Page 84 of Kill Your Darlings

Finn said nothing.He turned down the next street and we wound through the town, leisurely making our way back toward the main highway.

He let me deal with it for a couple minutes and then he said, “According to the DMV, that particular Cadillac is registered to the Devlin Family Trust.Do you know what that is?”

“I’ve heard of it.I’m trying to remember in what context.I don’t remember a Devlin family in Steeple Hill.”

“Okay, well, I’m going to do a little more digging.Coincidences happen, but it’s hard to believe that particular car is sitting in the Argyros family’s restaurant parking lot, but it has no connection to the events of the last couple of days.”

I said bitterly, “I’ll say it’s hard to believe.”

We didn’t talk a lot on the drive back to Monterey.

I couldn’t help feeling like I’d traveled lightyears since that morning.Things I had believed to be absolute truth for half my life were now revealed to be something entirely different.

I had made life-altering decisions based on faulty understanding.On lies and deception.I still wasn’t sure what was the truth.

The worn road hugged the cliffs, sun-warmed asphalt unwinding south as the afternoon light turned molten gold.To our right, the Pacific stretched wide and glittering blue, the waves catching fire where the sunlight hit them, rolling in slow, endless rhythm against the bronze rocks far below.The salty air held traces of wild fennel and eucalyptus.High overhead, black specks wheeled, their cries lost in the whoosh of wind and the muted growl of the engine.

Finn didn’t speak, one hand steady on the wheel, the other resting near—but not quite touching—my knee.I leaned my head back against the seat, eyes half-closed against the glare.

Somewhere inland, the hills rose in soft, sun-drenched folds, the grass turning silver in the breeze.Ahead, the road dipped and curved again, the ocean a constant pulse at the edge of the world.For a moment, it almost felt like a dream—too bright, too beautiful to be real.

Milo might be alive.

That wasn’t the bright beautiful part, though it would be a relief.

Finally, I shook off my funk, checked my cell, and swore.“Shit.I forgot to cancel with Mindy!”

“Uh-oh,” Finn said, although he didn’t sound particularly excited.

I raked a hand through my hair.“I can’t believe it.What the hell is thematterwith me?”

“You’ve got a few things on your mind.”

“I never do stuff like that!”

“Exactly,” he said calmly.“You never do stuff like that.You’re allowed the occasional slip.”

“Not with her, I’m not.Not right now, I’m not.Vaughn and Lila already wanted to have one of their impromptu get-togethers this afternoon.God knows what that’s about.”

I listened to the agitated echo of my words in the loud silence that followed.

Finally, Finn said, “Keir, you missed a meeting.Personally, I think it’s a meeting you can afford to do without.But if it’s going to keep you up tonight, send her flowers and an apology.Send her a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine.”

But for the love of God, shut up about it.

He didn’t say that, of course.

“Am I wearing you out?”I asked wryly.

“Nope.You’re wearing yourself out.Which worries me.You don’t have to be your best self twenty-four-seven.You don’t have to be everything to everyone at every moment.”

I opened my mouth to object to that characterization, but Finn kept talking in that calm, untroubled way.

“I know you take a lot of pride in that juggling act, and it’s impressive the way you keep all those shiny balls spinning in the air.But the world isn’t going to end if you drop the occasional ball.I would rather have an imperfect you around for the next fifty years than a perfect you spontaneously combusting in the next five.I’d like to have you in my life for a long, long time.”

I stared at him in surprise.

Finn glanced at me, added, “Since you’re asking.”