Page 35

CHAPTER 35

Dream Job

LUCY

Wednesday, January 8

“ L ondon is amazing.” I moan and take in the view of the city from the twentieth-floor wine bar.

“Yes, ma’am, it sure is. Cheers.” January holds out her glass and clinks mine. “To an amazing interview, and you moving to England.”

“Don’t jinx it, sis.” I sip my dark red wine and enjoy the warmth it offers me. “But can you stay here too? I’ll be so mad if I show up and you peace out a month later.”

“I’ve thought about it. I do enjoy London.” January rolls her shoulders back. “But I don’t think I’ll be here forever.”

“Alright, ladies?” The bartender returns, showing off his gorgeous English accent. He refills our wine glasses from the bottle of Malbec on the bar.

“Thanks, Andrew,” January coos.

“So how do we know the bartender’s name?” I whisper when he walks to the other end of the bar to serve a group of men in suits.

January shrugs and flicks her hair out of her face.

“I have to keep busy somehow, don’t I?”

We both giggle, and then a voice calls out from the entrance to the bar.

“Hello, ladies!”

“Stella!” January waves her friend over to us.

“You must be one of the best friends January is always talking about.” Stella, a pretty, smiling woman with shoulder-length blonde hair, grins at me warmly and slides onto the bar stool next to January.

“I’m Lucy,” I say. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.”

“Stella and I met through a work project,” January says, nodding her head to her friend. “She’s American but has lived in London for a decade. And is married to an ex-pro rugby player.”

“Oh, no, not married. I don’t do marriage.” Stella laughs lightly. “But when you move here?—”

“If I move here,” I correct.

“ If you move here, my partner’s got plenty of hot rugby player friends I can introduce you to.”

“Well, we’ll see, I guess?”

I arrived in London last night after taking the train back from Winchester. The interview with Winchester FC went smoothly. I met with the head of HR, then the vice president of marketing and public relations—who would be my boss—and finally the club president. It’s a big job, and that makes me both nervous and excited.

I know I can do it. Any of that job performance insecurity I had during my DC FC years is gone. My father had been intentionally holding me back, but that’s over now.

But there’s a stabbing in my gut when I think about walking away from the Blizzard. It’s been so fun to work for Lina and with the team—and not just the Kellen part.

Too bad it’s not even an option. And I can’t imagine rejecting a job offer from Winchester FC. If I get one.

“She’s definitely getting the job,” January says to Stella, who nods in instant agreement.

Earlier today, we walked around north London, where January rents a flat. It’s cold and wet and gets dark at four o’clock here, but she tells me that in the summer, it’s light until well after ten at night.

And it’s not like D.C. is nice this time of year either. Cold and wet and dark as well.

Fort Collins, though… there’s something gorgeous about the snowcapped mountains and the feel of Colorado in the winter. Something magical. Maybe I can go back and visit Atticus next year. Soccer will always be my first love, but I’ve really fallen for hockey. The constant movement and excitement of the dozen players on the ice. The intensity of the crowd in the enclosed arena. The raw power of the sport.

But will I ever be able to separate my feelings about Fort Collins and hockey with the man who has dominated my time and thoughts since I arrived there?

“You’ll love living in England. Oh, and I have a sister, Reese, who lives in Scotland with her Scottish husband, and another sister, Maddie, who lives in Ireland with her Irish husband. I’m trying to convince January to take a trip with me this summer to visit one or both of them.” Stella sips her wine.

“I might join you, Stella.” January shrugs. “But you know I have a hard time committing that far in advance. But Lucy—” January turns to me. “London is a short flight away from so many amazing places. It’s incredible.”

“Sounds like it,” I say. I picture a whole new life here, one that January and Stella are doing an impressive job of painting for me.

“You’ll be here by then. You can totally join us in Scotland and Ireland. If I go.” January reaches over and touches my hand, but I’m in another world and hardly hear her.

“Oh, and both my sisters’ husbands used to play for Winchester FC. I can’t believe I didn’t open with that. ”

“Wow, that’s crazy. Wait—all three of you are with ex pro athletes?” My jaw drops slightly open.

“Um, yes.” Stella sips her wine casually. “Why, is that weird?”

“I guess not.” I shake my head. But I don’t have interest in soccer players or rugby players.

Just a certain hockey player.

Kellen and I haven’t talked since New Year’s Eve. What was I thinking in that bathroom? I wasn’t. When he wiped my chest with that tissue, I became desperate for him. It was animal instinct. Like if we hooked up again, maybe things would be different. He was looking at me with that intense stare of his. My neck heats just remembering.

As soon as it was over, I knew it had been a mistake. For my heart.

I’m so in love with that man.

My gut twists. I’m gonna beat that feeling down, stomp on it, ignore it, and fight it until it disappears for good.

But I can’t get the words he said to me on New Year’s Eve out of my head: I’ve never wanted anything more. I always want you, Lucy. I’m not sure I’ve ever ? —

Did I dream that moment? I had been tipsy, sure. But I heard those words. What was he about to say? I kissed him to stop him from finishing. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to say things we can’t take back.

“Stop thinking about your hot hockey player.”

I scream in shock when January’s voice cuts through my thoughts. She huffs a laugh and Stella giggles with delight.

“I’ve heard about this fake dating situation. You know, one of my sisters started out by fake dating her husband. It’s not as uncommon a situation as you might think…” Stella’s voice trails off, inviting questions, but I barely register her words.

“Why would you think I’m thinking of Kellen?” I attempt nonchalance and sip my wine .

“The state of denial you are in is extraordinary, babes.” January rolls her eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean.” But my voice cracks, and I drain half my glass to soothe my throat.

“Lucy. You banged him in a hotel bathroom on New Year’s Eve.”

Stella gasps. “Amazing. Ethan and I have a thing for public places as well.” Her face takes on a dreamy expression.

January grins at Stella. “And this is why I hang out with you.” She turns back to me. “But that bathroom situation is so not you. It’s never been you.”

“That word is so harsh,” I grumble.

“What word? Oh, banged? Could’ve been worse. I could’ve said fu?—”

“Please stop.”

“Okay. How about: made sweet love?” January raises her eyebrows. “On a public bathroom counter?”

I cringe. “Ew on multiple levels.”

January and Stella laugh, and I join them.

“I was trying out being adventurous,” I say.

“Bullshit.”

“Please invite me to the wedding,” Stella begs.

“Wedding??” I look at Stella and then January, who are both grinning.

“You and this hockey player. Because now I’m wondering how much of a chance we really have to convince you to move to London.”

“Trust me, there’s no wedding.” I shake my head aggressively, then make a miserable sound and rub my forehead with two fingers.

“Yes. You’re right, Lucy.” January leans over and puts her hand on my forearm. “No wedding. But here’s what is going to happen. You’ll get this job and move to England. It will be amazing. You’ll travel all the time to fantastic European cities. You’ll make lots of new friends—like Stella. You’ll meet a sexy English man who will make you forget all about Kellen Bassey. Could be a rugby player.” She tilts her head. “Could be a Scottish man. Or Irish. French? They can be assholes but sexy as fuck.”

“I repeat: rugby players.” Stella nods knowingly.

“But what about my dog, Janny?” I stare at January with a hint of desperation.

“Not your dog, remember, Lulu?” January shakes her head.

“Yeah.” I wonder how MBM is doing at the Delightful Doggy Palace. It’s primarily a daycare, but they also have space to board a limited number of dogs. I’ve been checking the live video feed, but January’s already swatted my hand away from my phone three times to stop me from obsessively peeking.

I might have found a permanent home for the stupid mutt.

Lina has a neighbor family who just lost their dog, and they’re interested in adopting MBM. I already met up with one of the moms at a green area in the middle of Fort Collins, and she laughed and cooed at my dog, who traitorously licked her hand and her face. We made plans to meet again with the other mom before they make a final decision.

Fiona is returning to the Blizzard. She’s scheduled to transition back at the end of February, so if I get this job, I’m free to go basically any time after that.

But what if I don’t get the Winchester FC job?

And what if my dad comes through with a real job offer? Surely I can’t take it, even if I don’t get the England job. I can’t do that to myself.

“Jesus, babes. Are you in there? Do you need to check your dog’s social media feed or whatever?”

I laugh. “It’s a live video feed of the kennel.”

“Is this that dog palace place?”

“The Delightful Doggy Palace. It’s where he goes to for doggy day care a few days a week. ”

January shakes her head at me, but she’s got a smile peeking out.

“I bet you could get a ton of followers for him on social media if you shared some of his ridiculous stories.”

I hate the dread in my stomach that manifests whenever I think about handing over that dog for good. It was never, ever supposed to be permanent. I simply accepted him when my ex dumped him on me. I’d give him one last adventure and find a good home for him in Colorado, a better dog environment than D.C.

In hindsight, I bet he would’ve been snapped up by a nice family at a shelter in D.C. Not be fed to a snake like I’d feared. Still, I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t shove the little dog back into Ron’s arms that day at my door.

The word bear makes me think of the name Kellen gave him when we went hiking. I groan and close my eyes.

“You’ll start a new life here, Lulu.”

I open my eyes, and January covers my hand with hers. “Don’t let a dog or a hot hockey player lead you astray.”

“But January, what if?—”

“What if what? Did Kellen confess his love to you on that bathroom floor?”

“It wasn’t the floor.”

“The wall?”

I shake my head. “The counter.”

“Lovely. Did he beg you to stay?”

“No.”

“Did he even ask you to stay?”

I move my head slowly from side to side. He hadn’t. What would I have done if he had? If Lina had offered me a job? I could continue with the life I’m building in Fort Collins. Working for the Blizzard. Hanging out with Atticus and the hockey boys. Maybe even be Coach Lucy to Ava on a more permanent basis.

But that’s not what happened .

“He didn’t ask me to stay.” And I didn’t ask him if he wanted me to.

January is quiet for a moment.

“Girl, he should’ve begged you.” Stella sips her wine and watches me with clear blue eyes.

I sigh. “That was a weird night.”

“Sure was. Did I tell you that I talked to Savannah for a while?” January twirls her wine glass. “You were chatting to Lina.”

“No, you didn’t.” I furrow my brow.

“Hmm. Yeah. She was interesting. Did you know she has her law degree? And was studying for the Virginia bar before she moved to Colorado?”

“Kellen said something about her going to law school.”

“Yeah. I don’t even know how it came up. But then I told her I did one semester of law school and quit. She thought it was hilarious.”

“Sounds like you had fun with her.” I raise my eyebrows.

“She wants to take the bar in Colorado, but I don’t think her husband approves.” January shrugs. “I felt bad for her. But I guess that’s what happens when you marry an asshole.”

Stella scoffs. “Sounds like that woman needs saving.”

“When I told her I broke up with Kellen, she offered to go out for a girls’ night.” I remember that day in the corporate sponsorship box when she’d showed such empathy.

“See? She doesn’t seem so bad.”

“I don’t think she is.”

“Right.” January nods. “Kellen will do fine without you there. Savannah was never going to intentionally sabotage him, and I think she might now understand she should be careful with how her husband sees things.”

“Maybe.”

I need to get a hypothetical life in Fort Collins out of my head. I’m in too deep with the Winchester FC job. I’ve made a plan. I’ve committed to the plan, even if it’s just to myself at this point. And the plan sounds amazing.

Why would I try to change that?

Because I think I’m in love?

How can I ever really know someone after what Ron did to me? I can’t trust my own instincts or feelings.

Kellen’s way out of my league, anyway.

In England, I’ll forge my own way. Start fresh. I can be a new version of myself, without my painful past on display. No one will know who I am.

Everything will be better here in England. A fresh start.

So why do I feel like such garbage?

And why can’t I get Kellen Bassey’s gorgeous face out of my mind?