Page 37 of Julian

Julian wanted that too, but he wasn’t sure what that looked like.

So, I guess we need to discuss names. I don’t have any ideas yet, but if you have a name that is important to you or your family, let me know.

I have included a picture from the ultrasound so that you can see what the baby looks like… sort of! Angie was with me. I had her take a video in case you wanted to see it someday.

He should have been with her. He should have been there to hear that they were having a son. Already he was missing out on things with him, all because he had a drinking problem.

Something that felt like resolve settled within him. He might not want to deal with his past, but he had to do it for the sake of his son. The little boy deserved to have a father who was present and whole.

There was nothing he could do to change what had happened in the past, but he had to tell Duncan and deal with the consequences. It was time to try to free himself from the guilt he’d carried for so many years.

With that settled in his mind, Julian continued to read the letter.

More good news! Jude proposed to Angie the other day, and no surprise, she said yes. They’re planning a wedding reallysoon, like in a month or so. I’m Angie’s matron of honor. Do you think you’ll be able to be here for it?

Julian wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be there, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to attend a wedding, especially Angela’s, when he was dealing with the mess his life was in.

You asked me in your letter if I was a Christian and if I went to church. The answer is no, I’m not. I have gone to church sporadically with Angie over the years. I haven’t thought much about it, but as I’ve watched Angie deal with everything recently, I’ve wondered about God and her faith in Him more than usual.

Angie is not a brave person by nature, but over the past few years, she’s pushed herself to do things. Since she started going to church, she’s memorized a Bible verse she recites to herself when faced with something difficult. It says something about being able to do everything with God’s help.

As I look at what lies ahead for me—and now our son—I think perhaps I’m going to need God’s help to be the mom I should be to him.

Angie also seems so content and at peace with what’s happened to her and even what happened to Jude. I envy her that because I’ve been anything but content lately. I think I might ask her about going to church with her and Jude.

Before Julian could dwell too much on what she’d shared, there was a soft chime from the intercom panel installed in every room. It was followed by the announcement that lunch was being served.

He skimmed the last bit of the letter, which was only a couple more lines letting him know she appreciated his letters and hoped that he continued to do well.

As he put the letter back into the envelope, he found the picture she’d included of the ultrasound. He stared at it for a minute, barely able to make out the features in the baby's profile.

There was a knock on his door, and from its rhythm, Julian knew it was Elijah. He got up and went to open the door.

“Ready to grab some lunch?” the man asked.

“Yep,” Julian said. “But first, here.”

Elijah took the picture and bent his head to look at it. When he lifted his head a moment later, he was smiling.

“Amazing. Did she find out what the gender is?”

“A boy.”

Elijah handed the picture back to him, then clapped him on the shoulder. “Congratulations, Dad.”

“Thanks.” He took the picture back to the table, then left the room with Elijah.

They walked in silence to the dining room, Julian's mind still processing the news.

A son. The word felt weighty… significant in a way he hadn't anticipated.

As they entered the spacious room with its panoramic views of the mountains, Julian noticed his steps felt lighter despite the heaviness in his chest.

The room hummed with subdued conversation and the clink of silverware against china. Julian filled his plate from the buffet, barely registering what he was selecting. His thoughts kept returning to the grainy ultrasound image, his first glimpse of his son.

"You look like you're in shock," Elijah commented as they settled at their usual table. "Good news should make you happier."

Julian stabbed at a piece of grilled chicken on his plate. "I am happy. Just… processing."