Page 60 of Kill Your Darlings

“We didn’t know what to do.Because of Judge Baldwin.”

“Ah.The rich and influential judge?”

“Yes.”

“Neither of you went to your parents?Neither of you contacted law enforcement?”Finn sounded like he’d heard this same depressing story a million times.Stupid, violent kids doing stupid, violent things.

I met his gaze.“At the time my father was sheriff.”

“I…see.”He expelled a long, controlled breath.“Okay.That… I understand why you didn’t have confidence in the system.But if it was actually self-defense, why didn’t Milo go to the sheriff’s department?Or another agency.Why didn’t he talk to a teacher?Why didn’t he talk to his parents?”

“I don’t know for a fact that he didn’t talk to his parents.I never told anyone.Until now.I don’tthinkMilo told anyone.The last time we spoke, he hadn’t told.”

“Why didn’t he go to law enforcement?”

“Milo knew about—what my father was like.Even if I’d encouraged him to talk to someone at the sheriff’s office…” I shook my head.“There would have had to be a trial.His family wasn’t well off.How would they afford a decent lawyer?They’d have had to mortgage their home.And Milo was relying on scholarships for college.If he was arrested, even if he was found not guilty, his future would have been trashed.”

Finn heard me out.He said curiously, “That’s what you thought back then.Is that what you think now?”

I opened my mouth, but he was right.These were the arguments we’d made at the time.As an adult, I could see, not only the flaws in our teenaged logic, but the troubling ethical gaps in our reasoning.

He didn’t wait for my reply.“I interrupted you.What happened after you got to the graveyard and saw that Dominic was dead?”

“Milo was terrified and panicking.He wanted me to help bury Dom in the cemetery.I tried.We tried.But we just couldn’t do it.Shoveling a hole deep enough to bury a full-sized human?”

Finn said wryly, “It’s extremely difficult.The improper or inadequate disposal of the body is one of the most common ways murderers get nailed.It’s a major vulnerability because a corpse is large, heavy, and difficult to transport or destroy without drawing attention.Also, most perps underestimate the forensic evidence a body carries.”

Fantastic.I had been reduced to aperpin Finn’s mind.

I said, “Even if we’d had all the time in the world, I don’t think we could have done it.And we didn’t have all the time in the world.So, I told Milo I’d take care of it.”

Finn’s brows drew together.“Which meant what?”

I swallowed hard.My stomach felt very rocky again.

A five-minute drive that had seemed to take hours.The old pickup’s high beams carving narrow, skittish tunnels of light through the fog-shrouded pines.The dead weight of Dominic’s lifeless form sliding, settling with a horrible finality when I took corners too fast.The rattle of the shovel in the bed of the truck, clanging like a broken church bell with every pothole.The sweet, metallic taste of blood in my mouth—I’d bitten the inside of my cheek without realizing it.

I said dully, “We loaded Dom in the bed of my pickup.I told Milo to go home.Then I drove out to Pescadero Marsh Natural Preserve and dumped the body.”

Chapter Fifteen

“He left you to handle that by yourself?”

Finn’s voice startled me out of my stricken memories.I looked up.I’d never seen that expression on his face before.

I was reminded that there was a side to him I’d never seen.The side that had first chosen law enforcement as a profession.The side that enabled him to carry a gun.To use a gun.To be willing to die in the course of his duties.To be willing to kill.

“He… He was in shock.Terrified.Horrified.”

Finn repeated again without any inflection, “Milo left you to deal with that on your own?”

“I…yes.”

“Was the body ever found?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”