Page 98 of Kill Your Darlings

And after that, everything would be changed forever.

Granted, everything was already changed forever.

I sighed.I was really getting to hate change.

I glanced at Finn’s sleeping face—washe sleeping?Not all change was bad.

Closing my eyes, I tried to pretend I could fall back asleep, tried to convince myself I didn’t notice the slice of sunlight through the parted drapes.I wanted to spend every possible minute with Finn.I wanted to savor the moment without thinking beyond cool cotton sheets and sunlight on my face, the sound of the ocean, and the entirely pleasant weight of Finn’s arm slung possessively around my waist.

Finn mumbled, “Morning.”

I glanced over.One bleary green eye studied me.

“Good morning.”

“Sleep okay?”

“Yes.”I was too exhausted not to have slept okay.

His closed his eye, didn’t say anything else.I smiled a little, studying him.He must have heard that faint sound of amusement.He opened his eyes again.

“What?”

I shook my head, then said, “I’ve been thinking, and I’m glad—well, relieved—that I’ll have the chance to tell Judge Baldwin I’m sorry.”

Finn said nothing.

“It’s not that I expect it to make a difference to him.But I want him to know I regret my actions.Everything.”

Still no comment from Finn.

“I used to think it was easier that he didn’t know that Dom was dead.I believed it was better to have hope.For years I told myself that.”

“No.”Finn was definite.“Not knowing is harder.”

Yes.I understood that now.After years of wondering why Milo had left.Ifhe had left.

Finn said, “You were a kid.You didn’t have a lot of life experiences.Sometimes cruelty comes from a lack of empathy.Sometimes it’s a lack of imagination.But sometimes it’s simply the lack of experience.”

“It’s still strange to me that someone like Judge Baldwin could have a son like Dominic.Because he really was a bully.Not to me.He didn’t know I was alive.But to a lot of other people.He was horrible to the girls he dated.Milo gave as good as he got.But Dom used to roll over other kids like a Mack truck.Roll over them, back up, and roll over them again.”

Finn said, “Too much freedom, not enough supervision.An only child with a tragically dead mother and a father who spent the majority of his time pursuing a busy and demanding career?My guess is that Baldwin tried to make up for a lot of things by spoiling the kid.It wouldn’t be the first time that backfired.”

True.That particular dynamic showed up a lot in fiction because it showed up a lot in real life.

“Judge Baldwin gave me my first mystery novel,” I said.“The Tower Treasure.”

Finn’s eyes crinkled at the corners.He said softly, “And the rest is history.”

I nodded.“He liked mysteries.Classic mystery.”

After a moment, Finn pushed up on his elbow, propping his head on his hand as he considered me.“You think U.N.Owen is Judge Baldwin?”

“It makes sense.If you’re right and he’s the one pulling the strings.Colby doesn’t strike me as an Agatha Christie fan.”

“Probably not.”

“It’s a pretty elaborate scheme.”