Page 29

CHAPTER 29

The Worst Skater

LUCY

Thursday, December 5

“ H ave you ever ice skated before?” Kellen chuckles as I cling to his arm like it’s the last floating door and I’ve just fallen off the Titanic.

“Yes,” I hiss. “A few times when I was younger.”

It’s late and quiet in the arena. Thanksgiving was a week ago, and our break up date isn’t for another nine days.

I’ve had the most fun with Kellen over the past week. Sure, he’s busy with practice and games and his daughter, but he’ll stop by my office to say hi every day after practice. We sneak kisses and then he saunters out like it’s nothing. On Tuesday, he was in the gym for an extra-long workout, and I worked late… And then we locked the door to my office and made out against the wall like a pair of horny teens.

The best part is that this relationship is HR vetted, so we don’t even have to really hide. But we do because we’ve not told anyone this is real.

I haven’t told him I love him. That would be stupid. I’m leaving. My life isn’t here. And I don’t even really believe that I’m in love with him. Except those words keep going through my head like a cable news headline whenever I’m with him and sometimes I have to bite my tongue so they don’t slip out.

“Remember what we did out there?” Kellen nods to outside the rink where we had a mini lesson. Where it’s safe and not slippery.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“What are you supposed to be doing?”

“Small steps,” I grumble.

“And what are you doing?”

“No steps. Just holding onto you so I don’t die.”

“I’m having a hard time understanding how your brother is a NHL player, but you can’t even stand up on the ice.”

“Shut up!” I attempt to let go and stomp off but immediately lose my balance. “It was so much easier when we weren’t on a slippery surface.”

Kellen grabs me by the waist and laughs.

“You should see Ava skate. She’s pretty impressive.”

“Good for Ava,” I say, but I can’t help but be impressed. That little girl is good at everything.

Last night the weather was unseasonably warm, so we got Ava’s soccer team together for a fun reunion scrimmage on a lit field. The little kids screaming for me— Coach Lucy, look at what I can do! —warmed my heart. They begged me to play with them, so I did. I can at least keep up with the Snowballs. Ava is the biggest sweetheart of them all, which isn’t surprising given how amazing her dad is.

Ugh. I’m such a goner.

“I was hoping we could pass a puck with each other, but I’m not sure we’ll even get to the hockey stick part of the evening.”

“This is hopeless.”

“Try marching.” Kellen lifts his skates up one at a time. “Might help you get a better feel for the ice.”

“Like this?” I try marching and almost bite it. “I feel like you’re trying to get me back for making you roar like a mountain lion on our hike.” He cracks up, but marching helps, and I feel a bit steadier.

“How about some short, slow glides?” Kellen shows me what he means. The thing is, he looks like a graceful swan when he does it, and I’m sure I look more like an uncoordinated penguin.

I try though, and it sort of works. I make a few short glides without holding onto Kellen’s arm, then I throw a giant smile backwards at him before falling.

I groan and prop myself up on my elbows. I think I broke my ass.

“How do you do this and play hockey at the same time? I don’t understand.”

Kellen laughs and holds his hand out. “It’s second nature. Like walking. We’ve all been skating since we were little.”

I reach for his hand, but instead of letting him lift me up, I tug him down onto me, and he lets himself fall. Kellen holds himself up on either side with a grin that makes my breath catch, then closes the remaining gap between us to kiss me.

“Come on. Let’s get you up.” His lips tickle mine as he speaks.

“But I’m much less likely to fall while I’m down here.” I let him pull me up.

“Just stay standing and I’ll pull you along,” he says, facing me and planting his hands on my waist.

“Okay,” I laugh. “Don’t let me fall.”

Kellen pulls me gently, and I’m impressed (but not surprised) by his ability to skate backwards.

We’re laughing the whole time, and when we get done with a full lap, I tell him I need a break, then point to the side.

“Can we sit there?”

“Sure.” Kellen grabs my hand and drags me to the penalty box—too quickly, and I see my life flash before my eyes—and pulls me onto his lap on the bench.

He kisses me deeply and lays a hand on the outside of my thigh.

“This is a lot more fun than when I’m normally in here,” he says against my mouth, and I smile and keep kissing him.

Sometimes I wish we could be a normal couple. The secrecy is making us get creative about spending time together. Kellen teaching me how to skate is certainly more memorable than watching a movie.

I’m afraid it’s making me fall even deeper in love with him.

And I get it. His family comes first. I’m a temporary person in his life. In Ava’s life. As much as my heart twinges when I think about walking away from Kellen, Ava, MBM, my brother.

That secret—the one where I love him—will stay locked inside me forever. I won’t tell Raleigh or January or my mom or Atticus or anyone.

And especially not Kellen.