if they didn’t consider anger an emotion.

“I think it’s sweet that both babies have their uncles’ names.”

“I think Dec was surprised Vi and Jax would give Mason Declan as a middle name,” Kyle commented.

“Why? Declan’s Violet’s brother.”

“You’ve known him a short time. He told you about how he grew up, the two of them being separated. Does he seem like the type of man who forms close bonds?” Kyle asked.

I thought about his question and found it odd. “Well, yeah. He seems close to you and the rest of the guys.”

“Not even close. He would give his life for any of us. He jokes with us. He sticks his nose in everyone’s business but he is a vault. No one gets close to Declan. What you see is surface. Everything else is off-limits.”

“But I’m a stranger and he opened up to me,” I argued.

“Only because he was a dick and needed to apologize. The only way to do that was to give you a piece of his childhood. But, sweetheart, it was a sliver, not even a slice.”

That made me sad. But the more I thought on how much I hated that for Declan, the more I could identify with him. I’d done the same. I wasn’t close to anyone. Not really. Even with Kalee and Evie I only gave them what I could handle, which wasn’t much.

I took a sip of my beer and settled into the couch.

“What’s going on in your head?” Max asked .

“I’m wondering if people like us—me and Declan—if we’re destined to be alone.”

“Why would you wonder that?”

“Maybe the trauma of our pasts is too great to overcome. Maybe we’re too damaged.

I don’t know, I’ve always kept everyone at arm’s length.

It’s easier than having to answer uncomfortable questions about your past. It’s safer to lock yourself away so no one can hurt you again.

But honestly, I’ve never thought about what it does to the people who are trying to reach out.

My friend, Evie, she tries, or maybe she used to.

But I’d never open up. Kalee did, too, and I’d always redirect the conversation to something else.

I wonder if they looked like the two of you do right now, every time I pushed them away. ”

“How do we look?” Max pushed.

“Like you’re both hurt that Declan won’t reach out and allow you to be the friend he needs.”

“You’re right, we are. Hurt, that is. He doesn’t have to be the way he is. Neither do you, Anaya.” Max drained the last of his beer, shoved the footrest back in, and stood. “I’m hittin’ the sack. I’ll leave you two to it.”

Kyle waited until Max disappeared into his bedroom before he turned to me. “You ready for bed?”

Was I ready to sleep? Hell yeah. I was beat. Was I ready to go down into the basement with Kyle when he looked furious? Hell to the no.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Fuck no.”

“Then why do you look so pissed?”

“Because I’m trying to remind myself that the motherfucker who hit you is dead while at the same time I’m wondering if it’s possible for my buddy Tex to track down every person who’s ever done you wrong so I can put them to ground, too. ”

Tingles started racing up my back. He was pissed-off on my behalf.

I wasn’t sure anyone ever had been. Sure, I’d seen the FBI agents that rescued me look at me with detached pity.

I’d seen social workers look at me with kindness.

But they were overworked with huge caseloads, so I was merely a blip on their radar.

But no one had ever been angry for me.

I wordlessly reached for his empty bottle, and when he handed it to me, I stood. After tossing the empties in the trash I went back into the living room and found Kyle had moved to the basement door.

“You okay with what I said?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“You look scared, sweetheart.”

“I am,” I admitted, and Kyle flinched. “I’m scared because I promised myself when I was chained in that boat, I wouldn’t waste another chance.

I’m scared because I’m going to open myself up to you and there’s a possibility you’re not gonna want me.

But mostly I’m scared because what if you do, and I can’t give you what you need? ”

Standing there in the living room, Kyle changed.

It was something profound, something I didn’t ever want to forget.

His mouth lowered to mine, but this time instead of a brush, he kissed me.

I opened for him, and ever so gently, he glided his tongue against mine.

It was slow and gentle. Exploratory. Way before I was ready, Kyle pulled back and kissed my forehead.

“What you just gave me was more than enough.”

“A kiss?” I whispered.

“No, not the kiss, though it was fuckin’ sweet. I was talking about your honesty. You opening up to me. All I need is a crack, Anaya, and I’ll crumble the rest.”

“It might be hard,” I admitted.

“Not afraid of a little hard work, sweetheart. ”

“Might be more than a little hard.”

“Then let me amend. I’m not afraid of busting my ass to make sure you feel safe enough to keep giving me what you just did.

I’m not afraid to put in the time and work if it means you’ll get what you need to heal and move on with your life.

I’m not afraid to admit there’s something about you that makes me want things I never dreamed I’d want. ”

It was crazy. Totally and completely insane that I felt the same way. I had never dreamed in a million years I’d desperately want someone to know me. The real me. The fear. The demons. All the shit I pushed down and was scared to deal with.

I wanted to tell him everything so I could finally shed the weight of my past and find the strength I needed to put it all behind me.