Page 39

CHAPTER 39

One, Two, Three

LUCY

K ellen’s in love with me?

Shock has frozen every muscle in my body, including my vocal cords. I’m filled with all the feelings. Love. Joy. Happiness.

But also much worse ones.

Sadness. Desperation. Because what good can possibly come of this?

Kellen Bassey just made a literal formal announcement of his love for me. With an audience of so many people. Journalists! And now he’s stopped right in front of me. Cautious, his hands are out like he’s approaching a skittish puppy.

“I know you’ve had a lifetime of hurt from your father.” He says this in a low voice, just for me. “And your ex-fiancé is an absolute piece of garbage. He was the stupidest man on the face of this planet to lose you.”

Warmth cascades through my body, encasing the sadness and desperation until those feelings are unrecognizable. I make a soft sound but can’t get my vocal cords to work quite yet.

Kellen squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m not much smarter. I lost you too. ”

“It was sort of a scheduled loss. Remember? The KFDPC voted on it.”

His eyes fly open, and one side of his mouth turns up. “You always make me smile, Lucy Knox.”

The conversations in the room grow to a low murmur as people talk to each other, check their phones, and watch us. I look around, briefly meeting Lina’s eyes. She raises her eyebrows, and I can only imagine what she’s thinking. What the hell, probably.

I press my lips together and glance down at Kellen’s hands. He clenches his fists, then releases. It’s like he’s holding himself back from reaching for me.

“And it’s not true, what you said.” My voice cracks.

“What part of it?” Kellen asks.

“Do you know what? I think that’s all for today,” Lina announces to the group, who quiets down. “If you have any follow-up questions—” The journalists all raise their hands. “—about the sponsorship—” All the hands go down. “—then shoot me an email or call me. Have a great week.”

Relief washes over me. There was no way I could continue this conversation with such an audience.

The people of the press slowly gather their things and stand, looking not in a rush at all to leave the room.

“Come on, come on, get out now.” Lina shoos the journalists toward the exit.

Paul walks our way, pausing for a beat to clap Kellen on the shoulder.

“Sucker,” Paul says, but he has a good-natured scowl on his face. I didn’t know the man was capable of anything good-natured. He strides out of the room, not stopping to talk to anyone.

“Lucy? What part of it isn’t true?”

“The part where you said you aren’t much smarter.” I stare at Kellen, this man who I love, as he looks back at me so intensely.

He lets out a murmur and takes a deep breath .

“And the part where you said you lost me.” I said I’d never confess my feelings for him. I’d never tell him I love him. And with good reason. I’m leaving. I need to move forward in my life, accomplish all the things I know I can.

But here I am, about to spew those feelings all over him.

“Really? Lucy?” The hope in Kellen’s eyes envelops me.

Because maybe I am good enough for Kellen Bassey.

All along, I’ve thought I wasn’t. Like I wasn’t good enough to impress my father or keep Ron interested, I knew I wasn’t enough for Kellen, his daughter, his teammates, his life.

But he just showed me he doesn’t want to hide me away any longer. He could’ve waited till after the press briefing, when we could talk privately.

He wants everyone to know how he feels.

I shift on my feet. My bare feet because I had a shoe malfunction right before this briefing. Who has a shoe malfunction while wearing flat shoes? I do. Of course I do.

There’s something like hope on Kellen’s face. His eyes flit to my arms and then down to my feet.

“Where are your shoes?” he leans closer and whispers.

“The side of my shoe got caught on my office chair and completely ripped right before this meeting. I hoped no one would notice me barefoot since my dress is long.” I’m a hot mess. As always. But this man is looking at me like he doesn’t care. Like maybe he likes me because I’m a hot mess.

“Don’t you keep spare flip flops in your office?”

“Oh my gosh.” I gasp. “I totally forgot about the ones I tucked in my drawer. How did you know that?”

“You told me once.” Kellen’s grin fades. “Lucy, I really need to know what you meant by I was wrong about losing you. Please, tell me what you’re thinking.”

What am I thinking? I’m going to England. What’s the point of entertaining this fantasy ?

But he asked me to stay. He wants me to stay. Relief and joy cascade through me and blend together into brief happiness.

Brief because I can’t imagine saying no to the Winchester FC job. I couldn’t live with myself if I sacrificed my dream for a man. I want to be selfish in this next stage of my life. Confident and focused and strong enough to go after what I want.

What do I really want?

I’ve grown to love Fort Collins.

And MBM. I can’t let his name become Max.

Kellen wants me to stay.

But there are so many reasons to go.

Kellen runs his hand down his face, where there’s a five o’clock shadow.

All the love I’ve been suppressing for this man escapes from the cage I’ve tried to contain it in.

Because now everything feels different.

But is it?

I want to reach my hand out. I want to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. I could do it right now.

“Lucy?” Lina says from behind Kellen. She’d left the room with the others and now stands inside the entrance. “I know you’re busy, but can I steal you for just one minute? It’s very important. And relevant.” Lina points to Kellen. “Kellen Bassey, you stand right there and wait. This will only take a second.”

Lina waves me to right outside the now-empty room. I let out a huge breath.

“Did you know he was going to do that?” I ask, my voice shaky.

“No, of course not.” Lina puts her hands on my shoulders. “Are you okay? Do you need rescuing?”

“Absolutely not,” I say without hesitation. I’m itching to go back in there before I wake up and realize it’s all a dream.

“I didn’t tell you this before, especially after you told me about the Winchester FC job offer, but I feel like now it might be useful information.” She slides her hands off my shoulders and glances back through the doorway to Kellen. He’s standing with his hands in his joggers, facing the podium.

He turns and our eyes meet.

Devastation makes my stomach twist. I can’t give up everything for this man, even if I’m in love with him. Look what happened with Ron. With my mom and dad. With Raleigh’s two marriages. With basically every marriage and long-term relationship I’ve seen up close.

“Fiona isn’t coming back to the Blizzard.”

“What?” I swing my head back to Lina sharply.

“She called me earlier this week to confirm it, but she’s been considering for a while. Said she can’t bear to leave her baby. He’s had a few health issues, although he’s fine now.”

Lina tells me the short story of Fiona asking for an extension of her mat leave, then another extension, then finally telling Lina she doesn’t want to come back at all.

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured but now might be the right time to tell you that if you want it, there’s a job here for you with the Blizzard in Fort Collins. We’ve all loved having you on the team. You’ve been a great asset, and a wonderful person to work with.” Lina reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Everyone loves you, Lucy.”

“You’re offering me Fiona’s job?” My mind races to catch up.

Holy shit.

This could change everything.

“It’d be senior director of marketing and public relations, which you’ve proved you’re completely qualified for. The same level as your Winchester FC job offer. We can talk salary and benefits, if you want.”

Lina tells me the estimated salary, and I nod. It’s good. Not as good as the job Richard is dangling in front of me, but similar to Winchester FC .

“Thank you.” I look back inside. “I think I better get back in there.”

“Okay.” She releases my hand. “Hey, call or text if you want to talk.”

And with a quick hug, Lina’s gone. I stand in the hallway alone.

I have three job offers?

I picture Atticus dropping me off at the Denver airport, about an hour drive from Fort Collins. Getting on a plane to England. Flying thousands of miles away from this place. Away from Atticus. Kellen. MBM.

The thought fills me with dread.

What if I stayed here?

I allow myself to consider the idea. I’m filled with the opposite of dread. Elation. Hope.

Love.

I head back in to see Kellen.

“Do you mean it?” I walk quickly up to him, the scratchy corporate carpet rough on my bare feet.

He turns to me and nods his head. “Every word. Lucy, I?—”

“I love you too.” I say it so quickly, he blinks and his forehead crinkles. I close my eyes and intake a steadying breath.

That’s not enough. I have to explain why I love him.

I open my eyes.

“I think I fell in love with you in Wyoming when we kissed under the carpet of stars behind the resort. Or maybe it was as far back as the first hike we went on when you saved me from the rattlesnake.”

Kellen chuckles and reaches his hands out to mine. I let him entwine our fingers together.

“You would’ve been okay.”

“Well, you definitely saved MBM.”

“I think it was Bear at the time. But yeah, he might not have been okay. ”

I huff a laugh.

“Kellen, you made me feel something again. Not just something. Everything. You had no judgement. You laughed with me when my dog was ridiculous. So basically all the time.” I shrug. “When I was ridiculous. Also all the time.”

Kellen huffs a laugh, but I keep talking, this time with a smile behind my words.

“You laugh when I do stupid shit like spitting water all over you or breaking my shoe before a big press conference.”

“I love you because you’re ridiculous, not in spite of it, Lucy.”

I close my eyes for a beat and breathe in. I want to hear those words over and over out of Kellen’s mouth.

“You’re brave and strong and care so much about your daughter. You treat your teammates like your family and are generous and kind. And the way you look at me?” My voice hitches. “The way I feel when you touch me?” I glance down at his lips and let the warmth from his fingers spread up my arms and into my chest.

“You make me crazy for you, hot sauce,” Kellen says, dead serious.

“Now I’m a condiment?” I burst out laughing and Kellen shrugs sheepishly. I step closer. “I love you too, Kellen. I love your daughter. I love everything about your life.”

“Thank god.” Kellen lifts a hand and pushes back a curl from my forehead. It immediately springs forward. “I can’t lose you, Lucy. That’s why things went so far on New Year’s Eve. I was heartbroken at the idea that you’d be gone forever soon.”

I love this man.

I don’t want to leave.

I can’t leave.

“Kellen.” I pull my hands out of his and reach up to his face. His eyes burn, and he slides his hands on my waist, pulling me against him. I can feel his heart thumping against mine. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“I’m not?” His face is open and vulnerable. He looks less like a tough hockey player and more like a man who is naked and baring his soul without knowing what will happen.

“Kitty, I can’t believe you said all those things at a press briefing,” I quirk a smile. “Wow, that name really doesn’t work. Sounds like an eighty-year-old woman rocking a water aerobics class.”

Kellen laughs. “I had to convince you that I was serious. I meant every word.” He squeezes my waist. “Can I kiss you now?”

I nod, unable to squeak out an answer aloud. Kellen leans down and presses his lips against mine, and it’s everything I’ve missed since our fake breakup. Since New Year’s Eve.

Everything I can’t live without.

I relish the feel of his soft, warm lips. His kisses are a seal to our love. A promise. A confession.

“I missed you,” he says when he finally pulls away.

“Me too.” I press my forehead against his and try to catch my breath.

“So will you? Go out with me?”

I laugh.

“Of course, I’ll go out with you.”

“And… when are you leaving for England?” His voice is tortured.

“I’m not.” I shake my head. I’ve made my decision.

I can’t leave Fort Collins.

This town is giving me all the opportunities in the world to build a life here: family, a job, friends, my dog, Kellen.

“What?” Kellen’s brow furrows deeply.

“Lina just offered me a job. Fiona’s not coming back.”

Emotions swirl in his widened eyes.

“You can kiss me again,” I say.

He smashes his mouth on mine. I press my body up against him and move to my tiptoes. Kellen’s phone buzzes in his pocket, pressed firmly against my thigh.

“Want to check that?” I say, my lips moving against his mouth .

“That’s probably the Kellcy Fake Dating Planning Committee text chain. We should fill our friends in.”

I release him from our embrace so he can pull out his phone, loving the sound of our friends .

Kellen flips the screen around to show me, keeping one hand on my hip. There’s a stream of texts coming in a group titled Kellcy Fake Dating Planning Committee (No Lucy).

I’m not sure if I’m offended or touched.

A little of both, I think.

Lachlan

It must be over by now. What happened, mate?

January

Kellen, you have five minutes before I call Lucy to find out

Atticus

Give it a minute in case my sister just wiped the floor with him

Raleigh

That’s not funny, Atticus

Atticus

Who said I was trying to be funny? You know it’s a distinct possibility

Raleigh

You wouldn’t know funny if it knocked you into the boards

Atticus

Aw, she used a hockey reference

Harley

Give it a rest, you two

Bri

He’ll update us as soon as he can. Have patienc e

“Holy crap, they are persistent,” I say with a laugh.

“Sure are. Here, let’s do this.” Kellen presses the camera button and holds the phone back, capturing both of us on the screen. “Photo evidence?”

“Perfect,” I say, and Kellen takes the picture.