Page 54 of Kill Your Darlings

Light filtered dimly around the edges of the curtains—muted coastal gray, with the faint cry of gulls somewhere beyond the glass.

I stirred, blinking against the residual throb in my skull.The pain had receded to mostly memory, though my limbs felt leaden, my stomach empty and hollow.

I had the bed to myself, but I knew I was not alone.I raised my head.I could make out the blur of Finn, sitting in the chair across from the bed, scrolling through his phone.

I reached for my glasses, slid them on.

“Did you win?”My voice sounded gravelly.“The Edgar.”

Finn glanced up; his mouth curved ruefully.“Nope.Kyle won Best Paperback Original.I knew he would.The book’s terrific.T.McGregor got Best Novel.And Hayes got Best First Novel by an American Author.

I groaned in anguish and Finn laughed.

“Hayes is okay.Just young.Trying to figure out where he fits in.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”I closed my eyes.“Do you think he’ll really refuse the award?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so.”

Finn made a sound of amusement.“How are you feeling?”

I said, without opening my eyes, “A swim, a hot shower, it’ll be all systems go.”

“Here’s an idea.What if you skip the swim and sleep a little longer?”I opened my eyes a fraction, watching warily as he rose from the chair.The mattress dipped as he sat down next to my feet.Finn said, “It’s going to be a long day.You had a rough night.”

He didn’t know the half of it.

“Typical migraine.”

His expression was serious.“Yeah?Because that was a lot worse than the other time.You scared me.”

I grimaced at the idea he had been afraid for me.“I’m fine.And even if I wasn’t, I can’t afford to show weakness.It’ll be interpreted as…”

“Weakness?”Finn suggested.

“Yes.”

He said thoughtfully, “Is it possible the buyout has you feeling just a little paranoid?”

“Of course it has!With good reason.”Abruptly, I remembered.“Why did you tell Lila you wouldn’t accept a new editor?”

He raised his brows like it was a silly question.“I’ve already got their best editor.Why would I change things just to change things?I’m not going to jeopardize my winning streak.”

There were many things I could have said to that, including pointing out that he’d just lost the Edgar.

Watching my face, Finn said quietly, “You know why.I made the decision on impulse.It was a bad decision based on incomplete information.”

“Was it, though?”

“Yes.”

I sat up carefully, settled my back against the stack of pillows.Truthfully, I would have loved nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep.For a year.Forever.

“Did you want to call your pet sitter?”

I blinked.“Why?”