Page 48

Tingles of pleasure skittered along my skin in the wake of his touch.

The rosettes smoked with the black shadows emerging from them.

Short tendrils of shadows flared out of Kurai’s arms too.

The wounds on his arms had healed, no longer looking like gaping holes that tormented me with guilt and compassion.

But his growing tendrils were still too new to stretch long enough to be useful on their own.

“You want to create a new Source of Joy. Is that what this is for?” I clarified, setting the magical vial back onto the stand. My tendrils extended fully, but I didn’t connect them with his.

“Yes,” he replied simply.

“And you want me to be the first one to start it?”

“Only if you want to do it.”

With him, I knew I always had a choice in everything. Kurai would never force or manipulate me into doing anything I didn’t wish to do. But I still held some reservations that needed clarification.

“What was your plan for this morning?” I gestured at all the items laid out around the stand .

“I’ll feed you dinner.” He pointed at the tray with food. “Then give you a bath.” He moved his finger to the tub. “Then I’ll massage every part of your body and eat you out for dessert if you let me.” He grinned, making me smile too.

“And while you’re doing all those lovely things to me, we’ll collect my horny feelings in this jar? And call it the new Source of Joy?”

“We can call it anything we want, my sweetest. Will you share your joy with others, Ciana, for them to feel and treasure it for years to come?”

I bit my lip, pondering the consequences of that.

“How much will they know when they feel it? I mean, I’m not sure if I want everything that happens between you and me during our private moments to be for public consumption.”

“They will feel your love for me, but they won’t be able to distinguish it from any other kind of love that will be added to the Source.

They will feel the sexual pleasure, but they won’t know who it came from or the exact circumstances under which it was created.

Our private moments will remain private, just for you and me, and our memories will be only ours too.

But through you, many shadow fae will learn for the first time ever how joyful love can feel.

They’ll have a chance to discover all the different kinds of pleasure.

Your joy will comfort them in the darkest moments of their lives, and I truly believe it will make them want to be better people, which in turn will make our kingdom a better place for all. ”

“You really hope so?” I longed to believe in his words with all my heart.

“It’s not just hope, Ciana.” He paused as if considering what he was about to say next or whether he should say it at all.

“No more secrets, Kurai,” I reminded.

“It’s not a secret.” He shook his head. “It’s only a theory right now that may not hold true for everyone, but…I’ve been feeling joy in your presence even when I’m not connected to you.”

“You have? ”

He nodded with genuine excitement dancing in his eyes.

“I’m not sure whether it’s just an echo of the joy you’ve brought me in the past, or my memories of your pleasure, but the delight I’m feeling right now is much stronger than just peace and satisfaction that normally would be the highest emotion possible to experience for my kind.

For me, loving you is not an affliction to be feared, but a deep, lasting pleasure. ”

“And you want others to be able to feel it too?”

“I do. But your joy is yours. No one can decide for you whom to share it with.”

I looked at the empty glass again, thinking back to the Source of Joy I saw in the temple. It felt bizarre to harvest and store emotions as if they were honey or fruit. But if that was the only way for people to experience happiness, I didn’t want to deny them that.

I loved Kurai. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, and I wished everyone could get at least a taste of our happiness.

“Joy is to be shared,” I said. “Let’s do this.”

We had dinner together. Then Kurai bathed me in the warm fragrant water in the tub.

He lathered my body with silky soap in long, languid strokes and gently washed my hair.

He kissed me, his breath halting along with mine in pleasure.

But my tendrils were not connected to him.

All this time, their ends remained in the hexagonal glass he’d made.

The glow of magic shone fiercely from the center of the room where the stand with the glass stood.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me out of the tub. He was naked, save for the golden collar that he never took off because he claimed his life’s purpose never changed. Except that now, I was his one and only Joy. And he would forever be my Guardian, keeping me safe and well.

Tenderness overwhelmed me. The warmth of love was uncontainable, flooding my chest. I could scream to the world how much I loved this man. But all I had to do for them to know was to share the joy of my love with them.

“So, no one will know how I look naked or how much I love that thing you do with your tongue, right?” I teased as he laid me on the velvet padded lounger and dried my skin with a soft towel.

“That thing I do with my tongue will remain our secret forever, sweetheart, as will the many other ways I make you scream and writhe in pleasure.”

“I don’t really scream, do I?” I asked, unsure.

“Oh yes, you do. You also moan, groan, and whimper. And make those sweet, little mewing noises, the sex kitten that you are.”

My face grew hotter with every word he spoke.

“Well, if I make you scream today, the whole kingdom will get to taste my joy at hearing you moan and ‘mew.’”

“Can’t wait.” He leaned closer, lowering his lips to mine.

His muscles relaxed under my touch, and he moaned into our kiss.

“You’re really feeling it, aren't you?” I whispered in awe. “You’re feeling joy all on your own.”

He nodded with a hard swallow, then guided my hand down his chiseled abs to where his mating cluster emerged. His feelers reached for my hand, and I wiggled my fingers over them.

“I feel it all, my sweet. And it isn’t like the mating fever,” he said. “There is no pain, only desire. The most delightful kind of it.” He kissed the side of my neck. “What will you have now, my goddess? Dessert? Massage?”

“You,” I said quickly.

He hummed in approval, spreading my legs. Impatient, I thrust my hips up toward him. He ducked his head between my thighs and dragged his hot tongue over my throbbing clit.

My hips bucked with a jolt of pleasure. He hummed against me, the soft vibration spreading warm arousal through my entire body .

I stretched languidly, fully surrendering to his touch. He dipped his tongue inside me, reaching for that spot that made me “mew” with need. I sank my fingers into his hair, teasing his black, silky locks out of their leather tie.

His tongue moved lower still. Lifting my legs to his shoulders, he licked down between my butt cheeks to the spot we hadn’t explored yet.

“What are you doing?” I tensed.

“Caressing every part of your body.”

“Alright…um…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

He waited for my answer with one thumb gently stroking my clit and the other one pressed against my back opening.

I knew Kurai would never do anything I didn’t enthusiastically agree to.

He didn’t need his tendrils to know how I felt, and he would stop the moment I told him to.

He would never intentionally make sex painful or degrading to punish me.

Those horrors were now firmly in my past, and my past no longer held any power over me.

“No. Don’t stop.” I relaxed my muscles, allowing him to touch me everywhere.

He dipped his finger into one of the oil vials he’d prepared for my massage. The sweet scent of vanilla and honeysuckle filled the air. It reminded me of Kurai’s scent when he came—simply delicious.

The gentle thrumming of his thumb against my throbbing clit never ceased, ever so subtly spurring my desire higher and higher. Then he slipped the oiled finger of his other hand into me from behind.

“Let me enjoy you in every way, my sweet. Let me worship you like the goddess you are,” he murmured, massaging and stretching the rim of my back entrance while rubbing my clit with his thumb.

“Wait…” I panted between the swells of pleasure that left me breathless. “I want you… In me, Kurai. Please… ”

He didn’t make me beg for long. Kissing up my belly first to my breasts, then to my lips, he pulled himself up my body.

His cluster tickled between my legs, then his feelers wiggled inside me, stroking all my sensitive places on their way.

One of them strayed to the back, followed by a couple more, all trying to fit inside me one way or the other.

“Ready?” Kurai kissed my cheek, and I marveled at how collected he looked, so different to the desperate, tortured man he’d been during his mating fever just a few days ago.

“I’m ready.” I nodded without even a bit of apprehension. My trust in this man was absolute.

In a slow, steady thrust forward, he entered me, filling me completely. I gripped his backside with both hands.

“How does it feel?” he rasped.

His body went rigid like steel. He kept in firm control, not moving deeper.

“It feels fantastic, my love,” I breathed out.

He released a breath, too, then moved a little out of me only to thrust back in again. The angle proved a little off for me, so I shifted my hips in search of a better connection. He lowered himself on one elbow, cradling the back of my head in the same hand. With his other hand, he found my clit.

My desire surged to unbearable heights. I couldn’t hold it back even if I tried. Pleasure flooded me, and I came hard, with screams erupting from my throat. My body was still spasming in bliss when Kurai joined me with his climax.

“You…came?” I stared at him in shock. “On your own?”

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Dawn told me that even as a bonded couple, she and Rha only ever made love while connected through their tendrils. I thought the shadow fae couldn’t orgasm unless their emotions merged with the feelings of their bonded human.

But Kurai’s release was evident, slicking my thighs and filling the air with his sweet fragrance.

“I most certainly did.” He rolled to his side, wrapping an arm around me to keep me close.

As one of the selected few, Kurai had been exposed to joy since childhood through the Source in the temple.

Since we first met, he’d been with me almost daily, and for a big part of our time together, we had literally been connected as one.

I wondered if his theory was true, and the shadow fae really could learn to feel joy on their own with time, without connecting to any outside “source.”

“Look at you.” I grinned, tracing the hard edge of his jaw with my finger. “You don’t need me for joy anymore.”

“But there is no joy for me without you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s you or me who creates it, it only happens when we’re together.”

He kissed me, smiling contently.

I curled on my side and hid a yawn.

“Tired?” he asked, then collected me from the lounger and reached for the glowing glass from the stand with the ends of my tendrils still dipped inside it.

“Leave them in.” I waved a hand before wrapping my arm around his neck. “Just take the glass to the bedroom with us. I feel like I still have lots of joy to share.” I snuggled into his chest as he carried me down the stairs to our bedroom.

“Do you want to share your dreams with the world, too, my sweetest goddess?”

“I do. My dreams are beautiful now, filled with joy. And it’s all because of you.”

Thank you for staying with me on the Joyless Kingdom journey.