Page 24 of Kayla's List
“Can I ask you something?” Kayla’s voice is sweet and uncertain.
“You can ask me anything, doll face.”
“Why are you interested in me?”
“The first night we met, you were so intelligent and outspoken. You could tell me all about the latest tech and you know how to code. You’re funny and goofy, but most of all, you’re genuine. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever come into contact with. What I don’t understand is how in the hell could you ask me a crazy ass question like that?”
* * *
KAYLA
I couldn’t believeall of the things that Anderson listed about me. I was floored. I know he believes that I’m all of those things, but I’m not. He doesn’t know anything about me and he has the wrong impression.
“Anderson…” I sigh heavily. “I was drunk that night. That wasn’t me.”
“Kayla, itwasyou. You may have been a little more uninhibited, but liquor doesn’t make you know how to code a website from scratch or how to design a game using an algorithm. You told me about both of those things and more.”
“I know that, but—”
“No. No buts.” Anderson shakes his head. A lock of brown hair falls into his face. He takes a deep breath and slides his hands through his hair like I’m the most frustrating person on Earth. I give an equally frustrated sigh; I hate when people don’t listen to me. But I hate conflict, so I know I’ll just hold it in.
“Kayla, I can’t convince you of who you are or what I saw in you that night. But the person who intrigued me is here right now and she isn’t drunk.”
Anderson’s words are so sincere, and his facial expression is so genuine that I’m almost convinced. However, I know myself. I’m not that person. I’m not outspoken and bold like Shelby or free-spirited and funny like Emani.
However, I want to be all of those things that Anderson thinks I am, not for him. For me. Nobody wants to be insecure, and uncertain and when I take a good look at myself, I regretfully admit that I am both of those things.
“So, did you get to enjoy any of the conference or did you have to work the entire time?” I question in hopes of changing the subject. I don’t want to delve into my lack of confidence, especially while I’m on a date.
“I actually got to enjoy the conference for the first time in a while. Plus, Pearson Grant!” Anderson smiles at me, and I can hear the excitement in his voice.
I’m relieved that he took the subject change in stride. There’s nothing worse than awkwardness when you’re trying to get to know someone. And even though I wasn’t expecting to be on a date tonight, I am genuinely enjoying myself.
“I know, right?! He’s a really great guy. Super smart.” I grin widely. I’ve met Pearson in the past, but we didn’t have a deep conversation or anything. I tagged along with Shelby to one of her family get togethers where I met him and Monique.
Anderson and I spent the next few minutes, gushing over Pearson Grant and his businesses before we decided to walk back to my hotel. We talked about surface things the entire walk, and even though I was comfortable with the conversation, I wanted more. I didn’t want our conversation to end.
“Would you like to have another drink before you go back to your room?” I ask Anderson, wanting to extend our time together.
“Sure, as long as it’s coffee.” Anderson smirks at me, and I giggle.
He isn’t going to let me forget our drunken meeting.I guess I will have to make him forget about it.My bold thoughts surprise me, but I smile to myself because I need to stop analyzing every single thing that I do and say.
#6. Stop overanalyzing.
“We can get coffee. I promise to never get drunk around you again.” I put my fingers up in a scout’s salute, and Anderson shakes his head at my silliness.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t get drunk around me. I just want you to know and trust me, so it’s not a big dealwhenyou get drunk around me, that’s all.” Anderson’s sweet words have me swooning.
However, it will take more than one date and the right words for me to trust a man again. Even though he seems like a nice guy, I mean super nice; I refuse to be fooled again. I dated Warren for a year, and I was the biggest fool ever.
“Thanks. But I think staying sober is probably the safest bet for me.”
Anderson slightly frowns, but he grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together before bringing the back of my hand to his lips and kissing it softly. He has a touchy feely way about him that I’m not used to. Neither of my exes was big on PDA.
And I didn’t have any outward affection shown to me after my parents died, so it never bothered me that my boyfriends didn’t want to hold my hand or kiss in public. But now that I’ve spent just a few hours with a man who can’t seem to stop touching me, it makes me wonder if I short changed myself by not demanding more love.
The thought is absurd, and I try to clear it from my mind. A person in my position can’t demand anything. I am an orphan who tried my best to remain invisible so others wouldn’t mistreat me. There’s no way I could demand love or anything else from anyone. But maybe, just maybe, I won’t have to demand anything from Anderson. Perhaps he’s willing to give me what I crave without me even having to ask.