Page 32 of Knot Her Cowboys (Big Sky Omegas #2)

C ash practically tripped over himself sprinting toward us, skidding to a stop with his hand on his chest. “Thank fucking god. What the hell happened?”

Riley clung to me like I was a lifeline, fingers locked in my shirt, her tears soaking into the fabric.

“Darlene” was all I said.

“Motherfucker. One fence isn’t enough for that monster of a woman.

” He sandwiched Riley between us, hand softly cupping her hair.

We locked eyes, all of his emotions on display in his gaze: fear, regret, a fuckload of love for the woman in our arms. “Construction crew will be here in two hours to put in gates that need a fob or code to get through. New guests will have to talk to reception through the code box to be let in.”

I nodded stiffly. Extra security wasn’t ideal, but I wasn’t going to let a repeat of what just happened occur.

I’d always known Darlene could be vicious, but typically I’d been faced with the aftermath.

It was rare to actually witness her brutality since she tended to keep that behind closed doors.

Or at least she had. It seemed all bets were off now that Riley was back and nothing was off the table when it came to keeping her daughter from slipping through her fingers again.

“I’ll put in a rush order for some motion-activated cameras we can put around the perimeter near any roads. Thoughts on some electric fencing?”

“Blackberries, too. If a shock doesn’t stop Darlene, maybe some old-fashioned thorns will do the job.”

Riley gave a sound that was part sob, part laugh. “Nothing much stops her, but I like the mental image.”

I fought with dueling compulsions: leave her with Cash so I could go back to guarding my heart, or steal her away and dote on her the way I wanted to, the way I had always done when Darlene fucked her up in the past.

As if she could sense I might bolt, she held on tighter.

“Cooper.” Her voice cracked. “Please don’t leave me. I know—I know it’s a shit thing to ask after what I did, but I’m asking anyway.”

“He won’t leave,” Cash said firmly, holding me hostage with his eyes. “It’s more than time you two talked, and now is as good as any.”

He wasn’t wrong, but I bristled anyway. “Let’s get you inside, at least. You could probably use some water and a shower after rolling around on the ground.”

Riley nodded, still not relinquishing her grip on me.

With a gentle sigh I patted the back of her thighs in a silent request for her to at least hop into my arms so we could move. She hissed at the contact.

Cash dropped to his knees and winced. “You’ve got some good splinters there, honey bun.”

“I’ll deal with them,” I said after a beat. “Not the first time I’ve had to dig splinters out of her.”

Cash nodded decisively. “I’m going to get back on the phone with the crew so we can Darlene-proof this place, and I’ll also let Dakota and Levi know what went down. Neither of you bolt away into the night until I get back, all right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” I stared up at the sky, willing myself to be strong enough to spend time alone with Riley.

I awkwardly scooped her up, doing my best to avoid the splinters so I didn’t drive them deeper.

Once we were in the big house, I set her on her feet and snatched a pillow off the couch, dropped it onto the dining room table, and then patted the wood for her to hop up.

She looked so unsure as she draped herself face down across the table, pillow beneath her hips.

“Sorry in advance,” I said as I pulled one of our first aid kits out from under the sink. I used a damp cloth to wipe the worst of the dust away and then smeared antiseptic over the backs of her thighs.

Riley hissed, letting out a little whimper.

“Gonna hurt for a while,” I said softly, apologetically, as I flipped on the light overhead and pulled out one of the chairs to sit, a pair of tweezers in my hand.

“Do what you have to.”

She made tiny sounds of pain and protest as I diligently worked through one splinter at a time, ensuring I got every last bit out.

It wasn’t the worst case she’d ever had, and not nearly as bad as the time she’d fallen into a patch of prickly pear when we’d been running around where we shouldn’t have.

“You want to tell me why Darlene was hollering about Darrell Decker? What did she mean that he’d still take you? When was he ever going to take you?”

“Darlene tried to sell me to him to get back into the compound.”

I froze, hot fury sliding through my veins. “ What ? When the hell was this?”

“The summer I turned seventeen. Honestly, I’m surprised she waited that long. I was already getting a little old for his taste.”

“Christ.” I breathed out the word, nausea turning my gut. “He’d have been thirty at the time. Why didn’t you tell me? Did he hurt you? Because I’ll?—”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you.” She sighed, white-knuckle gripping the edge of the table.

“You’d have gotten yourself killed and I couldn’t live with that.

But to answer your second question, no, he didn’t.

Tried to, would have if his cardio wasn’t shit.

Sometimes Darlene would invite him over without telling me and just leave me there with him.

I knew the sound of her footsteps, though, and when it wasn’t them coming up the hallway I’d bolt out the window.

He was never fast enough to catch me before he got winded. ”

I picked through my memories of that year. “Were those the nights I found you sleeping in the barn come morning?”

She nodded, not offering up more than that.

“I figured Darlene had just gone overboard. I had no idea it was because she was arranging that . Fucking hell. Darlene and the Decker men are trash.”

“Wouldn’t touch any of them with a ten-foot pole,” she agreed.

“Darlene didn’t give a fuck that the Decker boys were abusing their girlfriends, or that I already had someone I loved.

She and I both knew my future if her shit plan succeeded, but my happiness and safety has always been an acceptable sacrifice for her. ”

“I keep being surprised by how much more I can hate that woman,” I said after a moment, trying to process this additional layer of abuse Riley had endured.

I tried to focus back onto the task at hand while my brain turned over the new information. She didn’t need an infection from the splinters sitting too long, or me missing one, so even with my hands shaking with rage over Darlene, I diligently cared for the injuries in front of me.

“I know it doesn’t seem like I’m glad you’re back,” I said as I dug out a particularly deep splinter, “but I am.”

“Definitely doesn’t seem like it.” I heard the pout in her voice even though I didn’t look up from my work to see it.

“It almost killed me when you left, no matter how much I knew you needed to. Hell, if I didn’t need to be around for Morgan, I might’ve actually given up when you went no contact.

” I sighed, moving around the table to get started on the other leg.

“I know myself well enough now to understand what will happen if I let you in and you leave again. I also know that what happened today probably has you looking pretty seriously at running.”

Riley didn’t respond, simply tucking her face into the crook of her elbow, shoulders shaking.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re not.” She lifted her tear-streaked cheeks. “I don’t want to go.”

“Then don’t.”

We both fell silent until I had completed my task, swiping more antiseptic over her skin and helping her back to her feet.

“Cash is going to do everything humanly possible to keep you safe, and I wasn’t lying about being willing to dump Darlene in a gully somewhere. After all the hell she put you through, it’s no more than she deserves. I’ll do the same for anyone who comes for you.”

“I don’t want to go,” she said again. “I never expected any of this when I came back, but I love Cash, I can see myself loving Dakota and Levi easily, and you… I don’t blame you if you don’t love me anymore, Cooper, but I stayed away because I was scared, not because I stopped loving you.

I can’t stay if you hate me, and I understand if I’m not worth a second chance, but… ”

Her words were knives carving their way straight through me.

“Fuck, Riley, I’ve loved you since the day you walked into kindergarten with your lopsided pigtails, demanding to be best friends because my hand-me-down shirt had faded to your favorite color.

I never stopped loving you, not for one fucking second. ”

Her mouth on mine was nirvana. Absolute fucking perfection despite the tears tinging the kiss with salt.

My survival instincts screamed that this was very, very stupid, but her lips shut them down in short order.

The way her arms locked behind my neck rocketed me back to our last kiss right before she’d left.

She’d cried then, too. If I’d known it might’ve been the last time, I’d have never let her go.

I cupped her cheeks, reminding myself she was real, as if the bloom of her sweet lupine scent and the warmth of her pressed against me wasn’t doing enough to convince me.

My growl surprised both of us, Riley gasping into my mouth as I backed her up until she hit the wall, needing the pressure of our bodies together.

I craved this woman down to the marrow of my bones.

Now that she was in my arms, I wanted to squirrel her away somewhere and keep her there until she went into heat so I could leave my mark on her throat and claim her as mine.

She’d always been mine. And gods willing, she always would be.

But she still left once.

She could again.

I pulled away, planting my hands on the wall beside her head instead of on her skin like I wanted. It didn’t matter how much I craved her or how much I loved her. If she couldn’t commit herself to staying, I couldn’t let myself have her.

Every breath was tainted with the lingering taste and scent of her. I wanted to drown in both and it pissed me off more than anything that I couldn’t, because while I might love her, I didn’t trust her anymore.

Did it make me feel like a dick? Fucking yes, but it remained true. I couldn’t logic my way out of the hurt she’d caused. Knowing why, knowing what happened after, didn’t change the pain; it only transformed it.

“I can’t do this.” The words were like fire in my throat.

Her fingers locked on my shirt. “Cooper, please .”

I shuddered. “I have to show you something first.”

Riley blinked up at me, eyes shining, and nodded slowly.

I led her upstairs, every step like I had an anchor dragging behind me.

She needed to know how tightly I’d held on all of these years, even if that pushed her to leave again.

I didn’t regret it. The level of delusion I’d clung to over the past decade was a necessity to get through our time apart, and if it freaked her out enough that it chased her off, so be it. Better to know sooner than later.

She followed me up the stairs and I unlocked the door at the end of the hall that hid stairs leading up to the loft.

“What’s up there?”

“Your omega suite.”

Riley stopped short. “Why do you have an omega suite? Cash said you guys never had anyone.”

“I said your omega suite. It’s been yours since we built this place. No one else has ever stayed there.”

“What do you mean it’s mine ?” She trotted up the stairs after me, catching up quickly as I unlocked the door at the top.

The only explanation I could give was opening the door and exposing the depths of my obsession.

Riley fell silent as she stared inside.

“I’m going for a ride. If you’re going to leave again, I imagine you’ll take Cash with you.

I’ll understand if you ice me out after this, but don’t do that with the others.

Cash loves you. So does Morgan and she misses you.

Dakota and Levi are well on their way to loving you too.

If you’re going to stay, you need to know everything, and you need to make that commitment.

I can’t move forward with anything less. ”

She was still staring into the room, eyes darting to a thousand things that probably had her questioning my mental well-being in the time she was gone. I slipped away down the stairs, not turning back when she called out my name.

I bolted for the stables and didn’t even bother with a saddle and bridle for Ranger.

I swung onto his back after opening the gate and let him race out.

His hooves thundered against the dry ground, following a familiar path that led us up into the foothills.

I held tightly to his mane, trying to let my anxiety fall away in the wind that whipped over me.

Meadow and field blurred around me. Tears filled my eyes, anxiety clogging my throat, and my chest squeezing until it felt like I might burst.

Riley would choose me or she wouldn’t, and I had no control over either.

All I could do was wait for the hammer to come down and hope it didn’t destroy me.