Page 21 of Knot Her Cowboys (Big Sky Omegas #2)

R iley stared at me for a long moment before her fingers went up to touch the woven blossoms. “You remembered?”

“Never forgot. Saw the lupines and paintbrushes growing on the side of the road and couldn’t help myself. The ones I made earlier got overheated in the car, and I can’t have you wearing shriveled flowers for your birthday.”

The sorrowful whimsy in her eyes turned sharp a second later. “Cooper, where the fuck did you go?”

“Out,” I evaded.

She shared a quick look and a tilt of her head with Dakota and Cash, both of them quietly slipping away to leave us alone.

Riley moved toward me, but I brought down the cupcake box to block her. I wasn’t ready to touch her yet. My brain would run wild if I got my hands on her, and I needed to keep the distance for now.

She frowned, stopping short. “I thought you were going to disappear forever.”

Relief at having her in front of me smashed against all the bitterness of our years apart. “I don’t think I’m the one of this pair we need to worry about that happening with.”

She wilted instantly and I felt like a colossal asshole. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. You and I don’t lie to each other, Riley.”

Her scent turned sharp, burnt, and her eyes filled with tears like I’d seen them thousands of times before, but never caused by me.

I wanted to both hug her and shake her like a snow globe. I had loved her my whole fucking life, and I still did, but my feelings weren’t a switch I could flip on and off. I had to wade through them first, and I had a lot of frustration built up.

“I’ve got to get these cupcakes in the fridge so the buttercream doesn’t melt.”

She followed after me, hesitating for only a moment before falling into step next to me. I shortened my stride so she wouldn’t have to hurry.

“Where did you go?” she asked quietly.

“Had to take a couple forks out.”

“Forks?”

“Every problem is a fork stuck into you. Some are pitchforks, some are regular dinner forks, and some are those mini plastic ones they used to use for snacks. Seeing you by surprise in Cash’s bed was a pitchfork, and I had to leave to yank that out.

Once that was gone, I remembered all the smaller forks that would pop up because you were here. ”

She blinked at me, brows furrowing in confusion.

“The first was that I didn’t want to look like absolute fucking shit seeing you for the first time again and instead you caught me mid–panic attack.

That’s why I got the haircut and took some time to calm down.

The second was that it was your birthday and I didn’t have anything ready because I didn’t know I would have to.

Hence the fresh flower crown and the cupcakes. Forks gone.”

“Sorry I pitchforked you.”

“Sorry I panic-attacked on you.”

Riley sighed, staring at my hand for a few seconds like she wanted to slip hers into it.

I wanted her to, but instead she laced her fingers together with a sigh.

She was probably respecting the space I’d demanded, though it didn’t stop the flare of disappointment.

Respecting boundaries was important, and not something we’d ever really discussed when everyone else was busy steamrolling us.

She said quietly, “I imagined us reuniting a lot of times and not a single one of those went like this.”

“Is it bad I’m a little relieved none of them included a naked Cash?” I said with an awkward laugh.

“That part was just as much a surprise to me.” Her laugh was softer, her scent less burnt as we walked side by side.

I held open the door to the kitchen for her and she went straight ahead, opening up the walk-in cooler so I could put away the cupcakes.

“Did you want to tell me everything that happened? How did you end up here?”

So she told me about the plans for Germany, the screaming match breakup with her fiancés, the heat flare with Cash that left her bonded to my pack.

A sick surge of delight swelled at that. Cash wasn’t going anywhere and that meant Riley wasn’t either. The delight was immediately squashed. She hadn’t sounded very excited for Germany, but she did love New York.

“Did you never start your restaurant?”

Her cheeks flushed and she stared at her feet. “No. I kind of gave up on that and haven’t worked for a few years.”

New forks dug into me as she explained how she had set aside her dreams one by one for the assholes who hadn’t even cared when my pack had fished her out of a river. My eye twitched.

The Riley I remembered had fought every fucking day to keep her sparkle alive against the barrage from her mother. Then for her to get her dream of going to culinary school in New York and throw it all away for a pair of rich assholes was the opposite of what I had ever expected from her.

She was embarrassed by that, and the petty part of me was stubbornly crossing its metaphorical arms, insisting she deserved to be.

I wrestled with it in my head. If I had been there, maybe she wouldn’t have sought out support from people who didn’t really care. But that was her fault too, pulling away from everyone who loved her.

I could have all the sympathy in the world and still not understand.

How could I fix anything when she wouldn’t let me? The hot second Morgan was out of the house, I would’ve followed Riley to New York without any hesitation. I might have no desire to live in the city, but if it was with her, none of that would’ve mattered.

“Did you miss us at all?” The question closed up my throat the moment it left my mouth. What if she hadn’t? What if?—

Her expression broke, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “Of course I did. I thought about you every day for years.”

“Sure didn’t feel like it.”

“Cooper, I tried. I?—”

“Riley!” The name rang through the air and a moment later Morgan burst into the kitchen, barreling straight for the love of my life. They crashed together in a hug.

“Oh my god. Morgan?”

“You’re home!”

My sister was on Riley like a barnacle, the two of them dissolving into happy tears. I wasn’t envious of Morgan that often, but this was the homecoming I had always wanted with Riley and she got it instead.

When they finally pulled back, Riley cupped Morgan’s cheeks with a brilliant smile. “My little string bean is all grown up. And I hear you have a pack too? How did that happen?”

Morgan’s cheeks flushed. “Divine intervention mostly. They’re all here if you want to meet them.”

“Hell yeah, I do.”

Morgan dragged her off and I stayed behind, hands braced on the counter.

Cash appeared barely a minute later, hands on his hips. His cheek had bloomed purple where my fist had met it hours earlier. “Why are you hiding in here?”

“Because I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to talk to her anymore.”

“Sure you do. You’re just being a weirdo about it. I talked to her the way I always used to. She’s been worried this whole time that you hate her and you’re not giving her a very good impression that you don’t.”

I huffed, shoving away from the counter. “I never needed an impression before. We always just clicked.”

“And you’ll click again,” Cash insisted. “We both know you love her.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is. She walked out on us too, not just you. Morgan is jazzed as hell to see her, and I was too.”

“Morgan had time to get herself together before seeing her.”

“You would have, too, if you didn’t decide to come back early.

” Cash flicked me in the forehead. “You never come home early on her birthday. We were going to call you and then you would’ve had two hours of your drive to prepare yourself.

No one can account for anything if you’re gonna change plans without notice. ”

“Since when do I need notice with you guys?”

Cash shrugged. “You have a ritual. We planned around that.”

“I’m sorry I hit you.”

His expression softened. “I know. Come here.”

I knew better than to refuse a hug. Cash would hold his arms in the air for as long as it took. I slipped into them, letting him squeeze out all the air in my lungs.

“Don’t fuck this up for yourself. I know it’s hard, but this is what you’ve been waiting for. She’s home. Don’t fester so much that you let her leave without resolving things.”

My heart sank. “She’s leaving?”

“I don’t fucking know. She could. I’m not gonna tie her to the fence like her mama used to do to make her stay.”

Fucking Darlene.

The Deckers probably would’ve given up on Riley, accepting we were going to form a pack.

They might not have liked it, but they did a lot of work with Wayne, and my oldest brother was a valuable business partner since he had taken over for our dads.

Getting an extra connection to us—even if it was with the bastard daughter of Deckers’ second-in-command and the youngest Harris son—would’ve been a benefit in their eyes.

But Darlene would never let her go. I knew that, and so did Riley.

“Help me?”

Cash laughed. “You want me to wingman you on our scent match?”

“I think we can both agree I need it.”

“Not as much as you think you do. She wants to fall right back into the way things were, and, yeah, there’s gotta be some conversations that happen, but she doesn’t want to be weird around you.

She’s been so fucking scared to see you because she knows what she did and she hates herself for it.

Don’t let her believe that you hate her too. ”

My stomach twisted. “I could never hate her. I’ve felt a lot of things about her over the years, but never that.”

“Then go fucking woo her. We all know you want a life with her. That’s going to come with complicated shit and hurt feelings. I’m not telling you to get over what happened, but I am telling you it’s never going to get better if you can’t have a conversation with her.”

I did want a life with her. And I wanted all of the mess and beauty that came along with that.

She was feisty. She had never hesitated to call me on shit, and I’d always returned that favor.

We had stubbornly crawled through life together, dragging each other forward whenever one of us stopped having the strength to keep going.

Cash and Morgan knew that. We had all dragged each other, surviving as one fucked-up unit, making sure we made up for all the love missing elsewhere.

I buried my face in my hands, taking a slow, deep breath. “I don’t know how to stop being so mad at her.”

Cash clapped a hand onto my shoulder. “I don’t understand everything you’re feeling, but I’m not ignorant.

What happened fucking sucks. Nothing’s going to change the past, but I’ll be damned if I let you lose out on a future with her.

She’s scared , Cooper. I feel it in the bond every second.

She’s the same beautiful mess that left us and she needs you.

Don’t try to pretend you don’t need her too. ”

“Wasn’t going to.” I hated the idea of her being scared. She had spent so much of her childhood feeling that way and I despised that it had followed her into her adult life.

“Good. Now get your ass out there and start wooing.”

I let myself be shoved out of the kitchen, finding my pack and Morgan’s in the shade, all hovering around Riley and my sister. They looked so happy.

Cash pushed me forward first, and I let my instincts draw me straight to Riley, looping my hand through hers.

She startled at first, offering me a tentative smile and lacing our fingers together.

The contact of her skin on mine was a head rush, and I suppressed the urge to drag her away, to force a conversation and get every detail I was missing.

She deserved this time with Morgan and I wasn’t going to ruin it.

Cash pressed a thumbs-up against my back, presumably a silent acknowledgment that whatever he felt in the bond was positive.

Riley grinned up at him, accepting a quick kiss as he slipped his arm over her shoulders. I needed her to look at me like that. I guess I hadn’t done very much to earn it.

Cash seemed to think I could do this. I wasn’t so sure, but maybe the scent match would make things easier. I had to use every weapon at my disposal to carve away the hurt that lingered between us, to build a future Riley might want to be a part of.

She couldn’t leave again.

I wouldn’t survive losing her a second time.